Welcome to the "FML" Thread.

Billup · 08-06-2013, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dtwyim

^Need pics.

^No pics.

Be careful what you wish for. 99% of us who have the balls to say what we have, 100% of the time deliver. "For curiosity of the simple minded is the thought of that of which those wish to have".

Litos · 08-06-2013, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dtwyim

^Need pics.

yeah, you're waaaay to late to this game.

you missed that bus long ago....

post in OT more often and you'll catch a pic or two.....or 6...

Billup · 08-07-2013, 02:09 PM

Some kid put me on his moron list today. FML.

Litos · 08-07-2013, 02:25 PM

ok, i wasn't gonna post this, but i feel i need to come clean.

1) woke up this morning.
2) took shit. felt good, bro.
3) took shower
4) got dressed
5) went to work
6) had to shit again
7) why is my body fucking with me today !?!? FML

p.s.
i've shat 3 times today - #rumblyinmytumbly

grimlock · 08-07-2013, 02:42 PM

^That's your bowels telling you "I can't deal with this shit anymore.."

Litos · 08-07-2013, 02:58 PM

yeah, i need some Pepto or something.

i'm getting those goose bump shits....

dtwyim · 08-07-2013, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litos

yeah, you're waaaay to late to this game.

you missed that bus long ago....

post in OT more often and you'll catch a pic or two.....or 6...

Ha, I have seen her posing beside the Challenger amongst others. Would love to see one about the kitchen

upstatedoc · 08-07-2013, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dtwyim

Ha, I have seen her posing beside the Challenger amongst others. Would love to see one about the kitchen

there's one of her in a thong on the couch.

Litos · 08-07-2013, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

there's one of her in a thong on the couch.

one of my all time favorites....

Litos · 08-07-2013, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dtwyim

Ha, I have seen her posing beside the Challenger amongst others. Would love to see one about the kitchen

you wouldn't even believe me if I told you, but she cooks in her panties 95% of the time.....

and I had a picture, but I "think" I deleted it...

lemme check, but don't hold your breath....

Billup · 08-08-2013, 09:48 AM

Was driving to work this morning, drove through a small ritzy town at the posted 20mph speed limit. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a 6ft 400lb man walking on the sidewalk. What was he wearing? A very nice pair of blue dress slacks, a long red neck tie, no shirt, and a briefcase in his left hand.

After seeing this man, I realized just how dull my life really is...

FMBL.

Litos · 08-08-2013, 10:03 AM

stopped by Burger King to get me a Large Vanilla Iced Coffee and two sausage and cheese muffins.

walked into work and forgot that a vendor was supposed to be bringing me breakfast (Chick-Fil-A).

tried to give my unopened muffins away to some coworkers - nobody wanted them.

sat at my desk and ate them like a fatty - FML, ya'll !?!?

just got a text - Chick-Fil-A is here..........

MidwestGolfBum · 08-08-2013, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Litos

stopped by Burger King to get me a Large Vanilla Iced Coffee and two sausage and cheese muffins.

walked into work and forgot that a vendor was supposed to be bringing me breakfast (Chick-Fil-A).

tried to give my unopened muffins away to some coworkers - nobody wanted them.

sat at my desk and ate them like a fatty - FML, ya'll !?!?

just got a text - Chick-Fil-A is here..........

And this is how those explosive shits you were talking about happen.

Billup · 08-08-2013, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MidwestGolfBum

And this is how those explosive shits you were talking about happen.

Bingo.

Litos · 08-08-2013, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MidwestGolfBum

And this is how those explosive shits you were talking about happen.

the explosive shits happened without eating anything.

probably what i ate the night before......

upstatedoc · 08-08-2013, 11:31 AM

Tried to play poker with my wife last night, she didn't want to so I got out of bed, went downstairs and watched TV. FML.

Billup · 08-08-2013, 12:27 PM

Just got done eating lunch and was getting ready to take my 5th break today and realized I had to go #2. Pushing the limits, I realized it was not going to be pleasant. Now I don't know how to handle the situation. Looks like I'll have to go home early. FML.

Templar · 08-08-2013, 01:01 PM

Sat through two days of training on how to notify/assist the spouse or family member of a Soldier that their loved one died.

Depressing as hell...

Won't say FML though, because I could be the one getting notified...

UncleWede · 08-08-2013, 02:35 PM

Albondigas is good, and more of a semi-regular meal around here. I'd like to add a lot more veggies than the wife, but I won't complain much.

I'm still a white posole kind of guy, that's my birthday meal usually. Although a few removed relatives (remember, I married Mex, so they are ALL related to me now) are converting me to the red version.

dtwyim · 08-09-2013, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Tried to play poker with my wife last night, she didn't want to so I got out of bed, went downstairs and watched TV. FML.

