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      12-28-2009, 08:09 AM   #1
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Need advice from members who are fathers...

My GF has a nephew who is 6 years old and craps his pants. Literally he just shits his pants for attention. My GF's brother passed away and left the mother with 3 kids and she is immature (had them when she was really young) and doesn't really take care of them or discipline them. Anyways..

Again, he craps his pants for attention and my GF, obviously loves them to death. She brings them to our place about once a month for the weekend. This whole crapping in the pants thing has been ongoing. He doesn't do it in public only when he is around his aunts and uncles.. even at home with his mother. They have tried everything to get him to stop.

-Negative reinforcement, example the mother has tried hitting him.. nothing. Yelling at him..nothing. Time outs..nothing.. you name it everyone has tried it.
-Positive reinforcement, for example rewarding him when he uses the toilet with candy or treats etc..nothing. Encouraging him.. nothing...

Well last night he took a crap in his pants while sitting on the couch at my place. I woke up and he was standing in the middle of my living room. I asked my girl what happened and she told me. I was livid. I got an idea from someone at work a while back. I pulled my girl aside and I told her what I planned to do and she agreed.

I went to Walgreens and bought some diapers. Big kid pull up diapers and brought them home. I had my girl go and tell him to change in those diapers and he tried to wear his pants over the diapers. My girl, who was also fed up with it, told him to take off his pants and only wear the diapers.

We told him that if he wanted to crap his pants like a baby then he would wear a diaper around like a baby and until he learns how to go to the bathroom like a big kid then he could have his pants back. We tried the positive and negative reinforcement and the only thing that was left that no one had tried was embarrassment. Which he was..

So my question to fathers here would be this: given this situation, how would you handle it? They have tried everything with this kid and nothing has worked so far but my plan seems to be working but we'll see...
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      12-28-2009, 08:25 AM   #2
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Not a dad. Thank you thank you thank you.

Promise to video tape his accidents so he and others can watch his great creations for the rest of their lives.



PS: That is just down right nasty. Never erd' of such a ting'.
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      12-28-2009, 10:01 AM   #3
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the diaper is good.
he should continue to wear the diaper everywhere.
going have to re-train him.
my son at 3 years old would have accidents at night so u put the diaper on
and remind them - it's an embarrassing thing for a kid to pee or poop
on themselves.
try not to give the kid to much grief but do express that it's not okay
to shit ur pants.

and also therapy for the kid - he's going through some tough shit (no pun intended).
he's going need it, not just the shit ur pants but the loss of a father.
good luck.
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      12-28-2009, 10:19 AM   #4
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The kid does need to get some professional help. His school counselor says that he is "regressing" to the mindset of a much younger age. I don't give him grief but something had to be done about the crapping in his pants thing. Especially when he sits on my furniture and takes a dump in his pants when the bathroom is 10 feet away. I lay on this couch and watch TV.. now I have to disinfect it because he's either unwilling or too lazy to go to the bathroom...

Thanks for the advice Frankie!!
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      12-28-2009, 11:00 AM   #5
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How do you know that he is "unwilling" or "too lazy", what if he has a genuine mental or physical condition that is causing it? Consult a professional, psychiatrist or child behavior experts.
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      12-28-2009, 11:02 AM   #6
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Pull up it is....keep them on him until he learns....he will get tired of it eventually...
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      12-28-2009, 11:13 AM   #7
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I am a physician and a father.

This is a serious and complex medical problem that cannot be adequately addressed in a forum. One of the many possibilities is that he is being sexually abused.

If you really care about him, start with an appointment with his pediatrician and then he may need evaluation by a child psychiatrist.

This is more complex that it seems.
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      12-28-2009, 12:00 PM   #8
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Easy fix, every time he shits his pants give him a wedgie. Problem Solved
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      12-28-2009, 12:27 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 10M3MAN View Post
Pull up it is....keep them on him until he learns....he will get tired of it eventually...
+1
child psychiatrist wouldn't hurt either
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      12-28-2009, 01:43 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankiE90 View Post
the diaper is good.
he should continue to wear the diaper everywhere.
going have to re-train him.
my son at 3 years old would have accidents at night so u put the diaper on
and remind them - it's an embarrassing thing for a kid to pee or poop
on themselves.
try not to give the kid to much grief but do express that it's not okay
to shit ur pants.

and also therapy for the kid - he's going through some tough shit (no pun intended).
he's going need it, not just the shit ur pants but the loss of a father.
good luck.

