[Sara]

Im not trying to thread jack OP.. Im just trying my best to prove my point of view and make you guys see.

[SAM135iAM]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

But I think you have to acknowledge that just sleeping at his house is not by itself an opportunity - realistically, wouldn't you agree?

I mean, its not like you expressed any interest in progressing things, initiated any contact right? So if he were to do so, it would be at the peril of the friendship.

But on the other hand, if you had given him indications that you were interested, and he did nothing, then that would admittedly be a different story. But I sort of doubt that happened.

Really what I'm trying to drive at here, is there really hasn't been any opportunity, because you haven't given him any indications that it would be reciprocated.

Would that be a fair point?

Because if so, you can't really suggest you know what is going through his mind or that he would never act if given the opportunity, which is really what OP is trying to articulate I think - its that nagging concern, the what if.

You make the most valid and logical argument friend. Your words are brilliant and delightfully explained for any reasonable person to understand. You're fighting a losing battle though against Sara504. You forget you're arguing a women. They do not understand thinking logically and rationally. Also, women are not reasonable beings.

[Colt]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I used to go on vacation once a month sometimes once every 3weeks for about almost a year straight. Does it count if every time he brought me to the airport I kissed him on the cheek, hugged him and he grabbed my ass while saying goodbye. I still think guys and girls can solely just be friends and keep it at that. And yes I fondle all of my female friends and they grab me right back, no we arent lesbians its just what we do.

This is why I have a hard time understanding women a majority of the time. If a guy did any of this he would be considered a homosexual.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Angerman

This is why I have a hard time understanding women a majority of the time. If a guy did any of this he would be considered a homosexual.

Girls are just more comfortable in their sexuality than guys are. I have no problem complimenting my females friends on how they look and admire where they got their cute panties from when we change outfits in my room or wherever we are. I only say that so I can get a pair for myself. Its all for personal gain.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by SAM135iAM

You make the most valid and logical argument friend. Your words are brilliant and delightfully explained for any reasonable person to understand. You're fighting a losing battle though against Sara504. You forget you're arguing a women. They do not understand thinking logically and rationally. Also, women are not reasonable beings.

According to my bf all women are the C word. Starts with C and ends with Y... Its a banned word in our house.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Im not trying to thread jack OP.. Im just trying my best to prove my point of view and make you guys see.

I think we see just fine. When there is nothing to lose you'll get honesty. Your pal, will never say he would move on you until there is nothing to lose.

I made sure my wife didn't ask her guy friends until we were newly married. Then she got mostly truth. But my wife is very cool and her buds knew she wouldn't take offense or treat them different. If she were here she'd be arguing from the guys point of view.

[Colt]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Girls are just more comfortable in their sexuality than guys are. I have no problem complimenting my females friends on how they look and admire where they got their cute panties from when we change outfits in my room or wherever we are. I only say that so I can get a pair for myself. Its all for personal gain.

Sounds like a party lol

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I used to go on vacation once a month sometimes once every 3weeks for about almost a year straight. Does it count if every time he brought me to the airport I kissed him on the cheek, hugged him and he grabbed my ass while saying goodbye. I still think guys and girls can solely just be friends and keep it at that. And yes I fondle all of my female friends and they grab me right back, no we arent lesbians its just what we do.

I appreciate the example here, certainly of interest, but it sort of sounds like some way you both chose to greet each other / depart from each other, platonic, whatever have you. It doesn't really sound physical (ie. if you kissed him on the lips instead of cheek, I don't know about the grab, but I'm guessing it was in jest or maybe not really a grab - I have no idea clearly, only you know).

But if its just a gesture, with no actual physical interest, then it still isn't an opportunity. So I guess what I would ask is this, can you think of any time at all in the past 4 years or longer (however long this friendship was) wherein you actually expressed an interest that he could legitimately interpret it as an interest / invitation to act / opportunity?

My guess is no, and thus, I would argue there has been no opportunity.

Nevertheless, I think your heart is in the right place, but I just don't think you are seeing it from a guy's point of view.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I appreciate the example here, certainly of interest, but it sort of sounds like some way you both chose to greet each other / depart from each other, platonic, whatever have you. It doesn't really sound physical (ie. if you kissed him on the lips instead of cheek, I don't know about the grab, but I'm guessing it was in jest or maybe not really a grab - I have no idea clearly, only you know).

But if its just a gesture, with no actual physical interest, then it still isn't an opportunity. So I guess what I would ask is this, can you think of any time at all in the past 4 years or longer (however long this friendship was) wherein you actually expressed an interest that he could legitimately interpret it as an interest / invitation to act / opportunity?

