[firstkill]

one weekend trip a month can easily break 1k mark.

so if i pay one, and she pays one then we both will be over the 1k mark.

fk

[Quick6EF]

Originally Posted by Jaypod

Unless you are still dating your ex - how is this relevant to this thread?

brb getting mad about relevance in OT

[Notion-Za]

I don't get her a gift every month but I break the bank every february!

Her birthday, our anniversary and valentines day!

Rookie error by me

[Blayne]

Originally Posted by Notion-Za

I don't get her a gift every month but I break the bank every february!

Her birthday, our anniversary and valentines day!

Rookie error by me

Well break up with her n get back her in a few months, it'll solve one thing

[Alpine Whiteboy]

Hard d*ck and bubblegum - $10 monthly...

[jasonn]

I was just thinking about how much I spent on my GF recently and I remembered this thread I made 2 years ago when I was more strapped for cash.

At least for me, the expectations rose exponentially as I made more money. In the past two months, I've purchased/obtained for my GF:

• Prada Sunglasses - $220
• Gucci Wallet - $400
• Chanel Bag - $4500
• New X1 Lease - ongoing monthly payment of $478
• Engagement Ring - $30k for 2 ct vvs2, F color. Custom setting was $2k. But apparently, that's the norm. On FB I see 2+ ct engagement rings all the times in pics by my friends like it's nothing. I guess I still have a long way to go. Took me almost 2 years to save $40k in the bank.

[sasha1015]

Originally Posted by Oregano123

there's no option for $1,000+ ??

i pay alimony of about 130k each year

kinda wish i was your x wifey... hahahaha

[kihun]

Originally Posted by ejazbmw

asian girls are so expensive smh

indeed

[Comet]

Originally Posted by jasonn

I was just thinking about how much I spent on my GF recently and I remembered this thread I made 2 years ago when I was more strapped for cash.

At least for me, the expectations rose exponentially as I made more money. In the past two months, I've purchased/obtained for my GF:

• Prada Sunglasses - $220
• Gucci Wallet - $400
• Chanel Bag - $4500
• New X1 Lease - ongoing monthly payment of $478
• Engagement Ring - $30k for 2 ct vvs2, F color. Custom setting was $2k. But apparently, that's the norm. On FB I see 2+ ct engagement rings all the times in pics by my friends like it's nothing. I guess I still have a long way to go. Took me almost 2 years to save $40k in the bank.

if it's a 2+ct ring that is yellow, it will cost a lot less.
You bought a colorless diamond which is more expensive
Cut, Color, Clarity, Carat is the order of importance.
Most people don't know or care for that and think "OMG look at the size of that rock". So you could probably get 10 rings that are yellow and flawed for the price of yours. Don't worry about it.

[amanda hor$t]

zero (though i'm single).

all i got is a house.

[Templar]

^ spends money on hookers instead.

Anyway, I spend money on my fiance, but she spends money on me too, so it probably evens out more than you'd think. I probably spend a little more on her than she does on me, but I also make more money, so it's cool.

[kevinbahnz]

0-$100/month
been together 7 years married for 5 Stay at home mom.
I have 2 kids, Son is 16, daughter is 5.

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by jasonn

I was just thinking about how much I spent on my GF recently and I remembered this thread I made 2 years ago when I was more strapped for cash.

At least for me, the expectations rose exponentially as I made more money. In the past two months, I've purchased/obtained for my GF:

• Prada Sunglasses - $220
• Gucci Wallet - $400
• Chanel Bag - $4500
• New X1 Lease - ongoing monthly payment of $478
• Engagement Ring - $30k for 2 ct vvs2, F color. Custom setting was $2k. But apparently, that's the norm. On FB I see 2+ ct engagement rings all the times in pics by my friends like it's nothing. I guess I still have a long way to go. Took me almost 2 years to save $40k in the bank.

I'm sorry but that seems insane to me. Does your girl work?

If your girl has "expectations" of gifts, you're not with the right girl. This might be your "courting" pahse but it's not sustainable. See above with the guy paying $130k/yr in alimony.

[jasonn]

Originally Posted by Comet

if it's a 2+ct ring that is yellow, it will cost a lot less.
You bought a colorless diamond which is more expensive
Cut, Color, Clarity, Carat is the order of importance.
Most people don't know or care for that and think "OMG look at the size of that rock". So you could probably get 10 rings that are yellow and flawed for the price of yours. Don't worry about it.

Thanks a lot, feel a lot better! My girl doesn't keep up with the Jones', she goes by her own standard. But when I make big purchases at personal sacrifice I want to feel good about it, so I hope I do better than others. Didn't feel so good when I saw everyone else doing the same. Yeah her happiness should be all that matters but what can I say lol.

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

I'm sorry but that seems insane to me. Does your girl work?

If your girl has "expectations" of gifts, you're not with the right girl. This might be your "courting" pahse but it's not sustainable. See above with the guy paying $130k/yr in alimony.

Haha you are right but I'll attempt to clarify anyway. When I was making very little she was with me & arguably happy. She talked about all the things she wanted if I ever made more money. Now she actually wants them.

For example, she is dreaming about a Birkin now. I can't spend $15k on a purse like it's nothing so I'm probably a good 3-5 years from there assuming positive growth in my career. On the other hand, if I were to fall on hard times, I am certain she would happily sell her personal property to help me out.

