[grimlock]

since we're doing tangential videos

[Lups]

Been married for ten years, and I don't have either ring. I hate diamonds and I have no use for things like that.

I did get a good knife sharpener ar the ten yard anniversary gift (I forgot the date, as usual.).

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by Lups

Been married for ten years, and I don't have either ring. I hate diamonds and I have no use for things like that.

I did get a good knife sharpener ar the ten yard anniversary gift (I forgot the date, as usual.).

This thread is nowhere near your alley, silly goose.

[M3 Number 86]

Mine was ~$20k valued.

But then it was an heirloom and I told my wife this shit ain't yours. We're starting a tradition and it's going down generation to generation. The setting was $3k. Try to do that. Your parents may have something that is worth way more today than it was yesterday (due to the market bs someone mentioned above).

[qba335i]

My ex wanted a "cheap" ring for only $20-30k. I told her it's not reasonable as she will have (1) over 200k in student loans for 3rd tier law school (2) poor credit history with a few collections.

I told her I would rather apply the money towards her payments/debt as this makes more sense. Somehow this was not taken very well...

In my opinion if a girl demands an expensive ring it should be a sign to rethink your commitment to her.

[eluded]

Just buy her the ring. Who cares, it's just money. Continue this thinking as it will be easier when you give her your cash, house, retirement, etc when you divorce. It's just money.....

[brandonm3]

50k seems ridiculous-- I spent 11k on my fiancee's ring and she absolutely loves it. I'm happy with it too--

[-BEASTMW-]

Didn't read all the replies, but I hate this rule. Reeks of entitlement and a lack of grip on reality. I'm not even sure if it's net or gross, but either way, that represents for many/most people a year of savings. What if you make $30k and live paycheck to paycheck? Should that person still spend $7,500 anyway? If I make $400k am I obligated to spend $100k on a rock? What she "deserves" is a function of my income at the time? Stupid rule.

Also... the types of girls who show off to their friends about their "$50k" ring have probably inflated that from the $30k their fiance told them it cost, which is probably inflated from the $15k it actually cost due to going big on size and small on the finer things, like cut, clarity, color that are harder to notice at a glance. This type of fellow probably put it all on a credit card, also. (Okay, so did I, but it was purely for points and I paid it off the next month when I got the statement, haha)

I dated a girl for 6.5 years like that. Told me all the time about how her good friend's husband pays for everything for her. Meanwhile I was paying more than my share in our relationship, making substantially less than her while trying to save for grad school ($$$). I thank God on a regular basis that we are no longer together.

My wife (married 6 months ago) wanted something nice of course, but didn't want me spending a ton of money on it. She is pretty small with small fingers and not a flashy type of person really, so 2 carats or more would look kind of ridiculous on her - wouldn't fit her personality and would probably attract some of the wrong type of attention.

She begged me to return the favor by at least buying me a platinum ring, but I told her I didn't see any sense in paying 20x the cost of tungsten for a material that's less durable and looks pretty much the same, just because it's "rare" and difficult to mine. I guess that's a typical "guy" way of thinking, but it seemed like a huge waste of money.

I ended up getting something that I knew she would like, that would look appropriate on her, and that would sparkle a lot. Anything more would have been gaudy in size or pointlessly clearer/whiter (once you hit a certain grade of clarity, for example, imperfections can only be seen under 10x magnification). I felt like it was appropriate for what she would love and what I felt comfortable spending, not adhering to some formula that some diamond marketer surely made up out of nowhere.

[-BEASTMW-]

BTW, I used to work with a girl who was dating a guy who she said was a "very logical" type of thinker, and who didn't "believe in" rings so he actually proposed without one, and somehow convinced her to be okay with this (she just didn't have a ring).

However, she then was able to use his "logical thinking" against him by telling him that it was BS that the woman has to change her name, and convinced him to have them BOTH change their names to an amalgamation or portmanteau, if you will, of their two last names. I kid you not. Legally changed both their names.

[SDH]

Can't even believe there's a debate on this. Surely if she's not happy to just be marrying you regardless of rings value then she's not the right "girl" for you?

Myself, I did spend around 3 months salary on my wife's ring, but I didn't calculate it that way it just kind of happened. I saved up for about a year and got the best I could afford. If she said anything to me about it looking cheap then I would have taken it back, booted her out and considered it a lucky escape. As it happened she loved it and nearly had a heart attack when she finally found out what it was worth 2 years later after it was valued for insurance purposes. Not anywhere near the values mentioned in this thread but a lot to us

[David70]

Have you ever met someone that got divorced and blamed it on the ring or someone that has a long term marriage where they say the key to being happy is the ring?

Another thing, the cost of the ring is coming out of the money that will soon be both of yours. I have never understood the logic of a being extra happy because the man went heavily into debt (or spent all of his money) right before they got married so both of them can spend years coming up with the money to pay for the ring.

I would have the conversation with her about what she is willing to pay help pay for (and she will because there will be less money in the bank or there will a loan) and if you don't agree with the logic behind it I would see it as the first of many financial issues.

[1LRM3]

50K ring. Red flag warning. The emotion of love should have no cost but warrant the excitement of a future together. If she's dead set on a ring that tacky in size and at such cost, Id question materialistic values and "keeping up with the Joneses" vs. faith to you.

Me. Id be out of that relationship faster than speeding bullet.

