[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by killershark

Yeah girls can be bestfriends with guys but it usually leads to them being bf/gf.
I'm not good with advice, but maybe you guys can work something out between each other, like she goes out with her friends til late night every 2 weeks??
Also, another question: Are you having a happy relationship with her?

haha yes i am happy 99% of the time with her.
Even though im still pretty young, i've dated many girls before and none comes close to her.
We did try to work things out. She goes out a lot less now, and i try to be more tolerant and lenient on the nights that she does.
I just wish that i could somehow manage my emotions and thoughts so that i wouldn't be bothered at all when she's out.

Thanks for trying to help buddy !

[killershark]

Originally Posted by faou4rm

haha yes i am happy 99% of the time with her.
Even though im still pretty young, i've dated many girls before and none comes close to her.
We did try to work things out. She goes out a lot less now, and i try to be more tolerant and lenient on the nights that she does.
I just wish that i could somehow manage my emotions and thoughts so that i wouldn't be bothered at all when she's out.

Thanks for trying to help buddy !

Glad to know i helped someone!
And, maybe you can manage your emotions and get used to her going out as time goes by. (hopefully u can get married??)
Well ill stay subscribed to this thread since i might need advice too.

[kyle335i]

Bro let her do what she wants bro. If she cheats on you bro there are like over a billion women out there. Bro i find it hard to think you cant find another one bro. Just dont get attached bro. Use your anger bro to get ovet her bro

[kyle335i]

Bro what you should do bro is find girls and become best friends with them. And the you can all have a slumber party and bro you can hook up your girl's friends with your new best friends and i guarantee they wont be chilling with your girl anymore bro. Once guys find girls bro they stop chillen with "best friends" bro

[Nkc]

Originally Posted by kyle335i

Bro what you should do bro is find girls and become best friends with them. And the you can all have a slumber party and bro you can hook up your girl's friends with your new best friends and i guarantee they wont be chilling with your girl anymore bro. Once guys find girls bro they stop chillen with "best friends" bro

Bro overkill bro.

[amanda hor$t]

^ perhaps, though i draw the line at marriage. dating/bf doesn't count in my book (meaning, if he didn't marry you, you're still available to someone who would)

on my end, never really looked into it, but i wouldn't be surprised. anyway, that's history.

this thread just reminds me of the bs associated with dating, which is why i don't date anymore. thanks op.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by faou4rm

Hey guys,
I visit this forum almost daily and obviously don't really post much, but I decided to give it a shot..

Anyways, I figured there are many older (I'm almost 22) guys that have experienced relationships a lot more than i have, that could possibly share their views with me

Although people may have different opinions and perspectives, i just wanted to know what you guys think about my question..

-Can a straight GUY and a straight GIRL be best friends?

I do honestly think there are exceptions to every situations, but i find it impossible to believe that guys and girls can be bestfriends in GENERAL without one side feeling some sort of attraction to another.
I do think girls have the capability of seeing guys just as friends (like a brother), but impossible for guys to do that because of our PENIS. Yeah i feel like guys can be friends with girls but it's too difficult for a guy to be spending all the time and effort into a girl just to be best friends. Yeah i may seem shady and shallow for saying that but i feel like it's the TRUTH that we never admit

I ask this question because whenever my gf and i get into arguments about her best guy friends, i always stand by my perspective. I just wanted to know what you guys think about it.


Thanks !

(if this goes well, i have some other relationship questions)

Only if one of the party is completely uninterested in the other will a true friendship commence. But if one starts wanting the other and it's not reciprocated the friendship is close to being over. So the short answer is no. Because eventually one starts wanting the other and it's hardly ever reciprocated.

You my friend need to pay way less attention to this girl. She's not the only one out there.

Originally Posted by sasha1015

im a girl and my whole entire life i had maybe one or two girl friends.. every friend that i had/have is a guy. I feel like i can relate a lot better to guys and i get along with them a lot easier than with girls.

I am only friends with them, i am not attracted to them in any sexual way.

p.s. i am not a lesbian. lol

YOU don't look at them in any sexual way, but unless you are a total unattractive cow, they are looking at you that way. Should you give any one of them the opportunity to mount up, they won't hesitate.

Of course there are exceptions to the above statement but they are few and far in between. We're talking like .0000001% won't get with you in a moments notice.


OP - In short, most guys will be friends with a girl until she gives gives him the go ahead to get with her. It's really up to the girl. If she's trust worthy, nothing will happen. If she's a drunkard and often partying with her guy friends, she's going to get banged by one of them. But don't worry, it won't mean anything.

