I don't get how u guys can only date 1 girl at a time...I think it's bs or when you're dating, it's because you only have one girl at a time. If you had two or more girls you were interested in equally, I'm gonna bet that you'd be dating them separately but at the same time. and I don't mean relationship wise but just dating because dating means you're testing the waters to see if you want to get in a relationship with. You don't shop for a car at just one dealership, you shop around until you find the exact one you're happy with.

[silvergray545]

Originally Posted by my92

I don't get how u guys can only date 1 girl at a time...I think it's bs or when you're dating, it's because you only have one girl at a time. If you had two or more girls you were interested in equally, I'm gonna bet that you'd be dating them separately but at the same time. and I don't mean relationship wise but just dating because dating means you're testing the waters to see if you want to get in a relationship with. You don't shop for a car at just one dealership, you shop around until you find the exact one you're happy with.

Exactly. You can only test drive ONE car at a time. Same goes for dating. You should one date ONE girl at a time.

[Alexander]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Exactly. You can only test drive ONE car at a time. Same goes for dating. You should one date ONE girl at a time.

Yeah there is a difference. You can look around, but you can't do the paperwork and take two cars home... lol.

[Spec 1]

Originally Posted by Kroy

If the girl you were dating but have not had sex had a STD, would she have been in the right to keep that info secret too? By your rational, if you're not committed (and in this case, the guy isn't even harmed), there's no harm.

What? If I'm not sleeping with her (or anything else), no she doesn't need to tell me. That's her info. If we decided to go that far, then yes I would expect to be told and at that time I would have the right to know, just like if the OP actually entered a relationship with the girl then at that time he would have the right to know if she's dating anyone else (which at that point she should drop the rest).

Originally Posted by Aonarch

I just erased her and then called up a special friend... The friend was very happy that I'm single again. So shit everything worked out!

I thought we established you were never in a relationship...

Originally Posted by my92

I don't get how u guys can only date 1 girl at a time...I think it's bs or when you're dating, it's because you only have one girl at a time. If you had two or more girls you were interested in equally, I'm gonna bet that you'd be dating them separately but at the same time. and I don't mean relationship wise but just dating because dating means you're testing the waters to see if you want to get in a relationship with. You don't shop for a car at just one dealership, you shop around until you find the exact one you're happy with.

This. I think some of these guys must have never had multiple women trying to date them at the same time. Dating is dating and you at that point have no right into the private life of that other person. You are simply trying to establish a connectiontion to see if both people want to enter into a relationship. It is not until the point that you both discuss that they'd like to see each other exclusively that they need to see each other exclusively.

It's not this other person's fault that they have multiple people interested in them at the same time when you don't (speaking in generalities). If you want to know if they're exclusive to you, ASK!

I like your car shopping example. Just because you go look at a Mercedes, then go to the lot the next week to test drive, then again to sit and think, does NOT mean you own the car. There are other people looking at the car and whoever BUYS IT first gets it! You also have the right to be test driving other cars. lol.

[Spec 1]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Exactly. You can only test drive ONE car at a time. Same goes for dating. You should one date ONE girl at a time.

That's not true. You can test drive a car and walk across the street to the Chevy dealership and test drive another.

Originally Posted by Aonarch

Yeah there is a difference. You can look around, but you can't do the paperwork and take two cars home... lol.

You never did the paperwork.

[Jeff@TopGearSolutions]

22 Year old girl is your answer, shes immature. I was in your shoes, especially when they dont see things that are so blatently obvious like, who thinks having 2 BF or 2 GF is OK?!

Just move on.... plenty of fish in the sea.

[Jeff@TopGearSolutions]

Originally Posted by GreenPlease

I had a very similar experience. Dated a girl that was in her early 20s, shy, innocent, very smart. Dated for about a year, everything was going great, never had an argument, then one day she just turned a cold shoulder to me. I found out later on that she had been "talking" to a guy at work.

