[ASAP]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

It sucks pretty bad.

More than ever online dating is a shit show. People want to talk forever but never meet up in person... so what's the point? My time is valuable, so I'm not going to waste all day texting someone who never has plans to meet up. Going out isn't really an option, and dating at work is basically grounds for being fired, so my options since the pandemic have been quite limited.

It's lonely. I'm a very social person, grew up playing sports, lots of my friends lived close by, and I have a large extended family. Now I see family only once in a while, same with friends. The extent of hanging out with friends has been mostly my car friends working on cars in our garages and grabbing some lunch. Even that is a pain because it's so damn cold. It seems like in New England at least everyone has turned into even more of a hermit than they were before.

This is exactly true... whether it be bumble, tinder or whatever... all these dumb women just want to talk and never meet... i don't get it. Or you chat for days and they disappear... like don't waste time... if you want to chat, there are a million other places for that.

[ewicky]

I've been quite successful during COVID. My now-ex broke up with me in the first half of 2020 "because my white silence is violence". If that's how you really feel about me, then goodbye.

Since then, I've become closer to the friends I like and grown apart from the friends I don't like. When I put it that way, it sounds obvious. But for some reason, before COVID I had grown into social circles that I honestly didn't identify well with.

I've gone on a several dates and keep having more. I've figured out that if they won't hangout with me, then I don't wanna hangout with them either. I view it as they've got their head far up their ass. They obviously view it differently. But, it's an easy way to filter out people that aren't compatible.

[Mosaud1998]

By staying single

[joooiiiiii]

I like this thread--shows that I'm not alone in this. Therapists are definitely going to be busy after this is all over. I live alone and the only social interaction I might get is going to work or the grocery store, etc.

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by joooiiiiii

Seriously, dating life is non-existent for me. Have been in Germany since June and the lockdown hardened in October/November so basically just been at work and home. No bars, clubs, restaurants, etc. NOTHING. I can't wait to get back to normal, it was easier in the beginning but the longer it goes, the closings and reopenings and reclosings over and over, it got harder. It's so depressing right now. I'm ready for this shit to end.

This.

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by ASAP

This is exactly true... whether it be bumble, tinder or whatever... all these dumb women just want to talk and never meet... i don't get it. Or you chat for days and they disappear... like don't waste time... if you want to chat, there are a million other places for that.

Are these 'Pay for Play' sites? Because if they are, you may have to face the reality that someone is getting paid to keep you on-line. They might post a pretty picture supposedly of themselves, season the bio with some interesting attributes, set the hook and reel you in. When the conversation gets too serious or they have to prove who they are, then it's " Sorry, gotta go!"...Next....

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by joooiiiiii

I like this thread--shows that I'm not alone in this. Therapists are definitely going to be busy after this is all over. I live alone and the only social interaction I might get is going to work or the grocery store, etc.

I have to say, when this all started I really thought suicide numbers were going to be astronomical. I kind of thought people being locked up in their houses were going to drive people off the side of bridges

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Are these 'Pay for Play' sites? Because if they are, you may have to face the reality that someone is getting paid to keep you on-line. They might post a pretty picture supposedly of themselves, season the bio with some interesting attributes, set the hook and reel you in. When the conversation gets too serious or they have to prove who they are, then it's " Sorry, gotta go!"...Next....

Nah, I doubt it's that, although I'm sure that exists. For me it's definitely fear related to the pandemic. I get numbers usually pretty quickly, so it's all through text. Sometimes I'll even video chat not long after getting their number, I never really use the app itself for a few messages back and forth.

There are a ton of women who literally put in their profiles "don't match if you plan on actually meeting up in person during a pandemic".

I've also had someone comment on how I wasn't wearing masks in any of my pics. Like are you fucking serious? Why the hell would I wear one in pictures where you want to see my face? I have a feeling it's just my age range and the location that is influencing this.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

Are these 'Pay for Play' sites? Because if they are, you may have to face the reality that someone is getting paid to keep you on-line. They might post a pretty picture supposedly of themselves, season the bio with some interesting attributes, set the hook and reel you in. When the conversation gets too serious or they have to prove who they are, then it's " Sorry, gotta go!"...Next....