My guess is no, and thus, I would argue there has been no opportunity.

Nevertheless, I think your heart is in the right place, but I just don't think you are seeing it from a guy's point of view.

I guess I see what youre saying now. No, I've never suggested "Hey, get naked lets fuck" or hinted anything like that. At the same time he's never tried to make a move on me.

But were friends.

I wouldnt say hey Danielle, feel my tits lets get it on. Um no, gross. She's just my friend.

So why would I ever suggest or try to hint to Phuoc to do anything? See my point?

[SAM135iAM]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Nevertheless, I think your heart is in the right place, but I just don't think you are seeing it from a guy's point of view.

She never will bro. No woman can.

Originally Posted by Sara504

I guess I see what youre saying now. No, I've never suggested "Hey, get naked lets fuck" or hinted anything like that. At the same time he's never tried to make a move on me.

You should. You seriously should.

[Colt]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I guess I see what youre saying now. No, I've never suggested "Hey, get naked lets fuck" or hinted anything like that. At the same time he's never tried to make a move on me.

I'm kind of confused...are you trying to have a relationship other than friendship with this dude or what? As for the hinting, if a chick grabbed my ass and whatnot before departure, that would be a hint in my mind lol

Maybe he hasn't made a move yet because he doesn't want to be the one to ruin the friendship you two currently have together. You ever see that movie Just Friends with Ryan Reynolds?

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Angerman

I'm kind of confused...are you trying to have a relationship other than friendship with this dude or what? As for the hinting, if a chick grabbed my ass and whatnot before departure, that would be a hint in my mind lol

Maybe he hasn't made a move yet because he doesn't want to be the one to ruin the friendship you two currently have together. You ever see that movie Just Friends with Ryan Reynolds?

Never seen that movie. Mail it to me.

[Dkhan23]

Originally Posted by Sara504

According to my bf all women are the C word. Starts with C and ends with Y... Its a banned word in our house.

Costly?

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I guess I see what youre saying now. No, I've never suggested "Hey, get naked lets fuck" or hinted anything like that. At the same time he's never tried to make a move on me.

But were friends.

I wouldnt say hey Danielle, feel my tits lets get it on. Um no, gross. She's just my friend.

So why would I ever suggest or try to hint to Phuoc to do anything? See my point?

I think we can agree that it certainly sounds like he's never made a move in the past, not arguing about that - purely platonic.

But we are sort of coming at it from different angles I think. While I am saying this guy has never had the opportunity (and therefore has never made a move), I think what you are saying is "He's just a friend - I would never invite him to make a move because we're just friends - I'm not sexually attracted to him". And because he hasn't made a move, you are implying or assuming he wouldn't (because he hasn't yet). And your viewpoint is much like the view expressed by OP's gf - don't you think? Since she has assumed none of the guys are interested in her because they haven't made a move, and therefore, its purely platonic, and she should be free to hang around them as much as she wants since there is no danger.

But to re-iterate - what I'm saying is that he will not make a move until given the opportunity. If you want to try a little social experiment, next time you come back after drinking, feign or pretend interest and see if he reacts. You can't do it just out of the blue (ie. not having had some drinks) as that would be too out of character. And if he rejects you, blame it on the drinks and all is good. And if he initiates, then cool it down / stop it and just forgive and forget the next morning and let bygones be bygones. But you have to be honest and post the results one way or another - for interests sake!

Of course, if you point him to this thread, then he will of course remember and not react, but my bet is that he'll forget in due time, so you could just wait.

So - what do you think - will you proceed with a little social experiment, or shall we just agree that you don't *conclusively* know that he wouldn't make a move if given the opportunity?

And I'm not trying to be a jerk about this, but I am trying to make you understand the way a guy would likely see things here. All the best to you either way!

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Dkhan23

Costly?

LOL

I honestly have no idea what this C word is that ends with Y. Really, I don't.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

LOL

I honestly have no idea what this C word is that ends with Y. Really, I don't.

Crazy.

[JasonCSU]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

LOL

I honestly have no idea what this C word is that ends with Y. Really, I don't.

On a qwerty keyboard, the Y is right next to the T. A typo perhaps?

[1LRM3]

Cutey?

[1LRM3]

Originally Posted by Dkhan23

Costly?

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! +1

[Dkhan23]

A guy and a girl can be friends, he'll just want to always have sex. And any chick that says "no he's not like that" are funny

[Sara]

Originally Posted by 1LRM3

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! +1

[1LRM3]

^ did offer another word