It bothered me over a year. I couldn't bring myself to date or even look at another girl. I just couldn't understand what the hell my ex was thinking when she broke up with me. I couldn't understand her logic. Eventually, I concluded that there was no logic, there was no reason, it wasn't a flaw or fault on my part, she was just crazy. In general, women are.

Don't waste your time coming to the same conclusion. Life is short. Move on. I've composed this venn diagram that describes the attributes of potential female partners to clarify this or any future situation you might have:

Well said and GREAT DIAGRAM!!!

Only thing I would add is..

Attractive women = Bad in bed (ive had this scenario a few times).

Seems like the butter faces do a lot better in the saddle.

[silvergray545]

Originally Posted by Spec 1

That's not true. You can test drive a car and walk across the street to the Chevy dealership and test drive another.

You can't physically drive two cars at the same time was what I was trying to say.

[Alexander]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

You can't physically drive two cars at the same time was what I was trying to say.

There it is!

[Kroy]

Originally Posted by Spec 1

What? If I'm not sleeping with her (or anything else), no she doesn't need to tell me. That's her info. If we decided to go that far, then yes I would expect to be told and at that time I would have the right to know, just like if the OP actually entered a relationship with the girl then at that time he would have the right to know if she's dating anyone else (which at that point she should drop the rest).

Point I was trying to make is the girl blatantly lied to OP telling him she was not seeing anyone else. Maybe OP didn't want to waste his time dating someone not serious. Relationship or not, fact was she deceived him.

[Spec 1]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

You can't physically drive two cars at the same time was what I was trying to say.

But I'd say "test driving the car" is like going on a date. No you can't physically go on two dates at once but you can sure go on two dates in a week.

Originally Posted by Kroy

Point I was trying to make is the girl blatantly lied to OP telling him she was not seeing anyone else. Maybe OP didn't want to waste his time dating someone not serious. Relationship or not, fact was she deceived him.

I can respect that. I guess it sucks, I just seem to think the guy was maybe expecting too much. I've learned not to simply think you're in a relationship unless it's been spoken about, otherwise this exact circumstance will happen. Part of dating I guess.

[silvergray545]

Originally Posted by Spec 1

But I'd say "test driving the car" is like going on a date. No you can't physically go on two dates at once but you can sure go on two dates in a week.

Ok, so say you're dating two different women at the same time. When you're on a date with one of the girls and she asks you if you're currently dating anyone else, what are you gonna say? Either you're going to tell her that you are seeing other women WHILE you are on a date with this girl. Or you're gonna lie to her and tell her that you aren't seeing anyone else.

So in the first case, that is instantly going to throw some flags up for the girl since you're on a date with her and you are currently dating other people. Then in the second case, when you lie to her, you are instantly starting that date of with lies. What happens if the girl finds out you lied to her? She's not gonna trust you.

Stick to one lady at a time, fellas.

[fatjoez]

how you doin bruv. sorry to hear that.
Thats the way life goes man.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Pick yourself up and move onnnnnnn.
Like they say on MTV's Jersey Shore.
'I ain't gonna get played. You play me I FORGET YOU'

Bam. just like that. yeah.. thats wassup

[Alexander]

Originally Posted by fatjoez

how you doin bruv. sorry to hear that.
Thats the way life goes man.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Pick yourself up and move onnnnnnn.
Like they say on MTV's Jersey Shore.
'I ain't gonna get played. You play me I FORGET YOU'

Bam. just like that. yeah.. thats wassup

Lol.....

This thread wins...
I was shit housed drunk and pissed when I wrote the original post, but now its all just good advice for anyone.

Originally Posted by silvergray545

You can't physically drive two cars at the same time was what I was trying to say.

Exactly. You don't date two girls at the exact same time. You date one on friday, you date the other on Saturday or the next week. You're not "driving" the car at the exact same moment in time, just like you don't date two people at the exact same moment in time.

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Ok, so say you're dating two different women at the same time. When you're on a date with one of the girls and she asks you if you're currently dating anyone else, what are you gonna say? Either you're going to tell her that you are seeing other women WHILE you are on a date with this girl. Or you're gonna lie to her and tell her that you aren't seeing anyone else.

