Who here is married or in a relationship?

ddk632 · 08-22-2014, 10:07 AM

^^

I agree with your post but I also think the reason he is getting flack is because he opened with "I sold my BMW for my fiancé" followed by "she has my balls" or something to that effect.

If you ask me that is opening yourself up to get flack especially here in OT, but in any conversation among friends, if you lay that down, you're going to get called out on it.

Amirsm3 · 08-22-2014, 10:21 AM

Married before and she liked my car hobby. She said it was easy to get me christmas/birthday presents

Girlfriend now, though, doesn't really like it. I don't care for her handbag addiction either, but since we don't have joint accounts or even live together, I feel like it's a non-issue.

Joekerr · 08-22-2014, 10:24 AM

^

Fair enough, take your point. I read the "she has my balls" in jest, but we really don't know. Sure enough, if that were my buddy and he said that meaning it, he'd be called out on it. But if it were just a joke, I'd take it as such...actions though speak louder than words!

Nkc · 08-22-2014, 11:02 AM

Joe Kerr awfully serious lately.

P1 · 08-22-2014, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nkc

Joe Kerr awfully serious lately.

I enjoy it; gives everything a nice balance.

Sandman614 · 08-22-2014, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amirsm3

we don't have joint accounts

Be smart: don't ever change this.

Joekerr · 08-22-2014, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nkc

Joe Kerr awfully serious lately.

I'm bipolar.

(kidding of course, and in the vein of being so serious lately, no offense to those who actually suffer from that)

UncleWede · 08-22-2014, 02:35 PM

Billup, I sense there is some repressed artist that should come out. I had forgotten how good you were with those pics.

Amirsm3 · 08-22-2014, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandman614

Be smart: don't ever change this.

I learned my lesson with my marriage. It was a clean break, but having no joint accounts would have saved us a couple hours of paperwork and going back and forth to the banks we had accounts in.

Taskmaster · 08-22-2014, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litos

forgot to add it, but you bring up a good point...

DO NOT, under any circumstances, find a chick that has the potential to get gross.....

because the biggest contributor to Erectile Dysfunction is having a gross wife....

find a guy that "allegedly" has ED and introduce him to a chick that looks better than his gross wife and his ED magically disappears.....

Litos, if you ever come out to FL, I'll hook up up with the best Jerk Chicken in the area and some good beer.

P1 · 08-22-2014, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandman614

Be smart: don't ever change this.

Married for a decade, still have separate accounts. Works great. There are no reasons for having one single account.

Razzy · 08-25-2014, 03:50 AM

I can relate Billup. Hang in there mate. I too find it hard to get over my previous relationship. Too many issues and problems arose once the honeymoon period had ended.

I do feel like relapsing and doing something I shouldn't but you must hold strong. In the end only you know the full extent of why you made the decision you did. People on the internet should not fully sway your decision of either A) getting back or B) moving on.

In the end, niether decision is easy. My scenario was a little similar to yours. Constant fights and differences of opinion. She also had a huge temper and had a hard time being calm and speaking humanely. I am more collected and precise in my words and attitude.

It's the risk we take when in a relationship. Hell I'm about your age as well. Eerily similar.

GB-335xiCoupe · 08-25-2014, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P1et

Married for a decade, still have separate accounts. Works great. There are no reasons for having one single account.

+1,000,000. Zero fights about money.

Billup · 08-25-2014, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Razzy

I can relate Billup. Hang in there mate. I too find it hard to get over my previous relationship. Too many issues and problems arose once the honeymoon period had ended.

I do feel like relapsing and doing something I shouldn't but you must hold strong. In the end only you know the full extent of why you made the decision you did. People on the internet should not fully sway your decision of either A) getting back or B) moving on.

In the end, niether decision is easy. My scenario was a little similar to yours. Constant fights and differences of opinion. She also had a huge temper and had a hard time being calm and speaking humanely. I am more collected and precise in my words and attitude.

It's the risk we take when in a relationship. Hell I'm about your age as well. Eerily similar.

It sucks, because even though the extent of how we allowed things to escalate, for no reason, she is still my best friend. This weekend has been fucking hard. That's an understatement too. Today is going to be crap. I really don't know what to do or what to think right now.

GB-335xiCoupe · 08-25-2014, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billup

It sucks, because even though the extent of how we allowed things to escalate, for no reason, she is still my best friend. This weekend has been fucking hard. That's an understatement too. Today is going to be crap. I really don't know what to do or what to think right now.

Here's my advice: With all due respect to all the fellow posters who are providing some relatively sound advice, don't rely on an internet forum for relationship/marital advice. Ask people who know you, people who have a vested interest in your future.

Billup · 08-25-2014, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GB-335xiCoupe

Here's my advice: With all due respect to all the fellow posters who are providing some relatively sound advice, don't rely on an internet forum for relationship/marital advice. Ask people who know you, people who have a vested interest in your future.

I don't rely on strangers for advice, but I will take others experiences into account and use that to evaluate my own situation. Being my first REAL relationship, I have nothing to compare against. I did it because I knew it would be the best decision for both of us, however, there is still going to be hurt, because I know she could have changed, I just don't know why she didn't.

It took me a long time to muster up the courage to do this, but I'm still going to have battling feelings of highs and lows, and wondering if this really was the right thing to do.

Nkc · 08-25-2014, 08:55 AM

Bro sorry to hear. Many things you can do and I'm not here to tell you them or my experiences. You're a big boy and you'll eventually man up and get thru it.

Cheer up and draw me something. Like for reals.

