[Dekansnowman]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

World class head that he may or not remember... For all he knows, he probably got head from...

I came either way. I'm not even made at it.

Originally Posted by Verbiage

Now instead of putting in work, we have to put up with bullshit while putting in work simultaneously due to the digital mask created by the Internet.

Times have changed, but not necessarily for the better. Actually, definitely not for the better.

Truth. I was bamboolzed.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

Now instead of putting in work, we have to put up with bullshit while putting in work simultaneously due to the digital mask created by the Internet.

Times have changed, but not necessarily for the better. Actually, definitely not for the better.

Especially because now everyone has the option to be as picky and choosy as they want at the touch of their fingertips, and taking people at..., face value?


I can't say it's terrible, but it's definitely odd.


Update after yesterday;

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Axius

Especially because now everyone has the option to be as picky and choosy as they want at the touch of their fingertips, and taking people at..., face value?


I can't say it's terrible, but it's definitely odd.


Update after yesterday;

Then cancel the second date and dump dat ho and go alone to Starbucks for Frappacino?

[Axius]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Then cancel the second date and dump dat ho and go alone to Starbucks for Frappacino?

"Sorry, I'm going to have to cancel again, going to the shooting range again..., oh shit..., I mean my cat died."

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by Axius

Especially because now everyone has the option to be as picky and choosy as they want at the touch of their fingertips, and taking people at..., face value?


I can't say it's terrible, but it's definitely odd.


Update after yesterday;

Is this the same girl you posted a picture of, I think it was this thread, no?


Did she actually volunteer movies or that was predetermined? That sounds nice!


Cherice, pretty name.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Axius

"Sorry, I'm going to have to cancel again, going to the shooting range again..., oh shit..., I mean my cat died."

Cat dies AT the shooting range? Coincidence? I think not. (Hey, those little paper dudes get pricey.)

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

Is this the same girl you posted a picture of, I think it was this thread, no?
...
Cherice, pretty name.

Why you assume Chrice is the black chick, yo? You racist bro? There is probably 1 white girl named Cherice ... Somehwere. Maybe.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

Is this the same girl you posted a picture of, I think it was this thread, no?


Did she actually volunteer movies or that was predetermined? That sounds nice!


Cherice, pretty name.

Yeah same girl. She actually suggested it, so I was like, shit, why not.


Hopefully she doesn't murder me.

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Cat dies AT the shooting range? Coincidence? I think not. (Hey, those little paper dudes get pricey.)

I mean, it would be harder to hit compared to the paper guy that just stands there and takes it...

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Why you assume Chrice is the black chick, yo? You racist bro? There is probably 1 white girl named Cherice ... Somehwere. Maybe.

You know what's interesting, that was EXACTLY what I was thinking. Maybe if it was spelled "Amber", or something.

Originally Posted by Axius

Yeah same girl. She actually suggested it, so I was like, shit, why not.


Hopefully she doesn't murder me.

She seems nice. But if she does, Sara will be all like, "that's what he gets for picking the big-nosed girl".

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

She seems nice. But if she does, Sara will be all like, "that's what he gets for picking the big-nosed girl".

Yeah if she seemed off at all, it'd set the alarm off, but everythings been cool so far, so why not.


Pffft, you think I care what Sara thinks? I only care what everybody else thinks.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Axius

Yeah if she seemed off at all, it'd set the alarm off, but everythings been cool so far, so why not.


Pffft, you think I care what Sara thinks? I only care what everybody else thinks.

Cool dude. Expect a full report. Taking her to the range should be fun. Always good to work on grip and stance before retiring for the evening.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Cool dude. Expect a full report. Taking her to the range should be fun. Always good to work on grip and stance before retiring for the evening.

Figured it was something I do anyways, might as well bring her along. Hopefully I don't get shot, but if I do..., someone needs to come take care of my guinea pig, Charles Winston.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by Axius

Yeah if she seemed off at all, it'd set the alarm off, but everythings been cool so far, so why not.


Pffft, you think I care what Sara thinks? I only care what everybody else thinks.

If anything happens to you, please will me all of your cool things because your friends are older and have less time to enjoy them than I do.


EDIT: guinea pig before all.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

If anything happens to you, please will me all of your cool things because your friends are older and have less time to enjoy them than I do.


EDIT: guinea pig before all.

You're gonna have to fight some people for my belongings to the death..., that's what's in my will. A fight to the death gladiator style, winner gets my stuff.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by Axius

You're gonna have to fight some people for my belongings to the death..., that's what's in my will. A fight to the death gladiator style, winner gets my stuff.

