[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Ahem....aren't you actively pursuing someone else?

Not gonna pursue someone who doesn't want to get caught

[IllSic_Design]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Not gonna pursue someone who doesn't want to get caught

dude.... if you think she doesn't want to be caught by all that you have told us in the dating thread then you'll be single for the rest of your life, unless you have been withholding info.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Real Dodger

.....to impress my cousin. She lives in the financial district. I'm already going to ABC kitchen and Morandi.

Thanks in advance for any good ideas!

Pm lemetier and tell him Anna needs a huge favor. If he stiffs you on tips, tell him after Africa he'll owe me at least three back rubs and a barrel of Vaseline anyway so that 3 rubs could be paid right here.

Sorry, can't help you personally. Lemmie will handle this.

[Run Silent]

Originally Posted by Lups

Pm lemetier and tell him Anna needs a huge favor. If he stiffs you on tips, tell him after Africa he'll owe me at least three back rubs and a barrel of Vaseline anyway so that 3 bucks could be paid right here.

Sorry, can't help you personally. Lemmie will handle this.

WTF. Do I even want to know?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by usshelena725

WTF. Do I even want to know?

Prolly not. It sounds way too cooler when written like that than what the reality is.

I can lie for you if you need it? Hell, my ego could benefit from it too.

Oh look, three am, I'll do the cool thing of sleeping now.

[lemetier]

Originally Posted by Lups

Pm lemetier and tell him Anna needs a huge favor. If he stiffs you on tips, tell him after Africa he'll owe me at least three back rubs and a barrel of Vaseline anyway so that 3 rubs could be paid right here.

Sorry, can't help you personally. Lemmie will handle this.

Seemed to be needed urgently yesterday and usshelena725 had already suggested Uncle Boons and I doubted secret ortolan would have been appropriate.

Originally Posted by usshelena725

WTF. Do I even want to know?

She really wants to do a crazy road trip. Where the post adventure back rubs and Vaseline come into play :

Originally Posted by Lups

Prolly not. It sounds way too cooler when written like that than what the reality is.

I can lie for you if you need it? Hell, my ego could benefit from it too.

Oh look, three am, I'll do the cool thing of sleeping now.

Go to sleep. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this $1.35M bill. Maybe I need the Vaseline.

[Captain Blood]

Originally Posted by lemetier

Seemed to be needed urgently yesterday and usshelena725 had already suggested Uncle Boons and I doubted secret ortolan would have been appropriate.

She really wants to do a crazy road trip. Where the post adventure back rubs and Vaseline come into play :

Go to sleep. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this $1.35M bill. Maybe I need the Vaseline.

Will I need Vaseline in Manhattan? Never needed it before......

[Lups]

Originally Posted by lemetier

Seemed to be needed urgently yesterday and usshelena725 had already suggested Uncle Boons and I doubted secret ortolan would have been appropriate.



She really wants to do a crazy road trip. Where the post adventure back rubs and Vaseline come into play :



Go to sleep. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this $1.35M bill. Maybe I need the Vaseline.

Lip balm, I use Vaseline for it!

Oh for fucks sake Lemmie! You just made our epic road trip seem like a perverted one! That's my job! Mine!

[Darth One]

Originally Posted by Lups

Pm lemetier and tell him Anna needs a huge favor. If he stiffs you on tips, tell him after Africa he'll owe me at least three back rubs and a barrel of Vaseline anyway so that 3 rubs could be paid right here.

Sorry, can't help you personally. Lemmie will handle this.

Three back rubs and a barrel of Vaseline?? Sounds like he owes you for the privilege, not the other way round

[P1]

I've always had good experiences at Carbone...

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Darth One

Three back rubs and a barrel of Vaseline?? Sounds like he owes you for the privilege, not the other way round

Ha!

Sorry, I forgot to answer this.

So here is the story.

A while back poor lemetier was forced to become my friend. The man has endured family gatherings, dead dogs, one minor renovation project on top of all the shit I come up with daily.