Billup · 08-25-2014, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nkc

Bro sorry to hear. Many things you can do and I'm not here to tell you them or my experiences. You're a big boy and you'll eventually man up and get thru it.

Cheer up and draw me something. Like for reals.

It's all good, I appreciate everyones concern. I just need to muscle through it and just take things as they come. I know the hardest is to come, and I don't care to seek out anything, just going to take some time to myself and think about what I could do better and go from there.

I'll mock something up soon, just need to find the motivation and get my mind clear.

Litos · 08-25-2014, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAxiom

Litos, if you ever come out to FL, I'll hook up up with the best Jerk Chicken in the area and some good beer.

I've never been to Florida and I don't drink...

BUT, I can throw down some Dr. Peppers with the best of'em !!!!!

Litos · 08-25-2014, 10:32 AM

wife and I have separate accounts too...

funny thing is that she still holds a debit card from MY account with her name on it HAHA !!!

...for emergencies and shit...

and in most situations "shit" can be clearly defined as junk food, new shoes for the kids, a nice smelling Yankee Candle(s), a sun hat for the beach, a detail for her 392 Challenger, street tacos and/or Little Mermaid Pop Action Figures to keep at her desk at work.......

P1 · 08-25-2014, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litos

I've never been to Florida and I don't drink...

BUT, I can throw down some Dr. Peppers with the best of'em !!!!!

Why don't you drink?

Litos · 08-25-2014, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P1et

Why don't you drink?

never acquired the taste for it...

I think beer tastes like shit and I can't stomach any kind of mixed drinks...

it's gross to me....

when we eat BBQ and chill at my dad's house, I drink water or Gatorade or some kind of bottled juice drink....

the last time any alcohol has touched my lips was in 2010 in Disneyland when my wife and I made a pact to get drunk in Disneyland together.....

we failed hard....we both took 3 or 4 sips and gave up....

08-22-2014, 10:07 AM	#199
ddk632 Chief Senior Executive Managing VP of Orange Sales 599 Rep 2,578 Posts Drives: 17 BMW F87 M2 6MT MG HBDGR ! Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Aventura, FL iTrader: (2)	^^ I agree with your post but I also think the reason he is getting flack is because he opened with "I sold my BMW for my fiancé" followed by "she has my balls" or something to that effect. If you ask me that is opening yourself up to get flack especially here in OT, but in any conversation among friends, if you lay that down, you're going to get called out on it.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-22-2014, 10:21 AM	#200
Amirsm3 Brigadier General 514 Rep 3,482 Posts Drives: 2011 Space Grey e90 M3 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Williams/Flagstaff, AZ iTrader: (3)	Married before and she liked my car hobby. She said it was easy to get me christmas/birthday presents Girlfriend now, though, doesn't really like it. I don't care for her handbag addiction either, but since we don't have joint accounts or even live together, I feel like it's a non-issue. __________________ 2011 e90 M3 Space Grey DCT ZCP- eAs, BMW Performance, Agency Power, Macht Schnell, iND, Milltek, Volk, Challenge, Stoptech, Ohlins BMWCCA:518970
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08-22-2014, 10:24 AM	#201
Joekerr Banned 7922 Rep 1,923 Posts Drives: 2017 Audi S6 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Toronto, ON iTrader: (0)	^ Fair enough, take your point. I read the "she has my balls" in jest, but we really don't know. Sure enough, if that were my buddy and he said that meaning it, he'd be called out on it. But if it were just a joke, I'd take it as such...actions though speak louder than words!
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-22-2014, 11:02 AM	#202
Nkc NOOB 1607 Rep 1,356 Posts Drives: Cars Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: @BMWclassicdivision iTrader: (0)	Joe Kerr awfully serious lately. __________________ @BMWclassicdivision
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08-22-2014, 02:35 PM	#206
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 18454 Rep 9,428 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	Billup, I sense there is some repressed artist that should come out. I had forgotten how good you were with those pics.
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08-25-2014, 03:50 AM	#210
Razzy Lieutenant 262 Rep 509 Posts Drives: N/A Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ontario, Canada iTrader: (0)	I can relate Billup. Hang in there mate. I too find it hard to get over my previous relationship. Too many issues and problems arose once the honeymoon period had ended. I do feel like relapsing and doing something I shouldn't but you must hold strong. In the end only you know the full extent of why you made the decision you did. People on the internet should not fully sway your decision of either A) getting back or B) moving on. In the end, niether decision is easy. My scenario was a little similar to yours. Constant fights and differences of opinion. She also had a huge temper and had a hard time being calm and speaking humanely. I am more collected and precise in my words and attitude. It's the risk we take when in a relationship. Hell I'm about your age as well. Eerily similar.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-25-2014, 08:55 AM	#215
Nkc NOOB 1607 Rep 1,356 Posts Drives: Cars Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: @BMWclassicdivision iTrader: (0)	Bro sorry to hear. Many things you can do and I'm not here to tell you them or my experiences. You're a big boy and you'll eventually man up and get thru it. Cheer up and draw me something. Like for reals.
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08-25-2014, 10:32 AM	#218
Litos Banned 222 Rep 2,991 Posts Drives: 2012 Challenger RT Junk Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Houston/Pearland iTrader: (1)	wife and I have separate accounts too... funny thing is that she still holds a debit card from MY account with her name on it HAHA !!! ...for emergencies and shit... and in most situations "shit" can be clearly defined as junk food, new shoes for the kids, a nice smelling Yankee Candle(s), a sun hat for the beach, a detail for her 392 Challenger, street tacos and/or Little Mermaid Pop Action Figures to keep at her desk at work.......
	Appreciate 0 Quote