[wdb]

I admire you, sorta, for your tenacity. I would have nuked that bridge from space a long time ago.

Change is is good and you are due for a heapin' helpin'.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

Guess I missed the pic

You aren't missing anything. It was stated before that she looks just like Mike Francesa but add a fake tan. That's pretty much it exactly.

Originally Posted by wdb

I admire you, sorta, for your tenacity. I would have nuked that bridge from space a long time ago.

Change is is good and you are due for a heapin' helpin'.

I appreciate that, sorta.

Until recently I haven't had to deal with this particular issue. The money is great here for this area. Change is coming but I think I'm going to stick it out here for at least another 2 years. I started psychological warfare yesterday. Small things that will annoy her, such as changing her email address location on the copier for scanning documents at the bottom of the 6th pages of address links, changing the setting on the scanner to where it scans all of her documents upside down, etc. She has no technical ability, this is going to be fun. The fax machine....yes, she still uses a fax machine, is next. At the end of my 2 year plan, I'll be 100% debt free, house and car are paid off already, both children are graduated and adults, child support ends in 2 months. By spring my paycheck will be 100% mine other than paying taxes and utilities. I'll save money for another year and a half, then sell my house and move to where ever I so chose and start again. All while these people will continue their simple lives and continue to hate life and their job.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I started psychological warfare yesterday. Small things that will annoy her, such as changing her email address location on the copier for scanning documents at the bottom of the 6th pages of address links, changing the setting on the scanner to where it scans all of her documents upside down, etc. She has no technical ability, this is going to be fun. The fax machine....yes, she still uses a fax machine, is next.

I knew there was a reason I liked you - no homo

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

I knew there was a reason I liked you - no homo

I'll post updates as they happen. Considering I am her backup this means I am to fill in when she takes time off. This works in the reverse as well. If I take time off this means that she can't take those days off. I have already requested and have approval on all prime days through December. She really had no clue who she was toying with.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I'll post updates as they happen. Considering I am her backup this means I am to fill in when she takes time off. This works in the reverse as well. If I take time off this means that she can't take those days off. I have already requested and have approval on all prime days through December. She really had no clue who she was toying with.

I don't suppose she uses hand sanitizer / anything for her hands which is clear?

I once replaced the contents (contents, not the bottle itself) of my wife's hand sanitizer / alcohol rub with KY lube. It was extremely entertaining watching her scrub for a minute or two wondering why it wasn't evaporating and then watching the realization sink in.

I'm still uncertain as to why she puts up with me - perhaps it is because I have a reasonable sense of humour and keep her laughing most of the time as I don't actually prank her that often.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I don't suppose she uses hand sanitizer / anything for her hands which is clear?

I once replaced the contents (contents, not the bottle itself) of my wife's hand sanitizer / alcohol rub with KY lube. It was extremely entertaining watching her scrub for a minute or two wondering why it wasn't evaporating and then watching the realization sink in.

I'm still uncertain as to why she puts up with me - perhaps it is because I have a reasonable sense of humour and keep her laughing most of the time as I don't actually prank her that often.

Works fine with spouse, as long as prepared to pay alimony. In a work environment, it takes on a whole different meaning. Especially with KY, sexual connotations/hastag-metoo

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Works fine with spouse, as long as prepared to pay alimony. In a work environment, it takes on a whole different meaning. Especially with KY, sexual connotations/hastag-metoo

Coming from the guy who suggested boiling vinegar as a method of weed control. Why the sudden twinge of conscience?

Party pooper.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I don't suppose she uses hand sanitizer / anything for her hands which is clear?

I once replaced the contents (contents, not the bottle itself) of my wife's hand sanitizer / alcohol rub with KY lube. It was extremely entertaining watching her scrub for a minute or two wondering why it wasn't evaporating and then watching the realization sink in.

I'm still uncertain as to why she puts up with me - perhaps it is because I have a reasonable sense of humour and keep her laughing most of the time as I don't actually prank her that often.

Not sure on the hand sanitizer. I do know that she cuts her fingernails more often than any person should. Thinking I'll bring in a file and dull them up real nice, a hangnail for every finger for would drive me insane.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Works fine with spouse, as long as prepared to pay alimony. In a work environment, it takes on a whole different meaning. Especially with KY, sexual connotations/hastag-metoo

do you mean #(pound) me too?

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

do you mean #(pound) me too?

I was trying to be sure those of us from an older generation didn't get confused. I knew you would catch it!

