BMW M5 Forum

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      05-10-2021, 02:08 PM   #5259
Joekerr
Banned
7922
Rep
1,923
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
What if I....er, HE stands on the seat of said toilet?
I think that would require pushing it down so far to get the correct angle that I fear that you...er HE might get the stretch marks that 2one3E90 has gotten.
Appreciate 1
King Rudi13072.00
      05-10-2021, 02:37 PM   #5260
EME_Bounce
New Member
85
Rep
7
Posts

Drives: 2021 X30e
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Earth

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
We have 2 boys and so does my sister in law. They teach theirs to pee standing up and I am hardcore against it. Men are being emasculated enough as is, they are born to stand peeing, don't make them beta males.
Could you re-read this and get back to us with an edit?
Appreciate 4
King Rudi13072.00
Buug95923495.50
TiMSport12848.50
      05-10-2021, 02:44 PM   #5261
King Rudi
Lieutenant Colonel
King Rudi's Avatar
13072
Rep
1,965
Posts

Drives: Meat Suit
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Planet Earth

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by EME_Bounce View Post
Could you re-read this and get back to us with an edit?
Glad I'm not the only one.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmg View Post
We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
Appreciate 3
Buug95923495.50
Dpc2u11490.50
      05-10-2021, 02:50 PM   #5262
Littlebear
Banned
United_States
3521
Rep
2,044
Posts

Drives: ...the Mods crazy.
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Not here, apparently....

iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
We have 2 boys and so does my sister in law. They teach theirs to pee standing up and I am hardcore against it. Men are being emasculated enough as is, they are born to stand peeing, don't make them beta males.
I've heard that in Germany it is kosher for men to sit when peeing at night. Germans are a clean people.
Appreciate 0
      05-10-2021, 02:55 PM   #5263
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
7552
Rep
11,936
Posts

Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [9.25]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
We have 2 boys and so does my sister in law. They teach theirs to pee standing up and I am hardcore against it. Men are being emasculated enough as is, they are born to stand peeing, don't make them beta males.
Appreciate 2
King Rudi13072.00
      05-10-2021, 02:59 PM   #5264
Esteban
Major General
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
54646
Rep
7,238
Posts

Drives: a slow car fast
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (0)

Time for some pee jokes:

Where is the best place to go pee? IP Address

I saw a sign today that made me pee myself. It said, "TOILETS CLOSED."

Do you know why women fart after they pee? They can't shake it so they need to blow dry.

Yes, I looked them up. lol

And yes, they're dumb, I know.
Appreciate 7
upstatedoc7534.50
Buug95923495.50
King Rudi13072.00
Littlebear3520.50
Dpc2u11490.50
Dang3r12481.50
      05-10-2021, 03:03 PM   #5265
Joekerr
Banned
7922
Rep
1,923
Posts

Drives: 2017 Audi S6
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, ON

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlebear View Post
I've heard that in Germany it is kosher for men to sit when peeing at night. Germans are a clean people.
I definitely sit in the wee hours of the morning while taking a piss. At that point, I'm not interested in keeping my eyes open for any longer than is absolutely necessary to successfully navigate my way to the toilet without stubbing a toe.
Appreciate 2
Buug95923495.50
King Rudi13072.00
      05-10-2021, 03:07 PM   #5266
Sedan_Clan
Law Enforcer
Sedan_Clan's Avatar
Brazil
27038
Rep
22,718
Posts

Drives: '22 Chalk Gray Porsche C2S
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ..in your rearview!!!

iTrader: (26)

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
She answered the door is this nightgown that barely covered her buns, and she clearly had nothing on under it. Yeah.....hard to stay focused with a body like she has; nice face too.
Does she have stretch marks on her penis too?
I do. I had a major phallic growth spurt. #BPM
Appreciate 2
Buug95923495.50
King Rudi13072.00
      05-10-2021, 03:08 PM   #5267
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7535
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Is the sitting while peeing a Canadian thing? Isn't Alfisti Canadian to?
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
      05-10-2021, 03:12 PM   #5268
EME_Bounce
New Member
85
Rep
7
Posts

Drives: 2021 X30e
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Earth

iTrader: (0)

Confession:

A few years back, as an adult, I went back home for Christmas vacation. We had a lot of beverages before bed and I got up a few times to drain the main vein.

In the morning over breakfast my mom said, "I noticed you boys still don't turn on the lights when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Why don't you turn the lights on and how do you see to hit the toilet?"

I said, "you just pee until you hear it hitting the water, then you know you're on target".

Her face was priceless with the realization of cleaning up years of pee.

My other brother said a moment later, "I just go in the sink".

My poor mom had 3 of us.
Appreciate 9
nyalpine907551.50
upstatedoc7534.50
Buug95923495.50
King Rudi13072.00
Esteban54645.50
Dang3r12481.50
      05-10-2021, 03:13 PM   #5269
TiMSport
Banned
Ukraine
12849
Rep
2,983
Posts

Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
Is the sitting while peeing a Canadian thing? Isn't Alfisti Canadian to?
Lol, that would be the first I've heard of such a thing.
Appreciate 0
      05-10-2021, 03:42 PM   #5270
King Rudi
Lieutenant Colonel
King Rudi's Avatar
13072
Rep
1,965
Posts

Drives: Meat Suit
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Planet Earth