I've been a disabled potato all autumn and he has endured my whining. The man is quite smart and he knows I'm so selfabsorbed that I need to be planning something just to plan something to stay sane here on my couch.

Anyway, thanks to this tiny health crisis wave we've endured, he let me plan a road trip for us. I think he puts me on speaker phone and goes off to do anything but listening because he is smart like that.

He picked a car, and we haven't actually decided a location since he can't find a map to throw a dart on but I think the Rolls Royce he picked ain't going to be a jewel of the roads.

A few weeks back I managed to get all my back muscles to cramp simultaneously. I was in bed rest for a week since the muscle relaxants only got me up and to go back to work, so I spent a week calculating supplies for different routes. We ain't doing Europe or North America, that leaves us with Australia, Africa, Asia and Antarctic since South America was banned for being too sexy.

So okay, with some mild cramps and a bored mind, I calculated just how possible it would be for us to get from a city to city in his stupid car pick if both of us lost our wallets. I doubt my wool socks would work as a solid currency and again, I was bored so I calculated how many blowjobs it would take to fuel that car enough to get around. We might need to eat road kill with this plan, but I was told by my sister that my lips being huge is going to be a problem with this fueling method. Apparently I will be subjected to lip balm, a thing I thought a person could live without.

Anyway, my side muscles and the back have gotten better, but the blowjobs financed plan for traveling through a continental with no cash or cards in an RR from the seventies was how I spent my sick days.

I never read what I wrote to Lemmie the night before, WhatsApp is the worst. I wouldn't have the guts to even to apologize to him when I've been at my worst if I did but it truly takes a real friend to stand by you while you're being insane and roll with it.

I'm not sure where the rubs come in, I think that's my equally pestered sister influencing the planning.

This should be an educational story to you all why you shouldn't talk to strangers.

[lemetier]

Originally Posted by Lups

Ha!

Sorry, I forgot to answer this.

So here is the story.

A while back poor lemetier was forced to become my friend. The man has endured family gatherings, dead dogs, one minor renovation project on top of all the shit I come up with daily.

I've been a disabled potato all autumn and he has endured my whining. The man is quite smart and he knows I'm so selfabsorbed that I need to be planning something just to plan something to stay sane here on my couch.

Anyway, thanks to this tiny health crisis wave we've endured, he let me plan a road trip for us. I think he puts me on speaker phone and goes off to do anything but listening because he is smart like that.

He picked a car, and we haven't actually decided a location since he can't find a map to throw a dart on but I think the Rolls Royce he picked ain't going to be a jewel of the roads.

A few weeks back I managed to get all my back muscles to cramp simultaneously. I was in bed rest for a week since the muscle relaxants only got me up and to go back to work, so I spent a week calculating supplies for different routes. We ain't doing Europe or North America, that leaves us with Australia, Africa, Asia and Antarctic since South America was banned for being too sexy.

So okay, with some mild cramps and a bored mind, I calculated just how possible it would be for us to get from a city to city in his stupid car pick if both of us lost our wallets. I doubt my wool socks would work as a solid currency and again, I was bored so I calculated how many blowjobs it would take to fuel that car enough to get around. We might need to eat road kill with this plan, but I was told by my sister that my lips being huge is going to be a problem with this fueling method. Apparently I will be subjected to lip balm, a thing I thought a person could live without.

Anyway, my side muscles and the back have gotten better, but the blowjobs financed plan for traveling through a continental with no cash or cards in an RR from the seventies was how I spent my sick days.

I never read what I wrote to Lemmie the night before, WhatsApp is the worst. I wouldn't have the guts to even to apologize to him when I've been at my worst if I did but it truly takes a real friend to stand by you while you're being insane and roll with it.

I'm not sure where the rubs come in, I think that's my equally pestered sister influencing the planning.

This should be an educational story to you all why you shouldn't talk to strangers.

Oh....

[Lups]

Originally Posted by lemetier

Oh....

When I got that pic via WhatsApp I thought you meant were doing some desert miles.

Hey I'm not THAT bad!

[lemetier]

Originally Posted by Lups

When I got that pic via WhatsApp I thought you meant were doing some desert miles.