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Coming from the guy who suggested boiling vinegar as a method of weed control. Why the sudden twinge of conscience?

Party pooper.

Literally, a semi-honest mistake. Remember, I put a ? afterwards, because I wasn't sure. I sometimes enjoy the taste of my foot, at least the left one. I also enjoy mackerel sushi, because it reminds me of the way the deck of a fishing boat tastes/smells.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Literally, a semi-honest mistake. Remember, I put a ? afterwards, because I wasn't sure. I sometimes enjoy the taste of my foot, at least the left one. I also enjoy mackerel sushi, because it reminds me of the way the deck of a fishing boat tastes/smells.

Fine...you are forgiven for ruining my fun.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Fine...you are forgiven for ruining my fun.

IF you choose NOT to walk nekked into the room as your wife squirts her hand sanitizer, don't go blaming your 'Murican uncle. BUTT, remember, I like Judy.

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by wdb

I admire you, sorta, for your tenacity. I would have nuked that bridge from space a long time ago.

Change is is good and you are due for a heapin' helpin'.

No need to use a nuke if you are firing from orbit. The kinetic energy of whatever you send (a rock will work) will do all the work.

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

You aren't missing anything. It was stated before that she looks just like Mike Francesa but add a fake tan. That's pretty much it exactly.



I appreciate that, sorta.

Until recently I haven't had to deal with this particular issue. The money is great here for this area. Change is coming but I think I'm going to stick it out here for at least another 2 years. I started psychological warfare yesterday. Small things that will annoy her, such as changing her email address location on the copier for scanning documents at the bottom of the 6th pages of address links, changing the setting on the scanner to where it scans all of her documents upside down, etc. She has no technical ability, this is going to be fun. The fax machine....yes, she still uses a fax machine, is next. At the end of my 2 year plan, I'll be 100% debt free, house and car are paid off already, both children are graduated and adults, child support ends in 2 months. By spring my paycheck will be 100% mine other than paying taxes and utilities. I'll save money for another year and a half, then sell my house and move to where ever I so chose and start again. All while these people will continue their simple lives and continue to hate life and their job.

Guerrilla warfare. Against a gorilla. I LIKE IT!! Your new name is " I am Che".

[King Rudi]

UPDATE:

This particular employee began her vacation last Friday. Work has been nothing short of a nightmare as the key players in the logistics team are all absent this week due to vacations, surgeries, etc. Also, we have been notified that the plant manager has decided to step down from his position and move back home. The employees that have been the backbone of this company for the past 20 years are abandoning ship at an alarming rate. At this point, I feel like Lord Helmet at the end of Space Balls. I continue to look for gainful employment elsewhere to no avail. I can't help but feel that most of you will read this in a depressing monotone dialogue narration, like sad cats diary. All hope is lost.

::Cue uplifting music:: Come Thursday, the menace of a coworker will be back in the office. She will come in to a nightmare of logistic issues that she did not train me for. To boot, the work that she worked so diligently at training me on....I didn't have to do any of it! She will come back on Thursday and have to take care of all this headache plus do her regularly scheduled duties. She honestly thought she was screwing me over by taking these days off then coming in Thursday and then taking the second half of the day Friday off, when in fact she will be beyond covered up all while I finish designing signage for our shipping yard. Ahhhhhh.....if I could only smoke a cigar and have a nice glass of whiskey whilst perusing these forums.....er......I mean diligently working.

(Side note: if you haven't seen Sad Cat Diary google that shit now.....and enjoy)

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

UPDATE:

This particular employee began her vacation last Friday. Work has been nothing short of a nightmare as the key players in the logistics team are all absent this week due to vacations, surgeries, etc. Also, we have been notified that the plant manager has decided to step down from his position and move back home. The employees that have been the backbone of this company for the past 20 years are abandoning ship at an alarming rate. At this point, I feel like Lord Helmet at the end of Space Balls. I continue to look for gainful employment elsewhere to no avail. I can't help but feel that most of you will read this in a depressing monotone dialogue narration, like sad cats diary. All hope is lost.

::Cue uplifting music:: Come Thursday, the menace of a coworker will be back in the office. She will come in to a nightmare of logistic issues that she did not train me for. To boot, the work that she worked so diligently at training me on....I didn't have to do any of it! She will come back on Thursday and have to take care of all this headache plus do her regularly scheduled duties. She honestly thought she was screwing me over by taking these days off then coming in Thursday and then taking the second half of the day Friday off, when in fact she will be beyond covered up all while I finish designing signage for our shipping yard. Ahhhhhh.....if I could only smoke a cigar and have a nice glass of whiskey whilst perusing these forums.....er......I mean diligently working.

