[MrPrena]

For any Maritime attorneys.
Would it be illegal to go to international water and beat the sh!t out of Fred, and comeback to US soil without any charges?

[Nkc]

After seeing the pics, I have second thoughts about kicking his ass lol.

[Billup]

Originally Posted by MrPrena

I would rather have FRED than "Bragging Brad" as an in-laws.

I got all kind. Over educated scholars who are tenured. High paying S&P500 upper management type. Physicians. Scientists. etc.

I literally at them.

Every over achieved people have their own weakness on their area of field.
Last meeting with Oncologist Bragging Brad was fun. He will not be bragging about him being a physician to me any longer.

There is a Bragging Bob that's my SO's brother in law. Complete fucking douche. He was my boss at my last job. Constantly lying about anything and everything, saying he has this and that, always out of a job, stealing from the businesses he works at, his wife is bat shit crazy.

I just try to avoid him any time I go to events. Fucking ridiculous.

[2011CrazE89]

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

This is Fred. Trust me, he does not have the mental capacity to handle any type of business, let alone music business. He's all about livin that street life.

Looks like 38 year old Fred is trying to dress like he's 18. Yeah, I don't see him signing any record deals anytime soon.

[Litos]

looks like his face is quite punchable.......

[Templar]

Tough situation. It seems the entire family has just allowed his behavior.

The only real answer to this is to minimize contact with this chump. Yea, your fiance will be away from her sister, but your future sister-in-law is kind of a dumbass for keeping this shitbag around (no offense meant, but I mean come on).

Otherwise, just do what the rest of the family does unless he gets downright belligerent. In that case, you may have to physically handle business. Like you said, I wouldn't let anyone treat my family like shit and would handle it if I had to. Kicking his ass for any reason other than defending someone else is just going to look stupid and will make things awkward forever.

For me, I don't really have any issues with my wife's family. She has two brothers, one is married with a couple of kids and the other is engaged. My mother-in-law is extremely needy and bugs the hell out of my wife, but I let my wife handle it and she handles it well. The only thing that bothers me is when she stays over she babies the hell out of our two little dogs (wife had them before we married). She allows them to do all sorts of stuff we don't allow any of our dogs to do. Last week, one of the little ones was in her lap on the couch (a no-no, but it's usless telling her) and one of our adopted bigger dogs went up and put her head next to her lap. The little one went full on attack mode and bit her in the nose. Didn't do much damage, but it's the behavior that pissed me off. We told her to discipline him (i.e. smack him on the rear, say "no," and put him off the couch), but she didn't do shit and just said "oh he didn't mean it!" Fuck yea he meant it, and you just reinforced it by petting him. My wife yelled at her for a solid 30 minutes about it. I told my wife if it happens again I am going to get up and handle the dog, despite what her mom says...

Long rant, but that is the extent of my issues with family. Miniscule in proportion to what you have going on though, so I wish you luck.

[UncleWede]

Just know that even though he is not one of your groomsmen, he WILL be at your wedding table the whole night with your sis-in-law.

We have more Freidas then Freds, and on both sides. I flat out just ignore them. Some are now routinely not even invited. Drama occurs and I go into the other room to watch TV. I'm too old for JumpStreet drama, and frankly so are most of my relatives, but it still happens.

Oh, I almost forgot my other alternative: Scotch.

[bkM3]

Originally Posted by MrPrena

wow. Very similar to what i've imagined.

this is what i imagined him looking like

[John 070]

It's always been odd to me where people insisted they be a groomsman, godfather, best man, etc. Why? does Fred want the free tux and free gift? 38 and no job, well, if it's an investment banker who used to make 700k and got laid-off, I'd feel bad for them. But a musician, well, I play guitar, just know that it can't pay the bills.....

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by bkM3

this is what i imagined him looking like

You have no regrets? Like, not even a single letter?

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by Templar

Tough situation. It seems the entire family has just allowed his behavior.

This.
Prior to me and Fred's fallout, I would just tolerate his mindless chatter. Now that he's shown his true colors, I'm not taking any shit from him. The family is well aware of all of his antics, but everybody is just staying quiet and patiently waiting for Katie to realize what's going on and leave him in the gutter. It's been FIVE fuking years and she still hasn't got the light bulb.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Just know that even though he is not one of your groomsmen, he WILL be at your wedding table the whole night with your sis-in-law.

We have more Freidas then Freds, and on both sides. I flat out just ignore them. Some are now routinely not even invited. Drama occurs and I go into the other room to watch TV. I'm too old for JumpStreet drama, and frankly so are most of my relatives, but it still happens.

Oh, I almost forgot my other alternative: Scotch.

Once again, not inviting Fred will ignite the exact same drama. If you and your SO are invited to an event, but they make sure you are not invited, but your wife is, that surely should make you feel some type of way. Now, I'm sure you're a reasonable person and may take offense maybe not. Fred, will take offense. Fred will once again, disrupt the peace among the entire family because he has two carrots he can hold over all of them. Katie and the baby. He's made the grandma not see her daughter and granddaughter and he'll do it again because he knows exactly how to manipulate everyone. If he didn't have control over Katie and the baby, he'd have no ammo and we could let him rot in hell.