Hey I'm not THAT bad!

Ermmm....

[Darth One]

Originally Posted by Lups

Ha!

Sorry, I forgot to answer this.

So here is the story.

A while back poor lemetier was forced to become my friend. The man has endured family gatherings, dead dogs, one minor renovation project on top of all the shit I come up with daily.

I've been a disabled potato all autumn and he has endured my whining. The man is quite smart and he knows I'm so selfabsorbed that I need to be planning something just to plan something to stay sane here on my couch.

Anyway, thanks to this tiny health crisis wave we've endured, he let me plan a road trip for us. I think he puts me on speaker phone and goes off to do anything but listening because he is smart like that.

He picked a car, and we haven't actually decided a location since he can't find a map to throw a dart on but I think the Rolls Royce he picked ain't going to be a jewel of the roads.

A few weeks back I managed to get all my back muscles to cramp simultaneously. I was in bed rest for a week since the muscle relaxants only got me up and to go back to work, so I spent a week calculating supplies for different routes. We ain't doing Europe or North America, that leaves us with Australia, Africa, Asia and Antarctic since South America was banned for being too sexy.

So okay, with some mild cramps and a bored mind, I calculated just how possible it would be for us to get from a city to city in his stupid car pick if both of us lost our wallets. I doubt my wool socks would work as a solid currency and again, I was bored so I calculated how many blowjobs it would take to fuel that car enough to get around. We might need to eat road kill with this plan, but I was told by my sister that my lips being huge is going to be a problem with this fueling method. Apparently I will be subjected to lip balm, a thing I thought a person could live without.

Anyway, my side muscles and the back have gotten better, but the blowjobs financed plan for traveling through a continental with no cash or cards in an RR from the seventies was how I spent my sick days.

I never read what I wrote to Lemmie the night before, WhatsApp is the worst. I wouldn't have the guts to even to apologize to him when I've been at my worst if I did but it truly takes a real friend to stand by you while you're being insane and roll with it.

I'm not sure where the rubs come in, I think that's my equally pestered sister influencing the planning.

This should be an educational story to you all why you shouldn't talk to strangers.

You are the best. That story delivered beyond my expectations

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Darth One

You are the best. That story delivered beyond my expectations

You're quite alone with your view but I'll be sure yo mention Lemmie that the next time I bother him while I'm bored. He should be made aware of this.

[Captain Blood]

Update:

Doing this tonight.
We ate at Morandi in the West Village last night. Wow!!!!!

[Run Silent]

Originally Posted by Real Dodger

Update:

Doing this tonight.
We ate at Morandi in the West Village last night. Wow!!!!!

Where you going this evening? Please say Uncle Boons!

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Lups

Ha!


He picked a car, and we haven't actually decided a location since he can't find a map to throw a dart on but I think the Rolls Royce he picked ain't going to be a jewel of the roads.

A few weeks back I managed to get all my back muscles to cramp simultaneously. I was in bed rest for a week since the muscle relaxants only got me up and to go back to work, so I spent a week calculating supplies for different routes. We ain't doing Europe or North America, that leaves us with Australia, Africa, Asia and Antarctic since South America was banned for being too sexy.

So okay, with some mild cramps and a bored mind, I calculated just how possible it would be for us to get from a city to city in his stupid car pick if both of us lost our wallets. I doubt my wool socks would work as a solid currency and again, I was bored so I calculated how many blowjobs it would take to fuel that car enough to get around. We might need to eat road kill with this plan, but I was told by my sister that my lips being huge is going to be a problem with this fueling method. Apparently I will be subjected to lip balm, a thing I thought a person could live without.

Anyway, my side muscles and the back have gotten better, but the blowjobs financed plan for traveling through a continental with no cash or cards in an RR from the seventies was how I spent my sick days.

Just touching on a few key points:

Dangers of suggested locations:

Antartica - the cold can kill you
Asia - The food or the king (Thailand) can kill you
Africa - Depends on the area...
Australia - Pretty much anything that moves (and probably some stuff that doesn't) can kill you.


