[King Rudi]

First, let me start by saying that I really enjoy my profession and what I do for employment. I would consider myself very lucky to be where I am without a degree. With that being said, I have recently become disgusted with coming to work due to sharing an office with someone who is just miserable to be around. I have exhausted all avenues of trying to remedy this bad air between our desks but absolutely nothing seems to work. At first i thought it was me; perhaps I was misunderstood or putting off a vibe that isn't accurate so I adjusted my demeanor a little and this only made things worse.

To paint the picture, this person is constantly whispering and gossiping about every single person that walks through this office. She will smile and act as if she is your best friend until you leave the office and then everything you just said to her is mentioned to everyone that follows. I'm typically a jovial person and enjoy good conversation, but sharing an office with this individual has slowly turned me into a quiet person that is afraid to speak out of concern that anything that is said will somehow be turned against me.

To go even deeper down the rabbit hole, although we share an office; we work in completely different departments. She is in procurement and I work in engineering. I have recently been forced to be her fill-in or backup when she takes vacation. Being "trained" by this person to do her job has become a nightmare, I'm basically her bitch at this point. It has got so bad that I have started taking my breaks and lunches at varying times of hers, just to be able to sit in the office in peace and quiet during these times.

Does anyone else deal with a work environment such as this? Any advice or tips?

[UncleWede]

"Making copies!"

Good luck with that one. Curious how procurement and engineering get shoved into the same space, and even more so how you are her backup???

[Mingwan]

damn. too bad its not a guy. it would be much easier to deal with. If you talk to her one on one, she'll probably think youre mansplaining to her. And later on, her attitude will probably get worse towards you. You might have to just suck it up, man. Are you close with your boss at all?

Also, pics or it didn't happen.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

"Making copies!"

Good luck with that one. Curious how procurement and engineering get shoved into the same space, and even more so how you are her backup???

Here's the story: Due to lack of office space and my position being a new one, I was placed in the only office space they had....with her....no one else would take it. Me being a new guy, I had no choice. She has been here almost 20 years so her built up vacation time is vast. Her back up was the receptionist, she retired last summer. The new receptionist is still in the process of learning her job and is filling in for the "HR" girl who is pregnant and is about to be out on leave. Thus leaving only the "lady" doing procurement, the receptionist and myself in the office. Once HR goes on medical leave for her baby extraction and procurement takes her many vacations, this leaves the receptionist and myself being the only two in the office aside from the plant manager. Long and short of this is that no one else wants to deal with her so they are making me do it. Learning how to be her backup has now turned into learning every single aspect of her job, all while still juggling my job. She has yet to understand that just because I am helping that I still have a job to do. It has gotten severely out of hand to the degree of paging me off my breaks when she thinks they should be over, etc. Going to management and voicing my concerns only makes things worse as the plat manager and "HR" only go to her and tell her what I said thus compounding the issue.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Mingwan

damn. too bad its not a guy. it would be much easier to deal with. If you talk to her one on one, she'll probably think youre mansplaining to her. And later on, her attitude will probably get worse towards you. You might have to just suck it up, man. Are you close with your boss at all?

Also, pics or it didn't happen.

If it were a guy, there would be no issue. I tried explaining to her before that I am busy and will make time for her when I don't have such pressing issues at hand. It did no good. She is one of those types that has no concept of reality. Her reality is what she has built up in her mind and trying to explain anything differently is only considered as making excuses. She is beyond logic. At this point I am not close with anyone here at all due to the circumstances. I thought I was close to the plant manager before I found out he was discussing with her the conversation that we had. This only empowered her and alienated me.

You don't want to see pics. We're talking late 50's early 60's 300 pounds plus. Holier than thou attitude. Listens to country music all day, sings and snaps her fingers.

I've explained previously that trying to have a conversation with her is like playing chess with a pigeon. Even if you win, she will still shit on the board then strut around as if she won.

[Captain Blood]

Start some bogus rumors for her to spread.

I had a similar problem a few years back. Do you have access to her emails while she is on vacation? Checking her "sent" file is a good way to see what she is saying about you. In my situation, it got funny because both of them (both she's) were complaining to our district VP, who, unknown to them, was a buddy of mine.

[wdb]

And if you try to reciprocate by acting like a jerk you'll probably get called into HR for harassment. Hmmm, I wonder if you could turn that one around in your favor.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Real Dodger

Start some bogus rumors for her to spread.

I had a similar problem a few years back. Do you have access to her emails while she is on vacation? Checking her "sent" file is a good way to see what she is saying about you. In my situation, it got funny because both of them (both she's) were complaining to our district VP, who, unknown to them, was a buddy of mine.

I do not have access to her email and wouldn't want it. She isn't smart enough to use email for any other reason than to send PO's or verify orders. I'm constantly asked how to get to the interwebs if that says anything.

Originally Posted by wdb

And if you try to reciprocate by acting like a jerk you'll probably get called into HR for harassment. Hmmm, I wonder if you could turn that one around in your favor.

Exactly. I stood up to her once. I was in the managers office with HR being made out to be a jerk 20 minutes later. Manaagement here is so liberal, you can do whatever the hell you want as long as you don't hurt anyone's feelings.

[Red Bread]

Bring in a dozen filled donuts and a caramel macchiato for her everyday.

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by Red Bread

Bring in a dozen filled donuts and a caramel macchiato for her everyday.

Don't make me laugh at work!!!! I'll file a complaint!

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I do not have access to her email and wouldn't want it. She isn't smart enough to use email for any other reason than to send PO's or verify orders. I'm constantly asked how to get to the interwebs if that says anything.



Exactly. I stood up to her once. I was in the managers office with HR being made out to be a jerk 20 minutes later. Manaagement here is so liberal, you can do whatever the hell you want as long as you don't hurt anyone's feelings.

Make the classic move. Stab her in the back when she is on vacation. Find a way. If you are doing her job for her, let her know you'll need access to her emails. Sounds like there is plenty in there to get her in big trouble.
My best friend used to say "I ain't fucked with nobody who didn't fuck with me first". Wise words.

ps I know, Scarface may have also said that.

[Tyresian]

I've only had one bad longer term issue like this in a job before. We had a project team of 5-6 people that shared a room together for a year. There were a lot of problems with this project and pressure from management where instead of claiming any responsibility they poorly delegated people that had no business nor any want taking on those roles in addition to their existing roles.

Things worked well for the first 3 months but then they took away the most qualified leader on our team meaning they forced someone that didn't want to lead to, which meant the team had to pick up the slack but if that individual didn't like a decision he'd veto it. It got to be so bad where he kept flipping decisions the team would make that we'd get into screaming matches and it was a completely hostile work environment where most of the team stopped going to the project room, obviously that doesn't work when we need to be highly communicative. After talking to individuals on the team and trying to resolve it directly and the team and that pseudo leader would not agree I had to go to management to mediate it. We basically had to have a "come to jesus" moment for people to be honest and redistribute responsibilities so each person had a defined piece.

Now you have one person you're dealing with. If you can't work it out directly with this person (talking it out with them) the options I see are:
1. Bring it to management, even if you think they won't help, I'd hope you'd at least get a separate cubicle or something. Hell just move your stuff to a different place if there is an open spot, I know 5 co workers that have done this without issue in recent years. Even claiming offices.
2. Find another job or different position / transfer within the company
3. Tough it out if you think it will come to an end, this sounds like a terrible idea if you don't know for sure when it will end.

[BayE30]

i almost quit my current job bc of a person like this. I threatened to quit, and before they could make any changes the lady left for another job. lucky me as i got a promotion as well as not having to work with that person.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

First, let me start by saying that I really enjoy my profession and what I do for employment. I would consider myself very lucky to be where I am without a degree. With that being said, I have recently become disgusted with coming to work due to sharing an office with someone who is just miserable to be around. I have exhausted all avenues of trying to remedy this bad air between our desks but absolutely nothing seems to work. At first i thought it was me; perhaps I was misunderstood or putting off a vibe that isn't accurate so I adjusted my demeanor a little and this only made things worse.

To paint the picture, this person is constantly whispering and gossiping about every single person that walks through this office. She will smile and act as if she is your best friend until you leave the office and then everything you just said to her is mentioned to everyone that follows. I'm typically a jovial person and enjoy good conversation, but sharing an office with this individual has slowly turned me into a quiet person that is afraid to speak out of concern that anything that is said will somehow be turned against me.

To go even deeper down the rabbit hole, although we share an office; we work in completely different departments. She is in procurement and I work in engineering. I have recently been forced to be her fill-in or backup when she takes vacation. Being "trained" by this person to do her job has become a nightmare, I'm basically her bitch at this point. It has got so bad that I have started taking my breaks and lunches at varying times of hers, just to be able to sit in the office in peace and quiet during these times.

Does anyone else deal with a work environment such as this? Any advice or tips?

Ok, here's the thing. You're in engineering, and she is in procurement. Have her "procure" the necessary materials you'll need to "engineer" a chute wider than her office chair, directly underneath her chair. Or perhaps wide enough to swallow chair and desk to be on the safe side. You are in engineering after all and should build in a margin of error / tolerance right?

Install your office's newest ride "Drop Zone" while she is on vacation and have the button on your desk that permits the floor under her to drop away when she is next in. Then pass it off as some random sinkhole that just opened up when anyone asks. Again, you're in engineering - they'll believe you.

[Joekerr]

But real answer - no - I am of no help. People like that aren't going to change, they're miserable and want to make other join them.

Weigh the timelines - when will the new receptionist be finished covering for mat leave and can take over. Clarify with your boss that this is indeed temporary and you will be off this call when receptionist is done covering. Request that the next available office is yours. Can you make space somewhere else?

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Here's the story: Due to lack of office space and my position being a new one, I was placed in the only office space they had

This is how IT ended up in Housing. Although I like my coworkers, so it sounds like a Judy issue
Like Joekkrr was saying, you're going to have to science the shit out of this.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Red Bread

Bring in a dozen filled donuts and a caramel macchiato for her everyday.

This wouldn't work. She is watching her weight/working out. This has been going on for the entire 2 years that I have been here. She has gradually gained weight since I have been here.

Originally Posted by Real Dodger

Make the classic move. Stab her in the back when she is on vacation. Find a way. If you are doing her job for her, let her know you'll need access to her emails. Sounds like there is plenty in there to get her in big trouble.
My best friend used to say "I ain't fucked with nobody who didn't fuck with me first". Wise words.

ps I know, Scarface may have also said that.

This is typically my take on most things but I'm so tired of the situation that I don't even care enough to make an elaborate plan. I simply just no longer want to be here. My peace and happiness is more important that concocting shenanigans. Although I'm not at peace now anyway. I may come back to this.

Originally Posted by Tyresian

Now you have one person you're dealing with. If you can't work it out directly with this person (talking it out with them) the options I see are:
1. Bring it to management, even if you think they won't help, I'd hope you'd at least get a separate cubicle or something. Hell just move your stuff to a different place if there is an open spot, I know 5 co workers that have done this without issue in recent years. Even claiming offices.
2. Find another job or different position / transfer within the company
3. Tough it out if you think it will come to an end, this sounds like a terrible idea if you don't know for sure when it will end.

I have exercised all possible options at this point. I have put a cubicle between us. She told everyone it was so I could hide and people couldn't see me not doing anything. Our facility was built 30 years ago and we have outgrown it many times over now. All of the offices are taken by people that have been here for 10 + years. I have signed for another job inside our plant that I am more than qualified for, but management has yet to even start interviews. I have been told by many employees here that the job is pretty much mine but management wants to see how I handle filling in for this employee....so here I am on company time posting about it. I know....

Originally Posted by SFCM3

i almost quit my current job bc of a person like this. I threatened to quit, and before they could make any changes the lady left for another job. lucky me as i got a promotion as well as not having to work with that person.

That's pretty much where I'm at. I hate to let her feel like she has won, but it would be worth it. Problem is that I am making the most money I can make in the small little town I live in. If I leave, my pay will be cut significantly. I interviewed for a job last week but making half my yearly salary and this was for a management position.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

But real answer - no - I am of no help. People like that aren't going to change, they're miserable and want to make other join them.

Weigh the timelines - when will the new receptionist be finished covering for mat leave and can take over. Clarify with your boss that this is indeed temporary and you will be off this call when receptionist is done covering. Request that the next available office is yours. Can you make space somewhere else?