(Side note: if you haven't seen Sad Cat Diary google that shit now.....and enjoy)

Beware! People like her like to come back to utter chaos for several reasons:

1) The chaos is an indication that they are needed. They leave = Sh*t blows up.
2) She gets to ride in and save the day. Be the hero. The only one with the skills to solve the problem.
3) It allows her to bitch and moan the entire time she's saving the day that it's all your fault.
4) You are out in the shipping yard enjoying your sweet victory while she is back in the office taking every opportunity to throw you under the bus for the sh*t show that has engulfed the department, while simultaneously telling everyone she's fixing your mistakes. You, meanwhile, and no where to be seen.

So what do you do? You need to anticipate the above and beat her to the punch. Make sure you are sweet as pie and get to the people she will bitch to, first. "Hey, just a heads up, we have a real sh*t show brewing for Thursday. I tried everything I could to prevent it but unfortunately (insert name of fat cow here) had not quite gotten to training me on this yet. I'll be here later this week when shes back from vacation and will help right the ship, but it's going to be a bit rocky for a few days till we can get things stabilized. Sorry for the trouble this is causing you. I really wish (fat cow name here) had trained me on this so I wasn't leaving you in a lurch."

[DETRoadster]

Also, might I suggest a spritz of this on the back of her shirt as she walks out of your seating area for a meeting, preferably in a small office with a C Level exec. ...: https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mi...70_&dpSrc=srch

[King Rudi]

I am now eating my words. I have less than 2 hours left in my work day and was just sent the email that production schedules are in for next week. Not only will I not get to leave on time today, I will have to stay late and do her job for her again so that she can sit on her fat ass and do nothing again when she gets back. I am forever doomed.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I am now eating my words. I have less than 2 hours left in my work day and was just sent the email that production schedules are in for next week. Not only will I not get to leave on time today, I will have to stay late and do her job for her again so that she can sit on her fat ass and do nothing again when she gets back. I am forever doomed.

Liquid ass spray. It's the only suitable move at this point.

[BSM n54iS]

cover the chair in KY so she slides right off that thing and can't sit down all day now

[MKSixer]

Ok, my friend I read the whole thread and there are some great suggestions and I love the idea that you're starting psyops on her. Now it's time to open another front and begin the administrative battle. HR is your friend if you er on the side of the company. Risk mitigation is their task. Let's dive in here:

1. Document EVERYTHING she says to you about any coworker that's negative. EVERYTHING. Time. Place. Target. Words. This will be difficult and you'll have to make a real effort but trust me, it will pay off.

2. Document EVERYTHING she does that's a short-cut to policy and procedures. EVERYTHING. Compare this to the policies and procedures manual your company has.

3. Do you have a common area for supplies. Count her current supplies and acquisition of new supplies. Is she over the limit? Do things disappear? Document all of it.

4. What is your job description? Get it in writing from HR. Ditto for hers. Uncover the spillover and waste from you doing her work rather than yours because she's a lazy slacker. Present it to your management and HR.

5. Now for the coup de gras...when you speak to HR with all of your evidence, you need to go a little whiny millennial bitch and speak their language:

Ms. Stickuptheass, I'm sorry to bother you with this but I've been FEELING really out of sorts and unable to process everything that's been happening since I've been teamed with Jabba. I get so depressed when she speaks negatively about my fellow coworkers in all departments because I know everyone wants to do the best job that they can for the company. It's caused me such a high amount of angst. Ms. Stickuptheass I also FEEL that I'm not able to perform optimally because my job description requires the utmost concentration and I'm constantly interrupted by Jabbas emergencies which I'm certain are the result of poor planning on her part. I FEEL really strongly about this.

You get the point.

This is how you manage that idiot and get her out of your life. The language and posture is very important. The documentation is critical. Don't tip your hand. HR engagement is best served with shock and awe.

Time to play offense. Get it done.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I am now eating my words. I have less than 2 hours left in my work day and was just sent the email that production schedules are in for next week. Not only will I not get to leave on time today, I will have to stay late and do her job for her again so that she can sit on her fat ass and do nothing again when she gets back. I am forever doomed.

Stop letting this company take advantage of you.