I would think if anyone is paying to use any of these sites that they have skin in the game versus the free sites. I also only use two of the reputable sites where there doesn't seem to be any shadiness. I've had profiles that have reached out to me that were removed due to activity the site owners picked up on. Don't know many people who would be willing to just flush money down the toilet to just play around to get their jollies. Have I run into some flakey individuals. Yes. But that'll happen in any other situation too. What I've experienced is many times a woman would reach out via a like or smile, I respond in kind and don't get anything after. I move on. One kept bringing up politics and takes it more seriously than I do. Fortunately, many of the women that do make politics a central part of their life has done me a favor and placed this in their profiles. It saves me not wasting my time on them. The ones where there has been conversation have mostly resulted in real life meetings. A couple transitioned to communicating via phone text messaging but didn't result in a in person meeting. Since starting online dating in November, I've met up with 9 women in person with 4 of them resulting in multiple dates.

All of the above is with me not really putting a lot of work into this. From this thread and the big dating thread, it's obvious there seems to be some preconceived notion of online dating. I had it until I decided to try it with an open mind. I also picked up some pointers as to how to approach online dating from various sources. I have to say my online dating experience has been pretty positive as the lady I've been seeing lately has been progressing nicely. We've gone on 4 dates and are getting together again for Valentine's.

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Nah, I doubt it's that, although I'm sure that exists.

The reason I asked, is you see dating sites on TV advertising" Start you free week-end now...etc."

So of course, my little wheels were turning, assuming you had to pay some sort of fee or membership afterward. Attachment 2527235

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by ASAP

This is exactly true... whether it be bumble, tinder or whatever... all these dumb women just want to talk and never meet... i don't get it. Or you chat for days and they disappear... like don't waste time... if you want to chat, there are a million other places for that.

Yup. Or lots of scam profiles: usually ask for email to use on Hangouts or download an app to continue chatting. I don’t take things personal anymore and don’t put any serious effort into online dating. I’m old school and prefer to meet people in person. If it works out then it works out. Otherwise, I’m perfectly content being single. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Every now and then everyone feels a bit lonely but that’s normal.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

The reason I asked, is you see dating sites on TV advertising" Start you free week-end now...etc."

So of course, my little wheels were tuning, assuming you had to pay some sort of fee or membership afterward. Attachment 2527235

Those are probably a TRAP.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by BMW F22

Yup. Or lots of scam profiles: usually ask for email to use on Hangouts or download an app to continue chatting. I don’t take things personal anymore and don’t put any serious effort into online dating. I’m old school and prefer to meet people in person. If it works out then it works out. Otherwise, I’m perfectly content being single. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Every now and then everyone feels a bit lonely but that’s normal.

Agreed. I was on Tinder for a bit but deleted it for these reasons:

1. Way too many spam profiles, I'd say close to 25% were fake at least in my area

2. Way too many couples

3. Lots of people who are just looking for validation

4. People who want a text/pen pal only until the end of time


#3 and 4 are of course present on other sites, but 1 & 2 not as much. I'm wondering if a lot of my experience has to do with my age and my location.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Agreed. I was on Tinder for a bit but deleted it for these reasons:

1. Way too many spam profiles, I'd say close to 25% were fake at least in my area

2. Way too many couples

3. Lots of people who are just looking for validation

4. People who want a text/pen pal only until the end of time


#3 and 4 are of course present on other sites, but 1 & 2 not as much.

What do you mean "couples"? Like people looking for threesome? Wouldn't have thought that would be super prevalent.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

What do you mean "couples"? Like people looking for threesome? Wouldn't have thought that would be super prevalent.

Yes, couples looking for a third, or other couples. I'd say 1/20 profiles were couples.