Is that slang for something or you really mean cards?

Uber V8 · 08-09-2013, 10:44 PM

Jacked off and busted a powerful nut and now this bad chica wants to come over and "just chill" tonight. Not sure if I'm gonna be able to get it up. FML

Litos · 08-09-2013, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

Jacked off and busted a powerful nut and now this bad chica wants to come over and "just chill" tonight. Not sure if I'm gonna be able to get it up. FML

wear a condom dude.

or go piss 10 times before you fuck her.

there is still a ton of sperm in your tract which WILL impregnate that bitch....

/litos' life lessons

08-07-2013, 02:09 PM	#91
Billup Banned 476 Rep 928 Posts Drives: Your mum crazy. Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Baconopolos Island iTrader: (0)	Some kid put me on his moron list today. FML.
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08-07-2013, 02:25 PM	#92
Litos Banned 222 Rep 2,991 Posts Drives: 2012 Challenger RT Junk Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Houston/Pearland iTrader: (1)	ok, i wasn't gonna post this, but i feel i need to come clean. 1) woke up this morning. 2) took shit. felt good, bro. 3) took shower 4) got dressed 5) went to work 6) had to shit again 7) why is my body fucking with me today !?!? FML p.s. i've shat 3 times today - #rumblyinmytumbly
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08-07-2013, 02:42 PM	#93
grimlock Colonel 723 Rep 2,003 Posts Drives: F10 N52B30@255PS Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Hong Kong iTrader: (0)	^That's your bowels telling you "I can't deal with this shit anymore.."
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08-07-2013, 02:58 PM	#94
Litos Banned 222 Rep 2,991 Posts Drives: 2012 Challenger RT Junk Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Houston/Pearland iTrader: (1)	yeah, i need some Pepto or something. i'm getting those goose bump shits....
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08-08-2013, 09:48 AM	#99
Billup Banned 476 Rep 928 Posts Drives: Your mum crazy. Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Baconopolos Island iTrader: (0)	Was driving to work this morning, drove through a small ritzy town at the posted 20mph speed limit. Out of the corner of my eye I notice a 6ft 400lb man walking on the sidewalk. What was he wearing? A very nice pair of blue dress slacks, a long red neck tie, no shirt, and a briefcase in his left hand. After seeing this man, I realized just how dull my life really is... FMBL.
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08-08-2013, 10:03 AM	#100
Litos Banned 222 Rep 2,991 Posts Drives: 2012 Challenger RT Junk Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Houston/Pearland iTrader: (1)	stopped by Burger King to get me a Large Vanilla Iced Coffee and two sausage and cheese muffins. walked into work and forgot that a vendor was supposed to be bringing me breakfast (Chick-Fil-A). tried to give my unopened muffins away to some coworkers - nobody wanted them. sat at my desk and ate them like a fatty - FML, ya'll !?!? just got a text - Chick-Fil-A is here..........
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08-08-2013, 11:31 AM	#104
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7535 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	Tried to play poker with my wife last night, she didn't want to so I got out of bed, went downstairs and watched TV. FML. __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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08-08-2013, 12:27 PM	#105
Billup Banned 476 Rep 928 Posts Drives: Your mum crazy. Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Baconopolos Island iTrader: (0)	Just got done eating lunch and was getting ready to take my 5th break today and realized I had to go #2. Pushing the limits, I realized it was not going to be pleasant. Now I don't know how to handle the situation. Looks like I'll have to go home early. FML.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

08-08-2013, 01:01 PM	#106
Templar Lieutenant Colonel 271 Rep 1,883 Posts Drives: 2011 E92 M3 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: One of the coasts... iTrader: (1) Garage List 2011 BMW M3 [10.00]	Sat through two days of training on how to notify/assist the spouse or family member of a Soldier that their loved one died. Depressing as hell... Won't say FML though, because I could be the one getting notified... __________________ '11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT '15 Ford F-250 - Lariat, 6.7 Powerstroke Turbo-diesel
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08-08-2013, 02:35 PM	#107
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 18460 Rep 9,428 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	Albondigas is good, and more of a semi-regular meal around here. I'd like to add a lot more veggies than the wife, but I won't complain much. I'm still a white posole kind of guy, that's my birthday meal usually. Although a few removed relatives (remember, I married Mex, so they are ALL related to me now) are converting me to the red version.
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08-09-2013, 10:44 PM	#109
Uber V8 Volcano Knuckles 416 Rep 491 Posts Drives: 2017 Camaro SS 1LE Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	Jacked off and busted a powerful nut and now this bad chica wants to come over and "just chill" tonight. Not sure if I'm gonna be able to get it up. FML
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