Blowjob fueled trip in a 70's RR


As an accountant, it irks me greatly that you provided no numbers in relation to how you determined expected fuel consumption, price of fuel, distance to be traveled OR (and most importantly), what you presumed the value of a blowjob was worth depending on the locale you were in.

This is extremely important because in all these considerations, did you ever clue in lemetier that he would be the one providing the blowjobs? So the value placed here indirectly places a value on him as a person. And we know you'd never be unreasonable now don't we? This could be educational.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Just touching on a few key points:

Dangers of suggested locations:

Antartica - the cold can kill you
Asia - The food or the king (Thailand) can kill you
Africa - Depends on the area...
Australia - Pretty much anything that moves (and probably some stuff that doesn't) can kill you.


Blowjob fueled trip in a 70's RR


As an accountant, it irks me greatly that you provided no numbers in relation to how you determined expected fuel consumption, price of fuel, distance to be traveled OR (and most importantly), what you presumed the value of a blowjob was worth depending on the locale you were in.

This is extremely important because in all these considerations, did you ever clue in lemetier that he would be the one providing the blowjobs? So the value placed here indirectly places a value on him as a person. And we know you'd never be unreasonable now don't we? This could be educational.

First of all, I calculated a plan for each destination. The gas prices in each are very different and I thought we could sell some parts from the car too if needed. Their value also depends highly on the area visited. Antarctica is not known for their gas station intensity for example which can be a problem, but the marketing area is sparsely populated so a new mouth could be of higher value there. I also think I'd be an epic penguin hunter which means we could eat mcnuggets basically all the way through.

I'm sure he knows he will be the one providing the blowjobs. My mouth doesn't stay silent long enough to insert anything safely there. I just think that a quick layer of dip in Vaseline will keep my marketing instrument working!

I won't be providing numbers since I'd have to recalculate them and I hope to stay neatly enough not to get that bored for a while again. When things change, I will send you a full report for your viewing.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Lups

First of all, I calculated a plan for each destination. The gas prices in each are very different and I thought we could sell some parts from the car too if needed. Their value also depends highly on the area visited. Antarctica is not known for their gas station intensity for example which can be a problem, but the marketing area is sparsely populated so a new mouth could be of higher value there. I also think I'd be an epic penguin hunter which means we could eat mcnuggets basically all the way through.

I'm sure he knows he will be the one providing the blowjobs. My mouth doesn't stay silent long enough to insert anything safely there. I just think that a quick layer of dip in Vaseline will keep my marketing instrument working!

I won't be providing numbers since I'd have to recalculate them and I hope to stay neatly enough not to get that bored for a while again. When things change, I will send you a full report for your viewing.

Nice move on the bolded. I like that. Retains a certain mystery about poor lemetier and allows you to avoid the issue of placing a value on him and letting him know the truth (for better or worse). Well done - have you considered running for politics? The ability to answer a question without actually answering it is sort of a key skill in that field.

[Captain Blood]

I have moved to the point where I feel I can talk about this now. The cousin ditched me. She says she forgot to notate our get together on her calendar. Instead, she scheduled a federal judge for a second date. I found this out when I went to visit her in the middle of the afternoon, which had been reserved as time for me and my wife. My wife was pissed. I was also very upset. It was nice to see her after 18 years, but I didn't like being ditched like that. And things got worse after that. My wife asked me to wait for her before I went to Rockefeller Center to see the tree. I said OK. I went to find a nice place that would serve me a slice of pizza and a beer. Upon leaving my hotel, my stupid phone froze. Have no idea why it did that. It went from 59% charge, to 29% charge, to die, all within four minutes. So I was up with no navigation for my trip around The Marriott Marquis, in the past I've relied on A map, but felt like my phone would be much better than a map on this trip, before the phone died
So I end up finding a place that sold me a slice of pizza that was extraordinarily plain, a liquor store next-door sold me a pint of Belgian beer, I want to my hotel room to watch TV till my wife got out of her gala. The gala went an hour and a half over. I fell asleep. Fuck me!