Shouldn't be a problem.

[lens]

Originally Posted by Axius

Especially because now everyone has the option to be as picky and choosy as they want at the touch of their fingertips, and taking people at..., face value?


I can't say it's terrible, but it's definitely odd.


Update after yesterday;

Come over for movies?

I've seen this before and I know this means netflix and chill.

No joke. When I ask or a girl says she can come over for movies, 95% of the time she's DTF. The last 4/5 girls that I somehow managed to match with on tinder all were.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by chaungo

Come over for movies?

I've seen this before and I know this means netflix and chill.

No joke. When I ask or a girl says she can come over for movies, 95% of the time she's DTF. The last 4/5 girls that I somehow managed to match with on tinder all were.

Our conversations have been pretty vivacious, it's going down.

[theriz]

Just read all 23 pages.. Best thread on Bimmerpost.

[inde60x]

I'll contribute since I'm bored at work on a Saturday babysitting my team...

Going through my divorce about 5 years ago after spending 7 years with someone who enjoyed other guys more than me, I realized it was a whole new world out there in the dating/strange game. When my ex and I met, Facebook was still TheFacebook in its beginning stages. Having a house to myself, an account full of money that had to be spent since the balance would be transferred to her the day the divorce was final, I found myself enjoying life and helping my friends enjoy their lives a little more every night of the week.

After 2 solid weeks of gentlemen's establishments and realizing once a table is saved reserved for you at these establishments and you're texting the "future nurses and accountants" on your way to see if they're working means you're now a regular, I decided on a quiet night at home surfing the ever-changing tides of PlentyOfFish. I sent out the Ctrl-C -> Ctrl-V message to bait the line. No judgement, we've all done it. I had a few hits from women around the area and one had 3 or 4 pictures of the "Mask My Body" configuration but at this point I hadn't learned that trick yet but looked doable for the evening.

I reached back out to, let's call her Ford Girl, to learn a little more about her but more along the lines of let her know my intentions were simply few minutes of awkward small talk, bang or bj, and her gone before I finished washing my hands. I was already a few drinks in and she lived about 20 minutes away so I figured if she were to come, I'd have time for 1 or 2 more and I may regret it if I saw her again sometime but hopefully I wouldn't recognize her. After she told me about herself for a little bit, she had an older Ford F150, she drank and smoked, and liked fishing, I quickly found myself questioning myself since I'm from the city and used to materialism and not so much country. Note, I was living in a town of 5000 people with a larger town of about 50,000 approximately 15-20 minutes away and the area was VERY redneck and backwoods. Remembering this portion, I thought it couldn't be that bad and she's just a towny so go with it.

After texting back and forth for about 30 minutes, I told her she should come up and let's have some sexy time. She delightfully agreed and told me to she needed to clean up a bit and she would be on her way. I took her comment and figured I could at least pick up my house a little and picked up the beer bottles from the past few days and changed the sheets on the bed so I didn't mess up my nice slippery satin ones in case she liked to get weird, but not too weird.

Some time rolls by and I got to enjoy my next few drinks and then the feeling started. You know, the one that comes from down below your intestines and back up your throat that's just telling you you need to run and you don't know why. And then I hear a beat up truck coming through town and immediately think to myself that I'm beyond ready to move out of the area and back to a place my IS300 was appreciated, or at least not seen as a "ricer." And the truck continues to get louder and louder and then the level plateaus, and I can tell it's in front of my house. I look out the window and sure enough, a rusted out mid-80s F150 is out front. I chalk it up to the area and unemployment rate and don't let that bother me, I've been with girls that drove worse cars, unfortunately.

I keep sneakily peering out the window hoping and pleading with myself that she at least has a 3 for a face and that he legs were long and skinny like I like 'em. I see her get out of the truck and can't tell if her shadow made her look larger than I pictured or if I, as I know now, saw her picture differently. She comes to the door and I'm getting that nervous/anxious shake when you know you're about to get some good strange.

