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      08-31-2018, 04:56 PM   #19405
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      08-31-2018, 05:56 PM   #19406
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      08-31-2018, 07:11 PM   #19407
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THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK



The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was

a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues,

but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background,

he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight

into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football and when the coach asks him what he wants,

all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, " the old woman says. " You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event

in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment there are gunshots all around us.

The neighborhood is a pile of rubble Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,

and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses and then tearfully says,


"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”
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      08-31-2018, 09:48 PM   #19408
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      08-31-2018, 09:50 PM   #19409
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Oh damn I so wanna share that at work,
but just remembered I took the on-line course for
"work place ethics, sexual harassment and everyone is equal" pc shit

so may get fired for that

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      08-31-2018, 09:53 PM   #19410
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Wait what,
shit when I was growing up, it was the done think to get a women liquored up in order to get some,

ok, the technical term is "wineing and dining"

Oh shit, is this something I shouldn't repeat at work either, in case it needs me taking a trip down to HR

fuck me, people are draining all the flocking fun out of life

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      08-31-2018, 09:59 PM   #19411
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I'm a Christian, actually a born again Christian, and I just want you heathens to know that we <><'s do have a SOH, I did laugh at this, sorry, it was a smirk... no I take that back it was a wry little smile,

dammit gotta find a priest now

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      08-31-2018, 10:15 PM   #19412
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^. Wings and water turned into wine?
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      09-01-2018, 06:29 AM   #19413
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      09-01-2018, 09:05 AM   #19414
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BMW owner caught littering.

https://www.reddit.com/r/IdiotsInCar...itter_dumbass/
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      09-01-2018, 09:38 AM   #19415
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaye944 View Post
Wait what,
shit when I was growing up, it was the done think to get a women liquored up in order to get some,

ok, the technical term is "wineing and dining"
I think the technical term was actually, wine, dine, 69... or at least that what my cell mate tells me.



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      09-01-2018, 11:28 AM   #19416
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we had another saying back home

"A little bit of wine make a woman feel fine"

I'm not condoing drugging, but a liccle bit of juice, kinda kills the inhibitions, of course having some passed out drunken lush is not my idea of fun either.



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Originally Posted by Josh (PA) View Post
I think the technical term was actually, wine, dine, 69... or at least that what my cell mate tells me.



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      09-01-2018, 03:52 PM   #19417
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaye944 View Post
we had another saying back home

"A little bit of wine make a woman feel fine"

I'm not condoing drugging, but a liccle bit of juice, kinda kills the inhibitions, of course having some passed out drunken lush is not my idea of fun either.
Not to derail my favorite thread here, but I agree with you. I have two college age daughters and all along we've taught them to have responsibility, own your behavior and stay in control. There's a big difference between a guy and girl getting drunk together, hooking up and the girl feeling guilty the next day and a guy pushing on when a girl says "get the 'F" off me".

Now back on thread:
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      09-01-2018, 03:58 PM   #19418
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agreed,
(with a 7yr old daughter in tow)

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Originally Posted by Josh (PA) View Post
Not to derail my favorite thread here, but I agree with you. I have two college age daughters and all along we've taught them to have responsibility, own your behavior and stay in control. There's a big difference between a guy and girl getting drunk together, hooking up and the girl feeling guilty the next day and a guy pushing on when a girl says "get the 'F" off me".

Now back on thread:
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      09-01-2018, 04:01 PM   #19419
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      09-01-2018, 06:32 PM   #19420
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Warning: Plenty of F Bombs. Do not watch while at work.

That is really damn funny!
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      09-01-2018, 06:34 PM   #19421
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Warning: Plenty of F Bombs. Do not watch while at work.

That is really darn funny!
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      09-02-2018, 01:27 PM   #19422
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&
i can explain this (kinda), just took the workshop thursday

ok so the "way" of knowing who's at "fault" is by the assumption that someone has to be less drunk.

aka if you go to her place when both of you are drunk you'll have a better chance at explaining yourself that you did not rape someone

(yes it is stupid, yes this is what theyre teaching at a top engineering school)
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      09-02-2018, 03:37 PM   #19423
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      09-02-2018, 03:41 PM   #19424
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      09-02-2018, 07:46 PM   #19425
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      09-02-2018, 08:07 PM   #19426
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