[leejoobin]

anyone in here lost a loved one ???
if not, hopefully it doesn't happen to you forever, if possible.
i have been thinking about her all day, since i lost her.
everyday, everywhere, while working, while in class, while driving.
also haven't been able to eat or sleep.
and it's been about 2 month.

anyone with similar experience??
if so. some advice will be nice.
if not..... hopefully, time will take care of everything.

Edit--------------------------------------------
thank you all.
i do feel better than yesterday.
hopefully. time will do it's job.

[Neema]

Originally Posted by leejoobin

anyone in here lost a loved one ???
if not, hopefully it doesn't happen to you forever, if possible.
i have been thinking about her all day, since i lost her.
everyday, everywhere, while working, while in class, while driving.
also haven't been able to eat or sleep.
and it's been about 2 month.

anyone with similar experience??
if so. some advice will be nice.
if not..... hopefully, time will take care of everything.

Hey man.......maybe I can help you out during a time where what anyone says doesn’t make sense. I was only 4 years old when my father passed away from cancer so I never really had to experience the full effect of the loss, though I cant even remember anything about it.....too young. I lost a friend last September 25th when he crashed his M3 racing someone else.......

What helps me is to just tell yourself that your missing their physical being, their physical presence in your life, and that they're always around spiritually. Also, remember that they are happy and wouldn’t want you to be upset over them, they are in a better place, seriously remember that. Just try to think of it as a temporary vacation that they had to take and after time, you too will join her.....in a happier and better place. The last thing is that death is just a natural part of life, it happens to all of us. So, in the end, and I have experienced this part many times.......in the end, no matter what people say, it just doesn’t do it for me.......its so hard to let go sometimes and all this advice that people give just seems like it'll never make sense, but trust me, it will and it does.

I once talked to a very respectable and renound psychiatrist about avoiding thoughts and trying to get over things. He told me to try and JUST think about a + sign for one straight minute, nothing else but the + sign. After the minute I laughed and we both knew that it is impossible to fully control your thought patterns. It is your brain's job to provide you with constant neural activity. He also said that trying to avoid thoughts usually makes the thoughts stronger, more frequent, and worse. The reason for this he says is because when you try and avoid something like a thought for example, your essentially energizing this thought by avoiding it, make sense? By trying to push this thought away and avoid it, you've now subconsciously made the thought more taboo and more evident to yourself. He said that some thoughts are just thoughts. He told me that he gets countless patients who come into his office and tell him "doctor doctor im having terrible thought about.......for example, raping a girl" He then asks them, ok......and have you ever done anything regarding this thought..........the patient thinks and says, well no. Obviously he'll try to help them with that thought, but the point he makes to them is that thoughts are only thoughts and unless you've done anything related to them, then they're just thoughts, now of course some thoughts can be harmful. So don’t try to fight your thoughts and feelings, just tell yourself that its just your brain doing what it does and with time and help you'll eventually come out of the pain and "get over it" ( I put it in quotes because that term sounds too harsh, though it describes what im explaining).


So just hang in there man, do your thing in work, school, with friends, with family........you just have to go about doing your thing until time and some effort from yourself will heal things

[BeMyWife330i]

^+1
time will do it man!!!!!!

[ctgazer]

^ thats deep

[DM1]

Time is hearts medicine.

You will always think about her, that is what is gonna keep her alive inside you, and that is what has to help you to move on and enjoy life since that's what she wants to do also.

Best wishes!