And then I open the door. My mother raised me right and tried to raise me to keep my face expressionless when in disbelief(in the bad way) and I still hope to this day that I kept my face how I was taught but I'm 99.999% sure I didn't. I had Large Marge, like Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure Large Marge, standing on my front step about 50 years younger. Large and in charge! She steps in my house and I just cringe wondering how I'm going to get out of this mess I got myself into. Granted this was the first 1-hourer I'd had from a dating app so I was also hoping this wasn't what I could expect the rest of my life. We go and sit in my living room, her first and then I sit across the room on a different couch. I keep watching TV hoping she'll get bored and annoyed and leave on her own. We have some small, VERY awkward, interruptions when she would try to talk but even 5-6 beers in, I couldn't find a part of her I was attracted to that I could use. I tried playing out scenarios in my head of how I would get through it. Normal sex started to come through my mind and I questioned how I would find the right crack since I could tell her rolls made multiple(I like skinny girls). Hit it from the back, NOPE because what if she didn't clean herself out and judging by her version of cleaning up, which was "clean" sweatpants and a hoodie, I didn't trust it. I could go BJ, wait, does she have lice that might jump to my nether regions? Wait, that's not my biggest issue, what is that lump in her lip? Nevermind, I have to figure out how to get out of this.

A few more minutes go by of me racing thoughts through my head and then she tells me she needs to go outside for a second. She opens the door, I get excited she's leaving, steps out leaving the door open and then steps back in. I gave her the questioning look and she tells me "I had to throw out my chew." I all could do was nod, the lump in her lip made more sense, the BJ was definitely crossed off the list as well. She sits back down and I know the look on my face could have been painted better by Picasso to look better because I was in disbelief all around. A few seconds seemed like a few hours and I just muster up the courage, I was afraid she would beat me up honestly, to say "Yeah, this isn't gonna happen. Sorry, have a good night and I'll close the door behind you on your way out." She stood up and told me it wasn't going to happen in her eyes either because I wasn't her type. Now I understand there is differences in people's type but I happily smiled and told her "I understand and that's okay."

Ford Girl hopped in her truck, started it up, and rattled down the street. I went upstairs, put on my best workout shorts, and texted the "future nurses" to see who was working, and headed back to my comfy seat at my new watering hole with 90% naked ladies sitting on my lap wanting to go to IHOP after their shift.

Fast forward over the next 6 months, I gave POF a few more chances. Hooked up with an old college friend/classmate who was a blast, few other randoms, and then met the beautiful lady in my profile picture who is now my wife of 2 years and mother to my 2 week old daughter so I POF redeemed itself for me!

Hope my Saturday "work" finds you all well!

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by inde60x

I'll contribute since I'm bored at work on a Saturday babysitting my team...

<redacted for brevity>

Hope my Saturday "work" finds you all well!

I give this story 5 stars. Would read again.

[inde60x]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

I give this story 5 stars. Would read again.

Thank you...it's one of my multiple, "only happens to me," stories from a great 6 month timespan. Congrats to you on the M2 order!!! Envious all around!

[Mike.]

Originally Posted by inde60x

I'll contribute since I'm bored at work on a Saturday babysitting my team...

Going through my divorce about 5 years ago after spending 7 years with someone who enjoyed other guys more than me, I realized it was a whole new world out there in the dating/strange game. When my ex and I met, Facebook was still TheFacebook in its beginning stages. Having a house to myself, an account full of money that had to be spent since the balance would be transferred to her the day the divorce was final, I found myself enjoying life and helping my friends enjoy their lives a little more every night of the week.

After 2 solid weeks of gentlemen's establishments and realizing once a table is saved reserved for you at these establishments and you're texting the "future nurses and accountants" on your way to see if they're working means you're now a regular, I decided on a quiet night at home surfing the ever-changing tides of PlentyOfFish. I sent out the Ctrl-C -> Ctrl-V message to bait the line. No judgement, we've all done it. I had a few hits from women around the area and one had 3 or 4 pictures of the "Mask My Body" configuration but at this point I hadn't learned that trick yet but looked doable for the evening.

I reached back out to, let's call her Ford Girl, to learn a little more about her but more along the lines of let her know my intentions were simply few minutes of awkward small talk, bang or bj, and her gone before I finished washing my hands. I was already a few drinks in and she lived about 20 minutes away so I figured if she were to come, I'd have time for 1 or 2 more and I may regret it if I saw her again sometime but hopefully I wouldn't recognize her. After she told me about herself for a little bit, she had an older Ford F150, she drank and smoked, and liked fishing, I quickly found myself questioning myself since I'm from the city and used to materialism and not so much country. Note, I was living in a town of 5000 people with a larger town of about 50,000 approximately 15-20 minutes away and the area was VERY redneck and backwoods. Remembering this portion, I thought it couldn't be that bad and she's just a towny so go with it.

After texting back and forth for about 30 minutes, I told her she should come up and let's have some sexy time. She delightfully agreed and told me to she needed to clean up a bit and she would be on her way. I took her comment and figured I could at least pick up my house a little and picked up the beer bottles from the past few days and changed the sheets on the bed so I didn't mess up my nice slippery satin ones in case she liked to get weird, but not too weird.