So in the first case, that is instantly going to throw some flags up for the girl since you're on a date with her and you are currently dating other people. Then in the second case, when you lie to her, you are instantly starting that date of with lies. What happens if the girl finds out you lied to her? She's not gonna trust you.

Stick to one lady at a time, fellas.

I don't see why you wouldn't tell them you're seeing other people? The girl is probably seeing other guys too or if they're not, they just haven't found someone to have that chance with. Getting into a relationship is a pretty big commitment and you can't just get into one without seeing what else could be out there that could potentially give you a better/happier relationship.

Like I said, it may just be a newer generation (im 21) of dating where it's normal to be dating multiple people but once u start talking about exclusivity, u stick with 1 person. Generally tho, 80% both people just date 1 person

[Alexander]

Originally Posted by my92

I don't see why you wouldn't tell them you're seeing other people? The girl is probably seeing other guys too or if they're not, they just haven't found someone to have that chance with. Getting into a relationship is a pretty big commitment and you can't just get into one without seeing what else could be out there that could potentially give you a better/happier relationship.

Like I said, it may just be a newer generation (im 21) of dating where it's normal to be dating multiple people but once u start talking about exclusivity, u stick with 1 person. Generally tho, 80% both people just date 1 person

I'm 22, and the high majority of my friends and acquaintances aren't down with the dating of multiple people. I'll reiterate my point. You can talk to multiple people go on one or maybe two dates with different girls, but I'd say anything pass that point is a no no. I couldn't date multiple girls simply because by the 3rd date I probably like them enough, and I wouldn't want to be stuck in a "love triangle". Also I think that its ethically wrong to date multiple people once a relationship is being formed.

[BMW F22]

I guess there are 2 ways to think of it. If you just getting to know a girl then it's fine to date others. I mean I don't have a problem with me doing so nor do I have a problem with her doing so. However, if it's a mutual thing (i.e. you both really like each other and wanna see where it goes) then it's usually a 1-on-1 thing. Most people usually only date one person at a time. It's just depends on the situation and whether or not both people are okay with it.

[Noc57]

I date multiple girls at a time so......whatever. Dating is dating.

It's not like any half decent attractive woman IS NOT going to have someone interested, pretty much all the time. 99.99% of all the hot women I know have boyfriends as well, doesn't really mean a thing. Any decent looking chick will have some dude and that's just the way it is.

Hopefully they're looking to upgrade.

[fatjoez]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

You can't physically drive two cars at the same time was what I was trying to say.

worddddddd.

cause he was like... it's like we're cars, you can't ride me and go ride another guy same time
and she was like.. yea i can
and then he was like... thats wat SHE said
and im like... lol

[silvergray545]

Originally Posted by my92

Exactly. You don't date two girls at the exact same time. You date one on friday, you date the other on Saturday or the next week. You're not "driving" the car at the exact same moment in time, just like you don't date two people at the exact same moment in time.

Originally Posted by my92

I don't see why you wouldn't tell them you're seeing other people? The girl is probably seeing other guys too or if they're not, they just haven't found someone to have that chance with. Getting into a relationship is a pretty big commitment and you can't just get into one without seeing what else could be out there that could potentially give you a better/happier relationship.

Like I said, it may just be a newer generation (im 21) of dating where it's normal to be dating multiple people but once u start talking about exclusivity, u stick with 1 person. Generally tho, 80% both people just date 1 person

The main goal of dating is to get to know a person before you jump into a relationship. Correct? I believe so. How can you give one person 100% if you're seeing 2 or 3 other people at the same time? Plus, you guys keep saying what if there is someone better than the person you're seeing now. You should be able to tell be the 2nd or 3rd date with a person if you want to continue dating them. After you've been dating for a while, you should know if you're ready to be in a relationship with that person. If you're dating a girl and you're not sure if you want to be in a relationship with her after a series of dates, why continue to date her while you take another girl out the next night? Why is it so hard to date one girl at a time, and if she's not relationship material, take the next girl out. Why date them both at the same time. If you're trying to get laid, ok I understand. But if you're looking to be in a relationship with someone, I don't get it.