I lol'd at this.

Not the kid, just your response
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      12-28-2009, 01:54 PM   #11
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i would threaten to superglue his asshole shut...then he'd be scared
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      12-28-2009, 02:03 PM   #12
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i would threaten to superglue his asshole shut...then he'd be scared
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      12-28-2009, 02:54 PM   #13
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He may have a learning disability too. I have a cousin who is a few years older than me ( 24) and he still has accidents and stuff cause his mom was a drug addict.

My son is only a year old so I can't speak from any experience but I think the diaper is a good idea. I would also agree with FrankiE90, and take him to some sort of counselor and try to find out if something else is going on.

Edit: And if he's just doing it to be an ass, as long as the weather is ok, just take him out in public wearing only a diaper (shirt and shoes too, but no pants) that would be mortifying to a 6 year-old.
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      12-28-2009, 07:00 PM   #14
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I would NEVER try to discipline a child that isn't mine, without the permission from the parents first, totally over the line in my opinion.
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      12-28-2009, 07:21 PM   #15
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Sorry for your situation, good luck.

Thanks for reminding me why i don't have kids.
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      12-28-2009, 07:35 PM   #16
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Video tape it and post it on youtube
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      12-28-2009, 08:14 PM   #17
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perhaps he likes the feeling of having feces in his pants but he is too embarrassed to do it in public. That's why he only does it at home or around people he knows. I mean, he obviously can control his bowel movement.

Does he want to get cleaned up right after he shit his pants? or does he not seems to care?

If he has friends from school are over at his house, does he still do it?
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      12-29-2009, 05:41 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ideliver View Post
I am a physician and a father.

This is a serious and complex medical problem that cannot be adequately addressed in a forum. One of the many possibilities is that he is being sexually abused.

If you really care about him, start with an appointment with his pediatrician and then he may need evaluation by a child psychiatrist.

This is more complex that it seems.
+1.

This really is not the sort of thing that the OT of m3post is going to help with.
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      12-29-2009, 06:12 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChineseGuy View Post
Video tape it and post it on youtube
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      12-29-2009, 06:21 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaiman View Post
+1.

This really is not the sort of thing that the OT of m3post is going to help with.
Just saying, but if it was me, I wouldn't want the burden of going to go through the trouble of finding my girlfriend's nephew a psyc. OP probably just wants the kid to stop crapping on his couch. I bet most pets aren't as bad as this kid (especially at 6 years old). I think the diapers idea is great. If that didn't work, I'd just walk away from further attempts. Either the parent seeks professional help or the kid grows up on his own.
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      12-30-2009, 10:11 AM   #21
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my little cousin is 2 (but very smart, like talks in complete sentences, very advanced for his age) ,,, so when he doesn't listen to his mom i tell him hes not going to grow up and be a "big boy" like me... then he says "i wanna be a big boy" and i tell him he needs to listen to his mom so he can grow up and be a good boy and if he doesn't listen i tell him hes going to stay the same size.... so he always ends up listening to his mom
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      12-30-2009, 10:34 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kroy View Post
Just saying, but if it was me, I wouldn't want the burden of going to go through the trouble of finding my girlfriend's nephew a psyc. OP probably just wants the kid to stop crapping on his couch. I bet most pets aren't as bad as this kid (especially at 6 years old). I think the diapers idea is great. If that didn't work, I'd just walk away from further attempts. Either the parent seeks professional help or the kid grows up on his own.
Sure. But there is probably no easy solution that will work here. So the OP has a few options: ban the kid from his home until the problem goes away, try to stop it using some technique he learns from the interwebz or persuade the family to have the kid looked at by a professional.
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