Basically, I think I've cracked the female code: A woman wants what is most sacred to you. She wants your sacrifice. If time & attention is most valuable, then she wants your time & attention. If money is most valuable then she wants your money.

So as long as I am sacrificing what is most valuable to me for her, she is happy...lol.

[kits135i]

Got to take care of your lady. Make her feel special every day. This takes time and money.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by kits135i

Got to take care of your lady. Make her feel special every day. This takes time and money.

Time, yes. But if you think it takes money, you're doing it wrong.

The real task is to understand what makes your wife / GF feel special. If spending $3k per month on her is what does it you should move on or not propose. That expectation won't bode well for you in 10 years.

[keepittrill]

A woman wants you to make sacrifices...I actually think he's on to something! Haha

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Time, yes. But if you think it takes money, you're doing it wrong.

The real task is to understand what makes your wife / GF feel special. If spending $3k per month on her is what does it you should move on or not propose. That expectation won't bode well for you in 10 years.

This.

Let me ask the OP this question: If you were to stop buying her all of these things right now without any change in your career or earnings, how would she react? You also dodged the question about whether or not she works.

My wife really wants a Cartier love bracelet but I've made it abundantly clear that a $5,000 gift just isn't happening. I splurged on her engagement ring and paid for our entire wedding and honeymoon myself but those are major life events. If you're spending $4,500 on a Chanel bag 'just because', my only advice is to be very careful in the future. Those things just should not be a necessity or an expectation in any relationship.

[kits135i]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Time, yes. But if you think it takes money, you're doing it wrong.

The real task is to understand what makes your wife / GF feel special. If spending $3k per month on her is what does it you should move on or not propose. That expectation won't bode well for you in 10 years.

I do not feel I'm doing it wrong as she does not expect it. So if she expected it like your example I would understand. I do it to show that I thought of her. This is because I'm terrible at know how to do it in another way. I went to the store so I got some flowers. I take her to something she was talking about during the week. Or she really had a need for something but cant get it for herself or whatever the case is. I just do it. Maybe I'm just too nice. Maybe I'm stupid. But one thing I know from my last failed marrage that ended in divorce is I did not provide enough time or effort. So maybe this time I am going overboard because I do not want to loose this one.

[kits135i]

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

This.

Let me ask the OP this question: If you were to stop buying her all of these things right now without any change in your career or earnings, how would she react? You also dodged the question about whether or not she works.

My wife really wants a Cartier love bracelet but I've made it abundantly clear that a $5,000 gift just isn't happening. I splurged on her engagement ring and paid for our entire wedding and honeymoon myself but those are major life events. If you're spending $4,500 on a Chanel bag 'just because', my only advice is to be very careful in the future. Those things just should not be a necessity or an expectation in any relationship.

I guess I don't get what you are saying. But here is how I read it. You are saying its pointless to work hard and have zero nice things to show for it? You are worried she is going to take your gifs and leave you, so you would never buy her nice things because no relationship "needs" them. My take is a 4500 Chanel bag will last the rest of a persons life and then some. So would a Cartier bracelet. Sure you can be cheap and buy a Walmart handbag or bracelet and save thousands, but it will only last a few months to a year max. So after replacing them time and time in your lifetime you spent more money than just buying the nice object to begin with.

[MidwestGolfBum]

Originally Posted by kits135i

I guess I don't get what you are saying. But here is how I read it. You are saying its pointless to work hard and have zero nice things to show for it? You are worried she is going to take your gifs and leave you, so you would never buy her nice things because no relationship "needs" them. My take is a 4500 Chanel bag will last the rest of a persons life and then some. So would a Cartier bracelet. Sure you can be cheap and buy a Walmart handbag or bracelet and save thousands, but it will only last a few months to a year max. So after replacing them time and time in your lifetime you spent more money than just buying the nice object to begin with.

No, what they are saying is that their significant others could give a rats ass less if they have these nice possessions as it isn't what defines their relationship. Sure, there is a want, but that doesn't mean that they are going to up and leave because they didn't get some expensive gift they want. They are just as happy to spend time with that person and have to need to give them things so they are happy.

You continue to avoid if she works, as well.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by keepittrill

A woman wants you to make sacrifices...I actually think he's on to something! Haha

love languages. Figure our the woman's love language and your job is much easier. Knowing is half the battle.

My wife for instance. I used to buy her many small inexpensive items early on in the relationship. When it seemed like they weren't making her happy anymore i started buying more expensive gifts. When that didn't work i started figuring out what makes her happy. Once i found out that that doing the dishes and laundry (before there is a HUGE pile) makes her feel loved, i stopped buying crap. Washing her car, cleaning her bike(s)... basically doing things for her that she would otherwise have to do, makes her day. Figuring out what makes her tick unveiled that just choosing dinner without the whole "what do you want for dinner" crap makes her very happy. These small things go along way and now when i bring home an inexpensive thoughtful gift it means alot more to her. It also makes me happier to buy her something expensive for say our 10 year anniversary and it means much more to her.

Dropping $4k on a bag for no reason makes everything less meaningful. However, if you come from a wealthy family and have stacks of cash, for the women you'll date, hardly anything you buy for them will have that much meaning.

So even if girls like being showered with that garbage, it may not make them feel loved. Save some money and figure out the woman.