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

You have no regrets? Like, not even a single letter?

Haha, I wonder if that guy still has that tat? I'd never tell him about the typo.

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

Haha, I wonder if that guy still has that tat? I'd never tell him about the typo.

I'm pretty sure it washed right off... (it's from "We're the Millers")

[grimlock]

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

@grimlock that is some amazing introspective advice. I like how you put the "10%" of ruining my life! That's pretty close to how I see it, 1% a month haha.

I figured I will encounter him around 10-12 times a year and Lord knows those 10-12 times will be a royal pain in the ass, but I'll have to deal with it.

I may seem like a nice guy through this forum and for the most part I am, but remember I gave you guys the TL;DR version. I can and will hold my own if the situation arises. For example, this guy (Fred) had the audacity to yell and talk down to my (and possibly his) future mother-in-law when we had a family intervention meeting.

I turned two shades from hulk green and damn near flipped the 10 seat table to remind him he will not speak to her in that manner and will respect their household. He's VERY lucky that my future father-in-law was sleep at the time or he may have been shot. If he spoke to my mother that way, it would have ended with someone or both of us going to jail. I don't take shyt from no one when it comes to my family.

I'm still mad as hell whenever I think about it, just I no longer think of what/how I should deal with her because in reality I can't do anything (otherwise I would have done it already)
But I think it's very individual, Fred probably pisses alot of people off, just each one in different ways - maybe he is a master people piss-offer.
He's holding the baby hostage as the father - this just allows him to get away with even more because she won't break it off clean.
At this point for her, it's going to be a hard road either way - waiting for him to realise his mistakes, or if he or she decides it's just no good.
Just be glad it's not your problem, it's baggage from the past. Everyone has their past.. just make sure you're headed in the right direction.

If there is one thing you could do, is try to figure out WHY he manages to piss you off so much. He probably knows your buttons better than you do yourself.. at least that's my experience with my tormentors.
Once you realise they're just very observant, and they're doing it on purpose, congratulations you now know your buttons and are free from future emotional/psychological manipulation.
(your 'buttons' are basically what your parents/people you grew up with did to you to torment you, but you don't know it consciously, because your immature psyche automatically classified it and them as 'good' as a matter of survival. eg. if you mom always insinuated you were fat, anytime anyone else calls you fat you would be particularily hurt/pissed above and beyond someone else who's mom did not do it)

So don't let him press your buttons, and he's not your problem.

Originally Posted by MrPrena

For any Maritime attorneys.
Would it be illegal to go to international water and beat the sh!t out of Fred, and comeback to US soil without any charges?

Originally Posted by Litos

looks like his face is quite punchable.......

this

[bkM3]

this is what you need to do, call him pretending to be some famous record producer and tell him that you discovered him on youtube and you want to sign him to a record deal but he needs to move to NYC (or some other major city on the other side of the country). if he is the scumbag that you say he is then he will get on the next flight and ditch his gf in a heartbeat.

everybody wins!

[Litos]

Originally Posted by bkM3

this is what you need to do, call him pretending to be some famous record producer and tell him that you discovered him on youtube and you want to sign him to a record deal but he needs to move to NYC (or some other major city on the other side of the country). if he is the scumbag that you say he is then he will get on the next flight and ditch his gf in a heartbeat.

everybody wins!

this is the best advice in this thread...

.........but be sure to get in a face punch before he boards his flight.....

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by grimlock

If there is one thing you could do, is try to figure out WHY he manages to piss you off so much.

He's stated verbatim "You''ll regret this, I'm gonna make your life a living hell..." that was before we came to a 'resolution'. I'm almost certain he has a personality disorder. I know exactly how he tries to piss me off, but for now I'm just ignoring him. We're having family beach day this weekend, whether or not he's there doesn't bother me, but what does bother me is I actually give it thought now. I have to mentally prepare myself that I may or may not have to deal with this ass wipe.

Originally Posted by bkM3

this is what you need to do, call him pretending to be some famous record producer and tell him that you discovered him on youtube and you want to sign him to a record deal but he needs to move to NYC (or some other major city on the other side of the country). if he is the scumbag that you say he is then he will get on the next flight and ditch his gf in a heartbeat.

everybody wins!

This is an awesome idea! haha

Once his dumb ass realizes what happened, he wouldn't have any money to get back to Cali, then he'd be stranded and have to start a new life lol. I would pay all kinds of stupid money to ship him off to fuckland. Or even better, Fred island. Then all these Freds could kill each other off.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

He's stated verbatim "You''ll regret this, I'm gonna make your life a living hell..." that was before we came to a 'resolution'. I'm almost certain he has a personality disorder. I know exactly how he tries to piss me off, but for now I'm just ignoring him. We're having family beach day this weekend, whether or not he's there doesn't bother me, but what does bother me is I actually give it thought now. I have to mentally prepare myself that I may or may not have to deal with this ass wipe.