[dzvero]

Originally Posted by Patrick719

Agree with the others. If you're trying to "Keep up with the Kardashians" you're gonna go broke fast. When I was shopping for a ring, I just gave myself a budget that I could afford and shopped for the best quality I could get for the price. Hopefully your girl prefers a smaller ring to a bankrupt boyfriend.

Smaller ring, big package or bigger ring smaller package - her choice !

[BMW F22]

After reading this thread, I should "ring was too small" to the "why do some women say no" thread.

[dzvero]

Originally Posted by DJP86

My girl and I sort of have the same mentality when it comes to stuff like this: Make it nice, regardless of price. Spend the money on an experience, not on a thing. Meaning, The ring is a representation of your love, and the tyranny of the West (according to the way the sidebar comments are going on this thread). So save yourself a ton of money on a ring and spend it on a kick ass honeymoon

+1 on that. Make sure everyone sees all the photos and make them envy

[GabeS]

I think I would have a conversation with my fiance and explain I can either get her a ring to put on her finger and make her ego smile, something that is basically worthless to us, or I could use that money for us to put a downpayment on a house or pay off some of the house, or start a retirement account or savings account for our future kids.
Honestly is she was so superficial to prefer the ring she probably doesnt have a wife/mothers mentality yet

[atxgt3]

Originally Posted by GabeS

I think I would have a conversation with my fiance and explain I can either get her a ring to put on her finger and make her ego smile, something that is basically worthless to us, or I could use that money for us to put a downpayment on a house or pay off some of the house, or start a retirement account or savings account for our future kids.
Honestly is she was so superficial to prefer the ring she probably doesnt have a wife/mothers mentality yet

I don't think that attitude goes away if you have it to begin with. At least the people I've seen that think like that tend to always think that way.

[Diggerdan11]

The 3 Month rule thing is ridiculous. If she really loves you wants to be with you forever then she should be happy with a ring from a Cracker Jack box, it's what they ring stands for and not how much it costs that means the most.

My wife's ring cost me about a weeks worth of pay, and she picked it out. Our wedding cost us about $2000 and I hate to brag but it was the best damn wedding I have ever been to.

My wife does not need a $50k ring to know I lover her. She knows because I tell her every day and show it to her through actions.

[jtodd_fl]

Since videos are a thing in here...

Oh... you are all welcome.

[PoorLurker]

Find a quality diamond that you like.

I went to some of the larger name stores and looked at their diamonds and certifications. Then, I went to a local jeweler who I met years before at the gym. He allowed me to look at and compare 5 loose diamonds at a time. I was able to look at each diamond underneath a microscope up to 40x (diamonds are graded at 10x). I was able to look at them under a black light to see fluorescence. I looked at them against benchmark colored stones that GIA uses to grade color.

What this allowed me to do was to play with different characteristics to maximize what I valued the most.

Example, at one store, there was a guy who only valued size and he ended up with a large yellow diamond that had visual inclusions visible to the naked eye. This was not the type of diamond I wanted. On the other side of the spectrum, I know of another person who needed a D color, Flawless diamond, so his budget could only get him a relatively small carat.

There are 4 C's Color, Cut, Clarity, Carat. Once you establish a budget, you will be able to change the cursors to lessen carats and increase color, or decrease clarity, increase carat and decorate color. Play with these variables until you see one that fits your interest.

Cut is very important as diamonds need to sparkle. The sparkle comes from light reflection. With an ideally cut diamond, maximum facets will sparkle like no other.

Now on to budget - Do whatever you are comfortable with. I actually wished I would have spent more on my wife's ring. I purchased her ring during my first year in my career.

Think about this - Assume a relationship lasts for 10 years and each week Marge and Leonard go to starbucks and spend $10. During their relationship, they spend about $5,000 just on Starbucks. That is one area of their relationship. From those 500 trips to Starbucks, how memorable will each drink be? The routine of getting up and walking to starbucks will be the most memorable part. (and that's the free part). Now, will a nice diamond be one to remember? Even if you divorce after 10 years, the diamond still has some worth/value. The coffee has been pissed away, literally.

Wow, I sound like a diamond salesman.

Now with all of that said, diamonds are a market that is controlled by DeBeers and is one of the largest manipulations in recent history.



I have



(I can't wait to hear the wedding budget info question. I remember spending months and tens of thousands of dollars for our wedding only to be sitting in the limo headed back to our hotel thinking... whoa... it's over already?)

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by Diggerdan11

The 3 Month rule thing is ridiculous. If she really loves you wants to be with you forever then she should be happy with a ring from a Cracker Jack box, it's what they ring stands for and not how much it costs that means the most.

My wife's ring cost me about a weeks worth of pay, and she picked it out. Our wedding cost us about $2000 and I hate to brag but it was the best damn wedding I have ever been to.

My wife does not need a $50k ring to know I lover her. She knows because I tell her every day and show it to her through actions.

I would love to know more about the $2k wedding. I think my gf and I are on the same in that we would rather spend money on the honeymoon and other things than a fancy wedding or a huge ring. Probably not the $2k wedding but still a budget one. It's just a damn party for one night. I'm not willing to spend 10's of thousands on a party.

[PoorLurker]

Funny how so many posters are caught up on $50k when OP mentioned that a friend has a $50k ring, not that his GF demands a $50k ring. OP even mentions that his GF's friends families are wealthy.

$50k as 3 months salary is a $200k income. Again, OP stated that those families are wealthy. $200k/yr is far from wealthy, therefore, $50k is probably a drop in the bucket for them.