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      10-30-2007, 04:49 AM   #1
Chris.G
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MANLAWS

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killedand eaten by his
buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you have known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you
actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even
remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the
game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap
her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she is officially your
girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you are sunning on a tropical
beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick or punch another guy
in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they
demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports
watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to
fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just
greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding
sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e.,both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible
nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to
have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken
monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each
other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me,
you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference
between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your
wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying
somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer,
lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're
next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man laws, Ltd.
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      10-30-2007, 08:10 AM   #2
Kiemyster
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this is Really kool....
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      10-30-2007, 08:37 AM   #3
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Easy there Kie, we know where you're going with this
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      10-30-2007, 09:54 AM   #4
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2007 Z4M Coupé  [7.66]
Perhaps being Australian, he doesn't know about the rules.
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      10-30-2007, 10:03 AM   #5
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almOst read the entire post
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      10-30-2007, 10:28 AM   #6
UncleWede
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So, what can we do about it?
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      10-30-2007, 10:31 AM   #7
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Touche, what can we do?
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      10-30-2007, 01:22 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiemyster View Post
this is Really kool....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spool View Post
Easy there Kie, we know where you're going with this
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmulax View Post
Perhaps being Australian, he doesn't know about the rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by inabis View Post
almOst read the entire post
Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
So, what can we do about it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3onDubs View Post
Touche, what can we do?

Wow !! I can't believe that someone didn't screw this up....

Last edited by MadDog; 10-30-2007 at 08:57 PM..
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      10-30-2007, 01:57 PM   #9
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Im tearing up some were pretty funny (I didnt see it be4)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MadDog View Post
Wow !! I can't believe that someone didn't screw this up....
They organized it that or they have same brain!
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      10-30-2007, 05:13 PM   #10
Gort
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M
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      10-30-2007, 05:36 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadDog View Post
Wow !! I can't believe that someone didn't screw this up....
+1
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      10-30-2007, 06:29 PM   #12
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Quote:
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
Unless its a GT3 RS
________
Discuss Vaporizers
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FORD V PLATFORM HISTORY
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IOLITE VARPORISERS
________
house wives Cams
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Last edited by Vegas_Sirk; 09-19-2011 at 11:50 AM..
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      10-30-2007, 06:46 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M3This View Post
Unless its a GT3 RS
Or Lotus, or Lamborghini. So basically anything under 5,000 units a year can have orange and green. The other three are still never.
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      10-30-2007, 06:52 PM   #14
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Still a funny repost.
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      10-30-2007, 07:10 PM   #15
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classic! funny as h$ll
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      10-31-2007, 03:07 AM   #16
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ahaha yeah! this has to be one of the very few times we pulled this off correctly. GOOD JOB TEAM!

thanks spool for backing up on post # 3 if u didnt follow, we wouldnt have been able to get it right lol some one would post like: kiemyster wtf? this is a repost.

hence, screwing up our thing.
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