Some time rolls by and I got to enjoy my next few drinks and then the feeling started. You know, the one that comes from down below your intestines and back up your throat that's just telling you you need to run and you don't know why. And then I hear a beat up truck coming through town and immediately think to myself that I'm beyond ready to move out of the area and back to a place my IS300 was appreciated, or at least not seen as a "ricer." And the truck continues to get louder and louder and then the level plateaus, and I can tell it's in front of my house. I look out the window and sure enough, a rusted out mid-80s F150 is out front. I chalk it up to the area and unemployment rate and don't let that bother me, I've been with girls that drove worse cars, unfortunately.

I keep sneakily peering out the window hoping and pleading with myself that she at least has a 3 for a face and that he legs were long and skinny like I like 'em. I see her get out of the truck and can't tell if her shadow made her look larger than I pictured or if I, as I know now, saw her picture differently. She comes to the door and I'm getting that nervous/anxious shake when you know you're about to get some good strange.

And then I open the door. My mother raised me right and tried to raise me to keep my face expressionless when in disbelief(in the bad way) and I still hope to this day that I kept my face how I was taught but I'm 99.999% sure I didn't. I had Large Marge, like Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure Large Marge, standing on my front step about 50 years younger. Large and in charge! She steps in my house and I just cringe wondering how I'm going to get out of this mess I got myself into. Granted this was the first 1-hourer I'd had from a dating app so I was also hoping this wasn't what I could expect the rest of my life. We go and sit in my living room, her first and then I sit across the room on a different couch. I keep watching TV hoping she'll get bored and annoyed and leave on her own. We have some small, VERY awkward, interruptions when she would try to talk but even 5-6 beers in, I couldn't find a part of her I was attracted to that I could use. I tried playing out scenarios in my head of how I would get through it. Normal sex started to come through my mind and I questioned how I would find the right crack since I could tell her rolls made multiple(I like skinny girls). Hit it from the back, NOPE because what if she didn't clean herself out and judging by her version of cleaning up, which was "clean" sweatpants and a hoodie, I didn't trust it. I could go BJ, wait, does she have lice that might jump to my nether regions? Wait, that's not my biggest issue, what is that lump in her lip? Nevermind, I have to figure out how to get out of this.

A few more minutes go by of me racing thoughts through my head and then she tells me she needs to go outside for a second. She opens the door, I get excited she's leaving, steps out leaving the door open and then steps back in. I gave her the questioning look and she tells me "I had to throw out my chew." I all could do was nod, the lump in her lip made more sense, the BJ was definitely crossed off the list as well. She sits back down and I know the look on my face could have been painted better by Picasso to look better because I was in disbelief all around. A few seconds seemed like a few hours and I just muster up the courage, I was afraid she would beat me up honestly, to say "Yeah, this isn't gonna happen. Sorry, have a good night and I'll close the door behind you on your way out." She stood up and told me it wasn't going to happen in her eyes either because I wasn't her type. Now I understand there is differences in people's type but I happily smiled and told her "I understand and that's okay."

Ford Girl hopped in her truck, started it up, and rattled down the street. I went upstairs, put on my best workout shorts, and texted the "future nurses" to see who was working, and headed back to my comfy seat at my new watering hole with 90% naked ladies sitting on my lap wanting to go to IHOP after their shift.

Fast forward over the next 6 months, I gave POF a few more chances. Hooked up with an old college friend/classmate who was a blast, few other randoms, and then met the beautiful lady in my profile picture who is now my wife of 2 years and mother to my 2 week old daughter so I POF redeemed itself for me!

Hope my Saturday "work" finds you all well!

If you didnt go through those scenarios you could have fucked up your resume beyond repair. Well done.

OK guys- update on the teacher:

"I dont mind jizz"

I look good naked"

" I have a magnificent ass, great boobs too"

Ok so, other than that...I've been extremely respectful and not pushing the envelope because she's pretty rad and she is also very rich....but doesnt seem entitled, it throws me off. I can only deal with entitled girls!!! The quotes that I live by while dating by DO NOTHING HERE.

Oh well, sorry I have not been active here. Maybe you'll get some drunk posts later...anyone watching the fight?

OH AND ONE LAST THING...sorry Im so scatter brained at the moment. This chick whom I matched with like 3 months ago randomly hits me up and asks if I could fuck her while her bf is out for (3) hours. Im not trying to play no "trapped in the closet" shit..