The spam ones are usually easy to spot. They are mostly profiles with 1 picture of an instagram model, and some watermark in the bottom of the picture with a company or profile name, or they list a snapchat profile. Most real women won't list their snap in their profile for obvious reasons.

[MaximusJ]

I used to be single for most of 2020. Met someone in november but before that I thought that it was quite easy to get a date. People are lonely and are easily willing to see if that could change.

I would take walks with them at first; to see if a real date could happen; if not, at least that was only 1h of wasted time and $0. If the first one is promissing, then I would invite them over outside in my backyard; where we could eat / have drinks while keeping safe distances. And after making sure that this person is safe (not taking any unnecessary risks) and if the interest is mutual, i'd start dating her officially.

Opposed to many opinions here, I found it actually a lot easier to get a date in 2020 than any other years. (I've been single/dating for 3 years now, but just got serious about it recently). Having a first in person contact is super easy. I feel that lonely people usually have friends and families to cope with the loneliness. But now that this is a no go, for most; I felt that the women I was talking to were a little more open to first contacts.

Or maybe I've just been lucky.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Agreed. I was on Tinder for a bit but deleted it for these reasons:

1. Way too many spam profiles, I'd say close to 25% were fake at least in my area

2. Way too many couples

3. Lots of people who are just looking for validation

4. People who want a text/pen pal only until the end of time


#3 and 4 are of course present on other sites, but 1 & 2 not as much. I'm wondering if a lot of my experience has to do with my age and my location.

Nothing more needs to be said about your experience on Tinder. I've never been on it but have heard enough to know not to waste my time on there. You said there are other sites you've tried. Which ones? Of your list of 4, I can say maybe #3 could be applied to one or two I've had contact with. Certainly none of the other 3.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

Nothing more needs to be said about your experience on Tinder. I've never been on it but have heard enough to know not to waste my time on there. You said there are other sites you've tried. Which ones? Of your list of 4, I can say maybe #3 could be applied to one or two I've had contact with. Certainly none of the other 3.

Currently on Hinge and Bumble. I've texted, called, and done video chats several times with women, but they always seem to be afraid to meet up in person. I did manage to go for a walk with someone, but it was cold as shit. This was never the case before the pandemic, I could usually meet up within the week or two with them. I even had one get really upset with me for breaking things off because she didn't want to meet up. I mean how long am I supposed to wait?

What sites do you suggest?

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Currently on Hinge and Bumble. I've texted, called, and done video chats several times with women, but they always seem to be afraid to meet up in person. I did manage to go for a walk with someone, but it was cold as shit. This was never the case before the pandemic, I could usually meet up within the week or two with them. I even had one get really upset with me for breaking things off because she didn't want to meet up. I mean how long am I supposed to wait?

What sites do you suggest?

I'm on eHarmony and Match. With my experience, I would recommend Match. I've had the most women reach out to me on Match than eHarmony. Both will give you the chance to try the site for free but you're extremely limited as to what you can do. At least Match gives you options to sign up such as a one month and 6 month option. eHarmony forces you to sign up for a year. Match is also much cheaper than eHarmony.

While I've had some quality connections on eHarmony, the ones that seem to work out better for me are the ones on Match. The ones that I've gone on multiple dates with are from Match. The lady I mentioned in my reply above that I'm having a Valentine's date with is from Match. If there is a connection via IMs and video chat, I found that none of them are opposed to meeting up in person. I had one lady meet me out in the boonies at a marina which didn't have much going on around to go riding on one of my motorcycles. I mentioned this to a female friend I was out sailing with that day with other friends and she said this lady is crazy meeting up with me for the first time under these conditions. She said she knows I'm not that type of guy but she said this lady doesn't really know that. When the date showed up, I mentioned what my friend said about her coming out to see me. She laughed and said it is kind of crazy for her to meet me this way.

One other thing Match does that eHarmony doesn't do is to have socials. I suspect there would be more non Covid but they have put out a few socials for people to get together. One was an axe throwing thing. Another was bowling I think. I seem to recall a hiking event.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by zx10guy

I'm on eHarmony and Match. With my experience, I would recommend Match. I've had the most women reach out to me on Match than eHarmony. Both will give you the chance to try the site for free but you're extremely limited as to what you can do. At least Match gives you options to sign up such as a one month and 6 month option. eHarmony forces you to sign up for a year. Match is also much cheaper than eHarmony.

While I've had some quality connections on eHarmony, the ones that seem to work out better for me are the ones on Match. The ones that I've gone on multiple dates with are from Match. The lady I mentioned in my reply above that I'm having a Valentine's date with is from Match. If there is a connection via IMs and video chat, I found that none of them are opposed to meeting up in person. I had one lady meet me out in the boonies at a marina which didn't have much going on around to go riding on one of my motorcycles. I mentioned this to a female friend I was out sailing with that day with other friends and she said this lady is crazy meeting up with me for the first time under these conditions. She said she knows I'm not that type of guy but she said this lady doesn't really know that. When the date showed up, I mentioned what my friend said about her coming out to see me. She laughed and said it is kind of crazy for her to meet me this way.

One other thing Match does that eHarmony doesn't do is to have socials. I suspect there would be more non Covid but they have put out a few socials for people to get together. One was an axe throwing thing. Another was bowling I think. I seem to recall a hiking event.

I made my buddies MATCH profile and he ended up marrying the girl. Doesn't that mean she actually wanted MEEEEEE?
Can't wait to use that line at his wedding in my best mans speech

[Alfisti]

Yeah i'd avoid that, could get messy

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by TommyG-inFlaNow

My wife and I were very social. Out to dinner every weekend multiple times, traveling on weekends (no kids helps)
-then quarantine
In Florida we have been pretty much allowed to do what we want but the whole experience has changed. Its not enjoyable going out to eat and having some guy sweating in a mask and keep pulling it up over his nose every minute while telling you about the Beef Wellington.

I have personally become such an introvert hermit. I have no desire to go places, or dine out except for day drinking on the weekends on the beach or water.
It really blows my mind how functionally depressed I have become. I can't imagine what young single people or older widows etc are even feeling. I actually enjoy going to work because that has been routine

Dude same, it's not even that I'm ""covid conscious"", I just don't want to deal with getting yelled at. Moving to California has made it better though, I had a neighbor hop in the same elevator (the one I was waiting without a mask before they came), and they informed me that they see dead people at work daily and that I should believe in wearing a mask at all times.

Funny how a simple "riiiight. if this was this big an issue for you, you could've waited for the next elevator" shuts them up. /rant

Originally Posted by King Rudi

...These types have come to realize that a relationship isn't worth the headache. They are only looking for intelligent conversation and sex.

I don't blame them, that's being smart about it lol

Originally Posted by ewicky

I've been quite successful during COVID. My now-ex broke up with me in the first half of 2020 "because my white silence is violence". If that's how you really feel about me, then goodbye.

Since then, I've become closer to the friends I like and grown apart from the friends I don't like. When I put it that way, it sounds obvious. But for some reason, before COVID I had grown into social circles that I honestly didn't identify well with.

I've gone on a several dates and keep having more. I've figured out that if they won't hangout with me, then I don't wanna hangout with them either. I view it as they've got their head far up their ass. They obviously view it differently. But, it's an easy way to filter out people that aren't compatible.

similar thing happened to me and my girlfriend separately, people got extreme over the summer one way or the other. So many "delete me if you don't agree with this" posts on facebook.

One of her friends asked her if I was a trump supporter because I took a picture of the Chicago skyline.

Fun fact: I can't even vote. Gf and her don't talk anymore




Back on topic: 2020 is the first year I didn't wrap up by myself. Somehow got a gf over the summer. March-May was heavy tinder research with me and the boys to get laid, and everyone back then was like "this'll end soon we'll link when its over". Then I had my internship so I barely had time to spend time on random girls, and ran into a girl who ended up being my gf a month or so later. It's great to have someone close to you, and have someone care about you, but I do miss eating what I want when I want.