[kyle335i]

everyone thinks they are the experts in this thread... ***** if she frustrating you find another

[upstatedoc]

[faou4rm]

Sorry guys i keep taking breaks from this thread because my relationship has been great and talking about it sometimes puts bitter taste in my mouth. I'm not the type of person to leave others hanging after starting something like this thread, so don't take it personal !

I started off the thread thinking that it'd be just a simple yes/no survey question and didn't expect so many contributions and personal advices from many of you guys. As I've said many times already, I really appreciate it!

I've actually thought over my relationship after posting and responding on this thread and i've decided that i'm in a win-win situation.

If everything does work out and things change once we both start working, etc.. then all the investment and time i spent with her will be worth it. It'd be wonderful to have her as my partner for the rest of my life. She's a keeper and i don't mind going all in because i'm in love and believe that she's the one for me. The truth is, the friendship issue is prevalent in every relationship and in every girl that i will meet. I just happened to land the one with majority of guy friends but it's not problematic enough to ruin my relationship yet (hopefully never).

If things go south, i no longer wanted to hold onto her and make her suffer so i'll be sticking to the saying "If you truly love her, you would let her go" and just move on. It's kinda cheesy but the beauty of it all is that life goes on (plenty of other fishes in the sea).

So i'm just sticking to the whole "go with the flow" thing and just continue to work on my relationship.

Thanks again for hearing me out guys!

[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by kyle335i

everyone thinks they are the experts in this thread... ***** if she frustrating you find another

haha it's funny because I used the say the exact same thing to other people..
Until i happen to find a girl worth losing sleep over

[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by MP0WER

Only if one of the party is completely uninterested in the other will a true friendship commence. But if one starts wanting the other and it's not reciprocated the friendship is close to being over. So the short answer is no. Because eventually one starts wanting the other and it's hardly ever reciprocated.

You my friend need to pay way less attention to this girl. She's not the only one out there.


YOU don't look at them in any sexual way, but unless you are a total unattractive cow, they are looking at you that way. Should you give any one of them the opportunity to mount up, they won't hesitate.

Of course there are exceptions to the above statement but they are few and far in between. We're talking like .0000001% won't get with you in a moments notice.


OP - In short, most guys will be friends with a girl until she gives gives him the go ahead to get with her. It's really up to the girl. If she's trust worthy, nothing will happen. If she's a drunkard and often partying with her guy friends, she's going to get banged by one of them. But don't worry, it won't mean anything.

haha it was fun reading your response !
I automatically assume that everyone on this thread is older than me.
Seeing how you agree with my perspective reassures me that i'm not just ignorant and stubborn 21 year old that can't abide to the gf's view

[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by R Grubba Balls

^ perhaps, though i draw the line at marriage. dating/bf doesn't count in my book (meaning, if he didn't marry you, you're still available to someone who would)

on my end, never really looked into it, but i wouldn't be surprised. anyway, that's history.

this thread just reminds me of the bs associated with dating, which is why i don't date anymore. thanks op.

Ahh yess
If things go south with my gf i'm afraid ima never want to date and go through the same things again !!

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by faou4rm

haha it was fun reading your response !
I automatically assume that everyone on this thread is older than me.
Seeing how you agree with my perspective reassures me that i'm not just ignorant and stubborn 21 year old that can't abide to the gf's view

Don't miss read my post. If your GF doesn't want to cheat, she won't and no amount of guy friends will change this. Your attitude plays a big role in weather or not she is willing to cheat. Often times, having an attitude of, I don't care if she cheats on me, will make her not want to. If all you're worried about is her cheating on you, she likely will.

Look at it like this. If she's going to cheat on you there is nothing you can do about it so there is no sense in worrying about it. If she does cheat, you don't want to be with here anymore because she obviously doesn't want to be with (just) you and you'll break up. With this attitude you're not up her ass about staying true to you. This makes her feel like you love and trust her, which, if she's not a dirty whore; makes her feel closer to you thus less likely to cheat.

Women cheat for different reasons then men. Most men cheat because a female will touch his penis. Most women cheat because she's not emotionally connected or satisfied with her man. Clandestine meetings behind her significant other's back often feels like an emotional connection. Or cheating is simply her accepting new job applications. Either way, make your woman feel loved and trusted and the chances of her cheating go way down. Always freaking out about her guy friends poking her as soon as you turn your head doesn't make her feel this way.

BTW, i had my driver's license since before you were born.

[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by MP0WER

Don't miss read my post. If your GF doesn't want to cheat, she won't and no amount of guy friends will change this. Your attitude plays a big role in weather or not she is willing to cheat. Often times, having an attitude of, I don't care if she cheats on me, will make her not want to. If all you're worried about is her cheating on you, she likely will.