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
I definitely sit in the wee hours of the morning while taking a piss. At that point, I'm not interested in keeping my eyes open for any longer than is absolutely necessary to successfully navigate my way to the toilet without stubbing a toe.
Had to learn to Superman that first go in the morn; especially if the night before was riddled with alcohol. I found sitting down, in the dark, in the wee hours (pun intended), lead to a quick relapse of sleep culminating in being woke up by falling off the toilet into the floor. It only happened once, but it won't happen again.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmg View Post
We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
Appreciate 3
Joekerr7921.50
TiMSport12848.50
      05-10-2021, 06:39 PM   #5271
2one3E90
Lieutenant Colonel
2one3E90's Avatar
2425
Rep
1,774
Posts

Drives: Bmw 330i and Bmw 328i
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: Los Angeles

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2010 BMW 328i  [10.00]
2004 BMW Z4   [9.67]
2006 BMW 330i  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2one3E90 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I saw a hot meth-head. True story! She had a killer derrière!!!! I know, I know. She was a unicorn among meth-heads. #wouldyoudoitthough?!?
If your a cop wouldnt you have a like dirty thoughts like arresting her then tryna find something on her then punishing her urself instead of booking her in
She kinda hit on me the other night when my partner and I responded to her residence. I had contacted her prior, but I didn't recognize her as easily with her hair shorter. She recognized me though, and then it all came back. She answered the door is this nightgown that barely covered her buns, and she clearly had nothing on under it. Yeah.....hard to stay focused with a body like she has; nice face too.
Scary. what u guys go thru. Doesnt it smell gross the crack meth people?
Appreciate 0
      05-10-2021, 06:40 PM   #5272
2one3E90
Lieutenant Colonel
2one3E90's Avatar
2425
Rep
1,774
Posts

Drives: Bmw 330i and Bmw 328i
Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: Los Angeles

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2010 BMW 328i  [10.00]
2004 BMW Z4   [9.67]
2006 BMW 330i  [10.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by eme_bounce View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by alfisti View Post
we have 2 boys and so does my sister in law. They teach theirs to pee standing up and i am hardcore against it. Men are being emasculated enough as is, they are born to stand peeing, don't make them beta males.
could you re-read this and get back to us with an edit?
hahaha i know some beta males.
Appreciate 0
      05-10-2021, 06:44 PM   #5273
Sedan_Clan
Law Enforcer
Sedan_Clan's Avatar
Brazil
27038
Rep
22,718
Posts

Drives: '22 Chalk Gray Porsche C2S
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ..in your rearview!!!

iTrader: (26)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2one3E90 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2one3E90 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
I saw a hot meth-head. True story! She had a killer derrière!!!! I know, I know. She was a unicorn among meth-heads. #wouldyoudoitthough?!?
If your a cop wouldnt you have a like dirty thoughts like arresting her then tryna find something on her then punishing her urself instead of booking her in
She kinda hit on me the other night when my partner and I responded to her residence. I had contacted her prior, but I didn't recognize her as easily with her hair shorter. She recognized me though, and then it all came back. She answered the door is this nightgown that barely covered her buns, and she clearly had nothing on under it. Yeah.....hard to stay focused with a body like she has; nice face too.
Scary. what u guys go thru. Doesnt it smell gross the crack meth people?
Once they are far gone, yeah......but, part of that comes from them being homeless much of the time.
Appreciate 0
      05-10-2021, 08:20 PM   #5274
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11820
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

Whats with dudes that pee with their hand or hands on the wall. Just general germs and now covid why touch anything in a public bathroom.
Appreciate 0
      05-10-2021, 08:29 PM   #5275
Darth One
drunk poster
Darth One's Avatar
United_States
6611
Rep
3,649
Posts

Drives: M4 GTS | E46 M3
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

It’s for balance and leverage. This is one of those times when the job demands it...just like when you’re playing on the line or at running back
Appreciate 1
King Rudi13072.00
      05-10-2021, 09:06 PM   #5276
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11820
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

So its for old people who can't stand up on their own?
Appreciate 1
Buug95923495.50
      05-10-2021, 09:27 PM   #5277
Buug959
Captain
Buug959's Avatar
Ukraine
23496
Rep
892
Posts

Drives: 335xi E90, GMC Sierra, VW Golf
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Nova Scotia

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
So its for old people who can't stand up on their own?
Wrong thread.
__________________
Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
Appreciate 1
      05-10-2021, 11:54 PM   #5278
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11820
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

I know but this devolved into men sitting to pee which i can't understand either.
Appreciate 2
Buug95923495.50
      05-11-2021, 12:04 AM   #5279
Sedan_Clan
Law Enforcer
Sedan_Clan's Avatar
Brazil
27038
Rep
22,718
Posts

Drives: '22 Chalk Gray Porsche C2S
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: ..in your rearview!!!

iTrader: (26)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
I know but this devolved into men sitting to pee which i can't understand either.
Only when you're at your side piece's house and you need to act like you're pooping so it gives you enough time to text your main chick.......or vice versa. Back in my player days, I would even put water in the rinse cup and pour it in the toilet to simulate diarrhea, grunts and moans aplenty. I needed that text time.

:
Appreciate 2
2one3E902424.50
      05-11-2021, 03:51 AM   #5280
Dang3r
Schmollbraten
Dang3r's Avatar
Germany
12482
Rep
1,985
Posts

Drives: M4CPC // HP4 Comp.
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Liandri Central Core

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlebear View Post
I've heard that in Germany it is kosher for men to sit when peeing at night. Germans are a clean people.
Has nothing to do with kosher peeing, dude.
Wait until you're peeing as kid standing into the dark and the rapidly closing toilet seat slams your short fuse. Man, had never more pain down there
__________________
Citizen of ///M - Town, where too much is just right

Some say, that my scrotum has its own small gravity field and when Im slowing down that brake lights come on at my buttox
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:09 AM.




m5:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST