texts from last night...

solefald · 05-20-2009, 05:42 PM

lol. this shit is hilarious!

http://textsfromlastnight.com

this one is my favorite though:

Quote:

(404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
(1-404): haha good one..how did you even know?
(404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

MCMLXXXIX · 05-20-2009, 05:49 PM

hahaha nice

in5ane_3 · 05-20-2009, 06:26 PM

(206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
(425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

yomama69 · 05-20-2009, 06:35 PM

(202): On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
(703): It's the American dream

yomama69 · 05-20-2009, 06:43 PM

(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
(1-404): Two?
(404): Two.

ACZakka325i · 05-20-2009, 06:46 PM

Fuck My Life is much better...

http://www.fmylife.com/maintenance.php

ACZakka325i · 05-20-2009, 06:47 PM

"Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML"

BMdblU · 05-20-2009, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ACZakka325i

"Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML"

GSXRM3 · 05-20-2009, 10:38 PM

This one cracked me up

"Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML"

MCMLXXXIX · 05-20-2009, 10:51 PM

ummm...thread jack

KiokenM3 · 05-20-2009, 11:26 PM

greatest thread ever!!!

ACZakka325i · 05-21-2009, 01:00 AM

<FTW?

jk

TwinTurboXI · 05-21-2009, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KiokenM3

greatest thread ever!!!

It's a good thread but i dont think so.

danniexi · 05-21-2009, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yomama69

(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
(1-404): Two?
(404): Two.

lol

Maestro · 05-21-2009, 03:47 PM

(650): i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
(408): Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

no explain how these get on that site... before i begin thinking they are somehow plucking them form the system

solefald · 05-21-2009, 04:09 PM

people submit them. see the little text input thing on the right?

KiokenM3 · 05-21-2009, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwinTurboXI

It's a good thread but i dont think so.

to you maybe

TwinTurboXI · 05-21-2009, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KiokenM3

to you maybe

Ya your right, this thread is by far the BEST EVER!!!

Maestro · 05-21-2009, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solefald

people submit them. see the little text input thing on the right?

Ah its a let me show the world how stupid I can be site, just no names attached...

nightkhan · 05-21-2009, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maestro

Ah its a let me show the world how stupid I can be site, just no names attached...

welcome to the internet, the show and tell for idiots

c0nstant · 05-21-2009, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nightkhan

welcome to the internet, the show and tell for idiots

808six · 05-21-2009, 07:30 PM

um there are fake i hope you guys know..funny none the less

05-20-2009, 05:49 PM	#2
MCMLXXXIX wat 240 Rep 3,406 Posts Drives: a gr3at whit3 5hark Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Oct 2008 iTrader: (0)	hahaha nice __________________ 2012 Toyota Highlander SE - PAST - 2008 e92 335i, 2006 e90 325i
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05-20-2009, 06:26 PM	#3
in5ane_3 Lieutenant General 254 Rep 16,220 Posts Drives: M3 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Sun Valley, California iTrader: (3)	(206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole (425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
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05-20-2009, 06:35 PM	#4
yomama69 Banned 62 Rep 688 Posts Drives: 2007 E90 335i Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Austin, Texas iTrader: (0)	(202): On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US (703): It's the American dream
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05-20-2009, 06:43 PM	#5
yomama69 Banned 62 Rep 688 Posts Drives: 2007 E90 335i Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Austin, Texas iTrader: (0)	(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two.
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05-20-2009, 06:46 PM	#6
ACZakka325i Colonel 283 Rep 2,008 Posts Drives: 2 stroke Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: CT iTrader: (2)	Fuck My Life is much better... http://www.fmylife.com/maintenance.php __________________ (Waitlist): #1 M2CSL (Current): 2016 F15 X5 3.5xdrive - 2010 997.2 C4S Coupe (Past): 2016 F30 340xi M-Sport -2013 535i xdrive 2008 E92 M3 - 2006 E90 325i 2002 E46 325xi - 1991 E30 325i
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05-20-2009, 06:47 PM	#7
ACZakka325i Colonel 283 Rep 2,008 Posts Drives: 2 stroke Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: CT iTrader: (2)	"Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML" __________________ (Waitlist): #1 M2CSL (Current): 2016 F15 X5 3.5xdrive - 2010 997.2 C4S Coupe (Past): 2016 F30 340xi M-Sport -2013 535i xdrive 2008 E92 M3 - 2006 E90 325i 2002 E46 325xi - 1991 E30 325i
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05-20-2009, 10:38 PM	#9
GSXRM3 Enlisted Member 2 Rep 43 Posts Drives: 2011 AW E92 M3 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: San Diego iTrader: (1)	This one cracked me up "Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML"
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05-20-2009, 10:51 PM	#10
MCMLXXXIX wat 240 Rep 3,406 Posts Drives: a gr3at whit3 5hark Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Oct 2008 iTrader: (0)	ummm...thread jack __________________ 2012 Toyota Highlander SE - PAST - 2008 e92 335i, 2006 e90 325i
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05-20-2009, 11:26 PM	#11
KiokenM3 Lieutenant Colonel 91 Rep 1,503 Posts Drives: LIFTED JEEP JK! Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: LA iTrader: (4)	greatest thread ever!!!
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05-21-2009, 01:00 AM	#12
ACZakka325i Colonel 283 Rep 2,008 Posts Drives: 2 stroke Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: CT iTrader: (2)	<FTW? jk __________________ (Waitlist): #1 M2CSL (Current): 2016 F15 X5 3.5xdrive - 2010 997.2 C4S Coupe (Past): 2016 F30 340xi M-Sport -2013 535i xdrive 2008 E92 M3 - 2006 E90 325i 2002 E46 325xi - 1991 E30 325i
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05-21-2009, 03:47 PM	#15
Maestro Major 1060 Rep 1,268 Posts Drives: 2007 335i Sedan, 2021 X3 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Philadelphia iTrader: (0)	(650): i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner! (408): Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland... no explain how these get on that site... before i begin thinking they are somehow plucking them form the system
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05-21-2009, 04:09 PM	#16
solefald Nigerian Prince 396 Rep 2,180 Posts Drives: '11 F25 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: San Diego, CA iTrader: (2) Garage List '11 BMW F25 [0.00]	people submit them. see the little text input thing on the right? __________________ http://soundcloud.com/djtchort
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05-21-2009, 07:30 PM	#22
808six Second Lieutenant 16 Rep 274 Posts Drives: AW 335 COUPE Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: HAWAII iTrader: (1)	um there are fake i hope you guys know..funny none the less
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