You are correct. She is miserable and makes everyone around her miserable. Management jokes around with her but they know how she is. Problem here is that nothing is ever done about anything. There is no accountability here for anyone aside from those who step up and take care of things i.e. myself and a few others. The reason for our lives being hell is that we have to pick up others slack so that we can do our jobs; then we listen to accolades being given to those who don't do theirs. Very frustrating.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

This is how IT ended up in Housing. Although I like my coworkers, so it sounds like a Judy issue
Like Joekkrr was saying, you're going to have to science the shit out of this.

I have managed to make an excel spreadsheet of all the literal mess of notes that she gave me to work with. I broke everything down by part number, vendor, contact info etc. She has done this position for almost 20 years off a bunch of busted ass notes that have been written and rewritten over; within a week I have revised her entire position to an excel file. The look on her face when she saw it is what I would imagine native americans reaction to an iPad would be....and I've only been at it for a week. By the time this is over I'll be able to train her on how to do her job the right way.

I will say that the singing of country music, snapping her fingers, flossing her teeth and clipping of fingernails is slowly chipping away at my sanity....well, what I call sanity anyway.

[TheWatchGuy]

hit it and quit it.

she will ask for a new office

or like others said, get her to spread some BS rumor. just mention you heard this person and that person are sleeping together. those rumors spread like wildfire.

Best option though, is to just start ripping them during the day. get some activia and digestion aids to really let loose.

[DETRoadster]

I see only one course of action. File a harassment claim with HR. Tell them she grabbed your junk. #MeToo.

Seriously though, it sounds like you manager does not have your back and neither does HR. You're pretty much F'd. Even if you could score a different cubicle, you're still her b*tch until you either move to the different position in the company or leave. She sounds like a lifer there. She will not retire before you, despite the age gap. Waiting for her to go first is futile.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by TheWatchGuy

hit it and quit it.

she will ask for a new office

or like others said, get her to spread some BS rumor. just mention you heard this person and that person are sleeping together. those rumors spread like wildfire.

Best option though, is to just start ripping them during the day. get some activia and digestion aids to really let loose.

This is genius! Make it so unpleasant that she has to leave. But be smart about it. Go to the doctor under the pretense of massive gas. Then tell HR you have a medical condition of uncontrollable flatulence. Tell them you need reasonable accommodations. Then let the farts fly. By the time she complains you will already have produced a doctors note and asked HR for reasonable medical accommodations. You're pretty much untouchable at that point.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

This is genius! Make it so unpleasant that she has to leave. But be smart about it. Go to the doctor under the pretense of massive gas. Then tell HR you have a medical condition of uncontrollable flatulence. Tell them you need reasonable accommodations. Then let the farts fly. By the time she complains you will already have produced a doctors note and asked HR for reasonable medical accommodations. You're pretty much untouchable at that point.

Actually...that is interesting. Have you considered starting to bring the stinkiest foods possible to work to consume (regardless of whether you like them or not). I mean, if I hear a story of you chowing down on a skunk, I'll know you are pretty desperate, but seriously...heat up some tuna casserole, and eat it right by her desk. Rinse and repeat with the stinkiest foods possible for a few weeks (obviously eat normal when she is on vacation). Warmed up tuna casserole does tend to linger. This could be an idea.

She might complain and ask that you be given a new office! Or her. I mean, your boss can't tell you what to eat right? So if he does, just tell him you think this could all be resolved if you could have your own office....

This is so much better than my original idea of laxatives in her food just to keep her on the throne for most of the day.

[TheWatchGuy]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Actually...that is interesting. Have you considered starting to bring the stinkiest foods possible to work to consume (regardless of whether you like them or not). I mean, if I hear a story of you chowing down on a skunk, I'll know you are pretty desperate, but seriously...heat up some tuna casserole, and eat it right by her desk. Rinse and repeat with the stinkiest foods possible for a few weeks (obviously eat normal when she is on vacation). Warmed up tuna casserole does tend to linger. This could be an idea.

She might complain and ask that you be given a new office! Or her. I mean, your boss can't tell you what to eat right? So if he does, just tell him you think this could all be resolved if you could have your own office....

This is so much better than my original idea of laxatives in her food just to keep her on the throne for most of the day.

Great idea, and you can also get the added benefit of the extra gasses produced from those foods. Double whammy.

laxatives in her food would counteract the gasses you are trying to pass, so best to stay away from that plan.