Blind Pilots

SoYank · 02-11-2007, 07:04 AM

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens and two men walk up the aisle dressed in pilots' uniforms -- both wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin -- but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die..."

Zeiss · 02-11-2007, 07:08 AM

Hahaha

Nice!

vivekk · 02-11-2007, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoYank

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens and two men walk up the aisle dressed in pilots' uniforms -- both wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin -- but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die..."

Ok...Floyd....I now think you are funnier than Seinfeld!

Viv

monsta · 02-25-2007, 11:05 AM

damnit I'm suppose to fly later on this week I shouldn't have read thisk, but its funny

MacAttack · 02-25-2007, 09:37 PM

Classic.

E90330iS · 04-24-2007, 10:53 PM

Hahahahaaha

JOEVISTA · 05-30-2007, 03:40 PM

c0nstant · 08-16-2007, 06:08 PM

HAHAHAHA

longtran · 08-17-2007, 12:06 PM

ahahha...

06E90Rostik · 10-18-2007, 08:33 PM

lol

BaLLzZz · 10-18-2007, 08:54 PM

HhahaHAh

Year's_End · 10-21-2007, 05:25 AM

omg I laughed so hard my stomach hurts...and it's early for that...

Big Windy · 10-21-2007, 06:25 AM

good shit

E90SLAM · 11-02-2007, 11:14 AM

Tower: Flight 256, turn left 90 degrees.
Captain: Roger, but how come?
Tower: Noise abatement.
Captain. We are at FL350 so I don't understand how it affects the noise.
Tower: Ever heard the sound that a 727 and a 747 makes when they crash into each other?

E90SLAM · 11-02-2007, 11:17 AM

ATC: "Air Force Four-Five, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've already ejected."

E90SLAM · 11-02-2007, 11:22 AM

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto."

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot says to the pilot,"Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?"

"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge breasts out for dinner..then I'm gonna wine her and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night."

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the isles trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane.

She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn off the intercom. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first."

truong321 · 11-06-2007, 08:48 PM

LOL!

02-11-2007, 07:04 AM	#1
SoYank Major General 591 Rep 7,519 Posts Drives: 2009 E90 335i MT Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Vinton, Virginia iTrader: (1) Garage List 2009 BMW E90 335i S ... [9.00]	Blind Pilots Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens and two men walk up the aisle dressed in pilots' uniforms -- both wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin -- but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die..." __________________ **2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec** SatNav • ZPP • ZCW • 6FL • TPMS • iDrive • PDC • HWS • Xenons • BMW Assist • Power Rear Sunshade • Logic 7 European Taillights • Rear Foglamp • OEM Alarm • PicoTray • DataToys XM-DVR • Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD • Short Shift Knob • Hartge Anti-Roll Bars • AP Racing Front Brakes • 19" Style 269
	Appreciate 0 Tweet Quote

02-11-2007, 07:08 AM	#2
Zeiss Lieutenant Colonel 360 Rep 1,864 Posts Drives: Bicycle Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Vancouver iTrader: (0)	Hahaha Nice!
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-25-2007, 11:05 AM	#4
monsta Brigadier General 227 Rep 3,588 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Bergen County, NJ/Y.O, NY iTrader: (2)	damnit I'm suppose to fly later on this week I shouldn't have read thisk, but its funny
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-25-2007, 09:37 PM	#5
MacAttack Colonel 29 Rep 2,134 Posts Drives: fast enough Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Afghanistan iTrader: (0) Garage List 2007 BMW [0.00]	Classic. __________________ 2007 E92 335i Coupe: Monaco Blue/Premium/Sports/Winter Package/Nav/CA/6MT/TT/Active Cruise/Active Steering/iPod/Rear Shade/Tint/Short Shifter/OEM Alum Pedals//
	Appreciate 0 Quote

04-24-2007, 10:53 PM	#6
E90330iS Major General 151 Rep 6,333 Posts Drives: BMW M4 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Arcadia, California iTrader: (56) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	Hahahahaaha __________________ 2017 BMW M4 DCT Lease Transfer: https://f80.bimmerpost.com/forums/sh...8#post23736398
	Appreciate 0 Quote

05-30-2007, 03:40 PM	#7
JOEVISTA Private 3 Rep 96 Posts Drives: 335d blk/blk Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: boca raton,fl iTrader: (0)
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-16-2007, 06:08 PM	#8
c0nstant Lieutenant General 1887 Rep 17,322 Posts Drives: G80 M3 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	HAHAHAHA
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-17-2007, 12:06 PM	#9
longtran Lieutenant General 1497 Rep 16,625 Posts Drives: E90 M3 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: CA iTrader: (105) Garage List 2006 325i [0.00]	ahahha...
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-18-2007, 08:33 PM	#10
06E90Rostik 2006 join date crew 196 Rep 1,482 Posts Drives: 2006 325i, 2011 335i Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: CA, Sacramento iTrader: (10) Garage List 2011 335i [10.00] 2006 325i [0.00]	lol
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-18-2007, 08:54 PM	#11
BaLLzZz Colonel 132 Rep 2,298 Posts Drives: e92 335i Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NYC iTrader: (5)	HhahaHAh __________________ Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. - Albert Einstein 01 e46 m54 - Current : 14 f10 n26 - Boring & Gone : 15 f30 n26 - Current : 08 e92 n54 - Gone & Missed!!!
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-21-2007, 05:25 AM	#12
Year's_End Lieutenant General 1266 Rep 12,446 Posts Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	omg I laughed so hard my stomach hurts...and it's early for that... __________________ Past: '08 E92 335i\|ZPP\|ZSP\|6AT Past: '15 Mustang GT\|401A\|PP\|6MT Current: '20 Shelby GT350\|6MT
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-21-2007, 06:25 AM	#13
Big Windy Major General 158 Rep 5,123 Posts Drives: None Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bay Area iTrader: (0)	good shit
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-02-2007, 11:14 AM	#14
E90SLAM Supreme Allied Commander 2053 Rep 61,781 Posts Drives: A BBS WHORE Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: . iTrader: (6) Garage List 2022 BMW X3 sDrive30i [0.00]	Tower: Flight 256, turn left 90 degrees. Captain: Roger, but how come? Tower: Noise abatement. Captain. We are at FL350 so I don't understand how it affects the noise. Tower: Ever heard the sound that a 727 and a 747 makes when they crash into each other? __________________
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-02-2007, 11:17 AM	#15
E90SLAM Supreme Allied Commander 2053 Rep 61,781 Posts Drives: A BBS WHORE Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: . iTrader: (6) Garage List 2022 BMW X3 sDrive30i [0.00]	ATC: "Air Force Four-Five, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've already ejected." __________________
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-02-2007, 11:22 AM	#16
E90SLAM Supreme Allied Commander 2053 Rep 61,781 Posts Drives: A BBS WHORE Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: . iTrader: (6) Garage List 2022 BMW X3 sDrive30i [0.00]	A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto." He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot,"Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?" "Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge breasts out for dinner..then I'm gonna wine her and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night." Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the isles trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn off the intercom. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first." __________________
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-06-2007, 08:48 PM	#17
truong321 Second Lieutenant 58 Rep 271 Posts Drives: bmw Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: CA iTrader: (0)	LOL! __________________
	Appreciate 0 Quote

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search