Look at it like this. If she's going to cheat on you there is nothing you can do about it so there is no sense in worrying about it. If she does cheat, you don't want to be with here anymore because she obviously doesn't want to be with (just) you and you'll break up. With this attitude you're not up her ass about staying true to you. This makes her feel like you love and trust her, which, if she's not a dirty whore; makes her feel closer to you thus less likely to cheat.

Women cheat for different reasons then men. Most men cheat because a female will touch his penis. Most women cheat because she's not emotionally connected or satisfied with her man. Clandestine meetings behind her significant other's back often feels like an emotional connection. Or cheating is simply her accepting new job applications. Either way, make your woman feel loved and trusted and the chances of her cheating go way down. Always freaking out about her guy friends poking her as soon as you turn your head doesn't make her feel this way.

BTW, i had my driver's license since before you were born.

haha i see i see..
i think i didn't portray myself clear..
Sorry if you got the impression that i'm concerned about my gf cheating on me.

I trust her fully and even OFFERED her to make a move on her "best friend" then pull out JUST to prove my point to her..

It's just that i have a weird personality and conscious and get bothered by the fact that she's hanging out drinking socializing and having fun with guys that i believe has interest in her..
It just bothers me when she dresses nice, does her makeup, hair, throw on some heels etc to go out with other guys at night
I've become more tolerant and don't get bothered as much but it sometimes irks me and gets under my skin.
I just wish that she could hang out with her friends by grabbing lunch during daytime or something but that's just not the way they socialize (she rarely goes out though)

So yeah haha sorry if i gave you the impression that i'm paranoid over my gf cheating on me. It's just that we've been living together for 4 years and it's hard not to be distracted by everything she does and stuff
If you read my post above, i decided to take things more lightly and see things in a win-win situation regardless of how things turn out

Thanks again sir !

[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by kyle335i

Bro what you should do bro is find girls and become best friends with them. And the you can all have a slumber party and bro you can hook up your girl's friends with your new best friends and i guarantee they wont be chilling with your girl anymore bro. Once guys find girls bro they stop chillen with "best friends" bro

bro i used to always get even too bro. but i just can't eat my own words and js do it bro

[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by killershark

Glad to know i helped someone!
And, maybe you can manage your emotions and get used to her going out as time goes by. (hopefully u can get married??)
Well ill stay subscribed to this thread since i might need advice too.

Haha yes if i had my college degree and financially stable, i would propose to her now. But that's not the situation and i still need to wait.
I'ma try to just go with the flow

I was just curious over what other males thought about the friendship thing haha

[UncleWede]

Having said them a second time, I need to remind you of a part of the wedding vow: For Richer or for Poorer. Don't let your financial situation dictate your marital status. Working thru tough times, financially or othewise, can strengthen your relationship. Granted, it can also tear it apart as well.

[Greenkirby21]

My gf has been pissing me off recently. We've been dating almost 4 years now, both 22.

She basically needs to study for her mcat and so since Jan I haven't been able to see her really. If it is it's just me passing by her house or something. While I understand she is busy studying, it pisses me off she can't even take 5-10 mins each day to call me or something. Most times I call she doesn't answer or says she's studying

I'm working full time and doing masters, and barely get any rest as well, but at I at least make time for us :/. Even if it is just sending a good morning text

[amanda hor$t]

^ yeah that doesn't sound good mang. unless she's living in a submarine, nobody's that busy. she should at least txt u from the throne.

[justinnum1]

Originally Posted by Greenkirby21

My gf has been pissing me off recently. We've been dating almost 4 years now, both 22.

She basically needs to study for her mcat and so since Jan I haven't been able to see her really. If it is it's just me passing by her house or something. While I understand she is busy studying, it pisses me off she can't even take 5-10 mins each day to call me or something. Most times I call she doesn't answer or says she's studying

I'm working full time and doing masters, and barely get any rest as well, but at I at least make time for us :/. Even if it is just sending a good morning text

no bueno

[faou4rm]

Originally Posted by Greenkirby21

My gf has been pissing me off recently. We've been dating almost 4 years now, both 22.

She basically needs to study for her mcat and so since Jan I haven't been able to see her really. If it is it's just me passing by her house or something. While I understand she is busy studying, it pisses me off she can't even take 5-10 mins each day to call me or something. Most times I call she doesn't answer or says she's studying

I'm working full time and doing masters, and barely get any rest as well, but at I at least make time for us :/. Even if it is just sending a good morning text

My sister just graduated from UCLA with a biochem degree. Studied on her own and took the MCAT twice..
She always found the time to text me goodnight and hangout with me during the weekends tho..

Let me know how your relationship goes.
4 years is a long time, and maybe things are just too calm and repetitive?
Perhaps try adding some spark in your relationship?