Oh btw, I'm 20.

Originally Posted by Aonarch

I'm 22, and the high majority of my friends and acquaintances aren't down with the dating of multiple people. I'll reiterate my point. You can talk to multiple people go on one or maybe two dates with different girls, but I'd say anything pass that point is a no no. I couldn't date multiple girls simply because by the 3rd date I probably like them enough, and I wouldn't want to be stuck in a "love triangle". Also I think that its ethically wrong to date multiple people once a relationship is being formed.

Thank you. I thought I was the only one fighting this alone.

[Spec 1]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Oh btw, I'm 20.

Ooooooooh! All of a sudden this makes sense. Who am I to be arguing relationships and dating with a 20 yr old? Haha, sorry bro. I may have thought different a couple years into college too, but now that I'm in my mid twenties my perception on things have definitely changed. The dating game is brutal, and I'm sure you'll find that out in the next 5 years.

Originally Posted by silvergray545

Ok, so say you're dating two different women at the same time. When you're on a date with one of the girls and she asks you if you're currently dating anyone else, what are you gonna say? Either you're going to tell her that you are seeing other women WHILE you are on a date with this girl. Or you're gonna lie to her and tell her that you aren't seeing anyone else.

So in the first case, that is instantly going to throw some flags up for the girl since you're on a date with her and you are currently dating other people. Then in the second case, when you lie to her, you are instantly starting that date of with lies. What happens if the girl finds out you lied to her? She's not gonna trust you.

Stick to one lady at a time, fellas.

So she should have said she was dating other people if the guy asked directly. But if he said something like "Are you single?" and she said "yes" then she never lied. Also many folks won't think of their ex's as someone they're 'dating'. Sure, maybe they see their ex from time to time, but they figure it's nothing serious and they'd drop the ex at any time if they started a relationship since they're always "so over" the ex. Lying is not cool but things are how they are. Again, people misunderstanding and people lying are two different things, which is why you need to be very clear and have a conversation about being exclusive, otherwise you're not.

And how would it throw up red flags when you're on a date and find out they're dating others. It's just the way life is, and when you get into your mid-older twenties you'll understand the hot girls are ALWAYS dating someone, you're just trying to be the one guy who catches her.

Originally Posted by silvergray545

The main goal of dating is to get to know a person before you jump into a relationship. Correct? I believe so. How can you give one person 100% if you're seeing 2 or 3 other people at the same time? Plus, you guys keep saying what if there is someone better than the person you're seeing now. You should be able to tell be the 2nd or 3rd date with a person if you want to continue dating them. After you've been dating for a while, you should know if you're ready to be in a relationship with that person. If you're dating a girl and you're not sure if you want to be in a relationship with her after a series of dates, why continue to date her while you take another girl out the next night? Why is it so hard to date one girl at a time, and if she's not relationship material, take the next girl out. Why date them both at the same time. If you're trying to get laid, ok I understand. But if you're looking to be in a relationship with someone, I don't get it.

As you age, your perceptions change and you've already gone through enough dating (while at your age) to understand and recognize little things that will become problems later. You won't find those little things on the 1st or 2nd date, people are good at covering them up. You find those on the 4th or 5th date when they start to really loosen up and be themselves. When you get older, you don't want to spend 6 months dating someone you have no long-term chance with. You take longer to set up a relationship so that IF you find someone worth being exclusive for it will be worth it.

If I were to jump into a relationship with any girl I had a good time with the first two dates, I'd have a girlfriend pretty much always. I remain single for a couple reasons: 1) I don't want to have to break up a relationship when I find out in two months that she annoys me. 2) If I'm exclusive after a 2nd date, what if I find someone amazing a couple weeks later. Then I physically CAN'T take her out because I'm exclusive with the annoying girl



This is simply an age difference thing.