[Neurorad]

I enjoy a good, profound quote; I'm sure many here have some favorites that they could share.

Funny are also welcomed, and encouraged.

Here's one:

The greatest danger is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.

[Scottz71]

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

[bmw0perat0r]

The passengers are sick, we think it might have been the fish.

How soon can we land?

I can't tell.

You can tell me, i'm a doctor.

I'm not sure.

Well can't you take a guess?

Hmm...not for another hour.

You can't take a guess for another hour...

No, I mean we can't land for another hour.

---------

If you had dynamite for brains, you still wouldn't have enough to blow your ears off.

[canucklion]

"use soap on a rope when one's incarcerated"

- a former convict whose ass doesn't hurt

[561design]

"Man with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger."

[UncleWede]

Don't eat the yellow snow

[LENELSA]

"I once was wrong, but I was mistaken...."

[Dleo]

My favorites from Socrates:

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent.
Socrates

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
Socrates

Well I am certainly wiser than this man. It is only too likely that neither of us has any knowledge to boast of; but he thinks that he knows something which he does not know, whereas I am quite conscious of my ignorance. At any rate it seems that I am wiser than he is to this small extent, that I do not think that I know what I do not know.
Socrates

Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue-to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak.
Socrates

[thedean786]

"To allow a friendship to die away by negligence is to voluntarily throw away one of the greatest comforts of this weary pilgrimage."

-Samuel Johnson

[Scottz71]

Originally Posted by 561design

"Man with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger."

"...Man who go through aiplane door sideways, going to Bangkok..."

[Corey]

"I would like to explain to folks the necessities of owning a car that is weak, like a small little child, like a miata.

when you own a car that is:
a) balanced
b) underpowered
c) gay
d) fun
e) obd-2

you have to be very careful with your modifications. see, there are great companies out there (like flyinmiata) who understand what it takes to give this car balls. however, flyinmiata, much like REARcornersdotcom, is very expensive. and being that i dont even like this car so much at the moment, i am very chosey about what money gets spent.

i mean, all my fun money should be going to the 240 and getting that car back from the paint shop. but, in the meantime.. like a crackhead, i need immediate gratification and satisfaction. rummaging through storage has made me somehow manage to fit 240SX modifications on this damn miata.

example.. 245/45/16 s03 tires. i had them as extras.

now, this POS comes stock with 15" wheels.. they're like 15x5 or some weak shit like that. no way i am keeping 205 tires on there, its weak and no traction. so, i bought some enkei rp-f1's (16x8 4x100) and installed the 245's. Technically, they should have been 245/35.. but only toyo makes those.. and i dont like toyo. so i managed to roll the fenders, ditch the liners, and enjoy eccessively wide tires on such a small car. its fun really..

but see, you cant get too crazy.. because this car still blows. it throws check engine lights for stupid reasons, like evap control, egr, etc.. hence the reason i chucked the check engine bulb out the car.

the seats sucked, they were stupid leather seats that dont hold shit in. so those were chucked and sold to some mazda miata loving idiot. seriously, these people respond to for-sale ads for STOCK WHEELS. CHROME. LEATHER. I mean, ive never come across such a weird demographic of idiots.

i installed FD seats, schroth harnesses, and a rollbar. now i'm stuck in the car. i ditched the OEM airbag wheel and installed my trusty momo. a set of tein HA coilovers and some swaybars. now, atleast, i can drive this thing without throwing up from the lack of traction and LEAN, dive, etc...

so guys, this has been my life. i got married, burried, and now drive a gay miata... until my 240 comes back from widening and paintening (dont think thats a word, but whatever).

serious.. this is my advice. if you like your car, dont get married.. because you cant spend money on it anymore. and, if you do get married, buy a 12-cylinder before the ceremony.. like a lamborghini or some shit that will make her think you're clinically insane (like murdock from the a-team). atleast you'll have a mans car, and it will give you a noble death should you decide to launch off a mountain and end your life.

me, i am stuck.. driving a **** car that handles good but lacks just about any other form of fun, be it braking or acceleration. i get to take the top down, WOOO.. how gay is this shit. i never cared about a top in my 240, i just wanted to beat people up in the canyons.

i will say, that the other day i handed a WRX STI HIS FUCKING ASS in the canyons here.. and it was very satisfying. If only that fucker didnt turn off the road, i would have enjoyed telling him i beat his 300 or more HP AWD advantage car, with my wife's weaksauce shitmobile.

god i need my 240 back "

[just4kickz]

corey, you ruined it... hahaha jk

[shragon]

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Confucius

[BMW F22]

This quote was listed as unknown but I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger say it in an episode of The Apprentice when having breakfast with the winning team. He explained how tough it was for him when he first entered his career as an actor.

"Pain is temporary, pride is forever".

[Josh49]

Originally Posted by canucklion

"use soap on a rope when one's incarcerated"

- a former convict whose ass doesn't hurt

[Josh49]

If a man talks dirty to a woman, it's called sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $5.99 a minute..

[Josh49]

Everyone needs belief in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

[canucklion]

nicely done

Originally Posted by Josh49

If a man talks dirty to a woman, it's called sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $5.99 a minute..

[DesiGUY]

"I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!" - Eric Cartman

'nuff of jokes... my life is structured around the below quote

"On action alone be thy interest,
Never on its fruits.
Let not the fruits of action be thy motive,
Nor be thy attachment to inaction." - Bhagavad Gita

[Neurorad]

Originally Posted by 561design

"Man with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger."

"Man with little hole in pocket feel nuts, man with big hole in pocket feel cocky"

I think Redd Foxx came up with these; heard some similar ones on Sirius Raw Dog.

[Neurorad]

Originally Posted by DesiGUY

'nuff of jokes... my life is structured around the below quote

"On action alone be thy interest,
Never on its fruits.
Let not the fruits of action be thy motive,
Nor be thy attachment to inaction." - Bhagavad Gita

Would a Bodhisattva drive an e90?

One of his students asked Buddha, "Are you the messiah?"
"No", answered Buddha.
"Then are you a healer?"
"No", Buddha replied.
"Then are you a teacher?" the student persisted.
"No, I am not a teacher."
"Then what are you?" asked the student, exasperated.
"I am awake", Buddha replied.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by Neurorad

"Man with little hole in pocket feel nuts, man with big hole in pocket feel cocky"

This reminded me of a sales meeting when I sold Toyotas. The GSM was saying how if you dont sell cars you dont make anything and it'd be a waste of time. Then he asked us "if your pockets are empty, when you put your hands in it what do you feel?".

I answered "nutty" and he cracked up. good times good times