Quote:
Originally Posted by zx10guy
Your situation is what the ideal marriage would be. So I'm happy for you and others that have this situation. But to put out the counterpoint to an ideal marriage and how things can go horribly wrong, here's what I went through.
Got married. Agreed that the wife would stay home after she gave birth to our daughter. That's where everything went downhill. I tried to help with all the baby duties but was met with verbal abuse and hostility. Everything she did was right and everything I did was wrong. She was studying for her nursing degree which I was funding 100%. She drove herself nuts studying and taking care of our daughter even though I tried to help. This led to further tension in our marriage. Eventually, she started to go hang out with her friends to the point where it was a regular weekly occurrence. She took our daughter and left our daughter with her mother to take care of when she was out clubbing. This was the start of the alienation between my daughter and myself. I got cancer for the second time during the marriage which I had to deal with by myself. She stopped going to the appointments and I had complications from the surgery which again I dealt with by myself. I kept paying the bills and even when I went out to shop for groceries, I would get things she needed. But I had to cook my own meals, do my own laundry, and do all the maintenance around the house.
Fast forward to the divorce which I initiated because I got tired of the whole situation. I wanted 50/50 custody of our daughter. The wife refused. Was advised by my lawyer that would be a long shot. Even if I tried, I would have put myself into financial ruin as the way the family laws are written, I had to pay for the wife's attorney's fees in addition to mine. So she knew she can wait me out. She ran off with a good chunk of my assets where she's been set up nice and pretty with a fully paid off car, a new career in nursing, a townhouse, and a good start with her retirement account. All courtesy of me. Yes, during the marriage my income is considered 50/50. But I can honestly say that she contributed zero to me earning that money.
BTW, the marriage on paper was only about 6 years. The only saving grace was that I only had to pay alimony for 6 months post divorce. But I did pay about a year and half of it during the separation along with child support.
Until family law changes where it doesn't give all the benefit and incentive to the woman in a divorce, I don't know why any male would consider marriage.
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I am honestly truly sorry you had to go thru all that. Nobody should go thru cancer without love and support from their spouse. I just hope your daughter grows up to realize everything and understands the divorce. Last thing you want is your daughter hating you because of lies your ex-wife feeds her. Please stay close to your daughter and be the father she deserves. Im sure all this has made you a stronger person.