This is an awesome idea! haha

Once his dumb ass realizes what happened, he wouldn't have any money to get back to Cali, then he'd be stranded and have to start a new life lol. I would pay all kinds of stupid money to ship him off to fuckland. Or even better, Fred island. Then all these Freds could kill each other off.

This is not a new idea. In fact, Australia was used as such an island by the English to dump off all the criminals so they wouldn't have to deal with them and they could just kill each other off.

Since I'm not from Australia, I support perhaps implementing such a policy for all "Fred's" again and using Australia once again. While they may not kill themselves, there are so many poisonous creatures and plants on that island that I think the island would probably do it for us.

I'm very lucky I don't have any Fred's in my family really. There is one in-law that is plodding along the path of becoming a Fred, but he's really not there yet. And I pretty much just ignore him anyways as he really doesn't matter to me. And he returns the favour which I'm quite ok with.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Litos

ok, so from the sound of it, the ENTIRE FAMILY is giving you authorization to beat the shit out of him..

if you don't see the writing on the wall, then you're probably just scared...

I have to assume you are joking? Somewhat?

I mean, I don't know, but over here yes, certainly fights and what not go down, but in general, its more likely you'll see two people yelling at each other - an inch away from the other person's face, but neither of them will throw a punch.

The reason: Lawsuit. And that's Canada.

I can only presume in the lawsuit happy land to my south that this must be so much more prevalent? And that is why I suggest you must be joking.

Why would FWDFTL throw the first punch (the second one - A-ok because then you are just defending yourself and its game on), but not the first. By the sounds of it - FWDFTL is reasonably well established, good career, has some money in the bank, etc. This tool would just take that from him because he sounds like exactly the type to sue. Is he really worth that one beatdown? I doubt it.

So stay the course FWDFTL - don't use violence....unless say he starts it. But that's the tricky part...he has to start. And I'll bet he'll push your buttons and it will look like he's starting it, but he'll never throw the first...he will want you to do that. So stay cool, that will piss him off even more.

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

This is not a new idea. In fact, Australia was used as such an island by the English to dump off all the criminals so they wouldn't have to deal with them and they could just kill each other off.

Since I'm not from Australia, I support perhaps implementing such a policy for all "Fred's" again and using Australia once again. While they may not kill themselves, there are so many poisonous creatures and plants on that island that I think the island would probably do it for us.

I'm very lucky I don't have any Fred's in my family really. There is one in-law that is plodding along the path of becoming a Fred, but he's really not there yet. And I pretty much just ignore him anyways as he really doesn't matter to me. And he returns the favour which I'm quite ok with.

I think this is what you're referring to:

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-h...ny-established

Interesting stuff to say the least.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I have to assume you are joking? Somewhat?

I mean, I don't know, but over here yes, certainly fights and what not go down, but in general, its more likely you'll see two people yelling at each other - an inch away from the other person's face, but neither of them will throw a punch.

The reason: Lawsuit. And that's Canada.

I can only presume in the lawsuit happy land to my south that this must be so much more prevalent? And that is why I suggest you must be joking.

Why would FWDFTL throw the first punch (the second one - A-ok because then you are just defending yourself and its game on), but not the first. By the sounds of it - FWDFTL is reasonably well established, good career, has some money in the bank, etc. This tool would just take that from him because he sounds like exactly the type to sue. Is he really worth that one beatdown? I doubt it.

So stay the course FWDFTL - don't use violence....unless say he starts it. But that's the tricky part...he has to start. And I'll bet he'll push your buttons and it will look like he's starting it, but he'll never throw the first...he will want you to do that. So stay cool, that will piss him off even more.

Yes, I would not initiate any form of violence, however as you mentioned if he hits me for any reason I will annihilate thee.

As for the lawsuits, I HIGHLY doubt he would know the first step to filing a lawsuit. After they review his records, nothing would hold up in court anyways. He'd probably turn himself in...which just gave me another idea haha

Thanks for your kind words and comment.

[MrPrena]

Total D-bag looking. Good acting from Mark Young.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1171196/?ref_=tt_cl_t13

Originally Posted by bkM3

this is what i imagined him looking like

[Lups]

Originally Posted by MrPrena

For any Maritime attorneys.
Would it be illegal to go to international water and beat the sh!t out of Fred, and comeback to US soil without any charges?

If it is, you want to split the costs of a rental boat? I would gladly fly my family in for that.

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by MrPrena

Total D-bag looking. Good acting from Mark Young.

I'm gonna check this movie out, if it's on that godforsaken Netflix.

Originally Posted by Lups

If it is, you want to split the costs of a rental boat? I would gladly fly my family in for that.

Haha, looks like were gonna need a bigger boat.