[Captain Blood]

So, at my wife's office Christmas party.......A guy walks up behind me and asks the bartender "what's a French martini"? And I reply, "it's a martini that runs away from Germans".

I was very proud of myself......

[P1]

Originally Posted by Real Dodger

So, at my wife's office Christmas party.......A guy walks up behind me and asks the bartender "what's a French martini"? And I reply, "it's a martini that runs away from Germans".

I was very proud of myself......

Maybe he meant a French 75!

[GuyLedouche]

.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by GuyLedouche

.

Next level.

[Run Silent]

Awesome

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by chetrickerman

.

When asked to give my name in a restaurant, sometimes I will give them Bueller. When they call my name I make them say it twice before I say anything. Very rarely does anyone ever get the joke, especially the 20-something year old that either takes my name or the person calling it out. On occasion someone close to my age will get it and laugh.

I also give Mike Jones and respond with who? when they call my name. Rarely do people get this one either.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

When asked to give my name in a restaurant, sometimes I will give them Bueller. When they call my name I make them say it twice before I say anything. Very rarely does anyone ever get the joke, especially the 20-something year old that either takes my name or the person calling it out. On occasion someone close to my age will get it and laugh.

I also give Mike Jones and respond with who? when they call my name. Rarely do people get this one either.

I've done the Mike Jones.

[chetrickerman]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

When asked to give my name in a restaurant, sometimes I will give them Bueller. When they call my name I make them say it twice before I say anything. Very rarely does anyone ever get the joke, especially the 20-something year old that either takes my name or the person calling it out. On occasion someone close to my age will get it and laugh.

I also give Mike Jones and respond with who? when they call my name. Rarely do people get this one either.

Hahahahahahahahahaha, brilliant!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I've done the Mike Jones.

I also use:

Secret Peter
Sancho (From Orgasmo)
Pillow Pants
Captain Margaret
Captain Artemus "Snake" Buckwald
Master Betty
Sanchez
Uncle Pedro

or whatever else happens to pop in my mind at the time.

[GOLFFRR]

Originally Posted by usshelena725

Awesome

without getting into too much detail (long story) but I remember 10 or so years ago I was hanging out in a green room with Chris Rock (comedian) and Rick Ruben (Music Mogul) and one of the reps for Chris came in and said "Hey Chris, Peter Billingsley is out by the stage and wanted to come back and meet you" Chris said "who?" the guy said "the guy from the christmas BB gun movie" haha Chris said no thanks. I remember thinking to myself NO WAY I love that movie.

any who thats my Peter Billinglsey story

[P1]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

When asked to give my name in a restaurant, sometimes I will give them Bueller. When they call my name I make them say it twice before I say anything. Very rarely does anyone ever get the joke, especially the 20-something year old that either takes my name or the person calling it out. On occasion someone close to my age will get it and laugh.

I also give Mike Jones and respond with who? when they call my name. Rarely do people get this one either.

But did you give them the 281-330-8004 phone number?

[Run Silent]

I love Australia. Can't make this stuff up.

https://shoeuntied.wordpress.com/201...poDkyIbHFVCl1k

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by P1et

But did you give them the 281-330-8004 phone number?

"That's mah cell phone number hit me up on the low!"

I've never been asked for the number, otherwise I would.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

...

[chetrickerman]

.

[MrRoboto]

Originally Posted by chetrickerman

.

*donuts

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

When asked to give my name in a restaurant, sometimes I will give them Bueller.

Last week in jury duty the lady kept calling someone's name. I started mumbling "Bueller" and a few oldsters in front of me turned around giggling. Other than when they let us go, that MAY have been the highlight of my jury service

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Last week in jury duty the lady kept calling someone's name. I started mumbling "Bueller" and a few oldsters in front of me turned around giggling. Other than when they let us go, that MAY have been the highlight of my jury service

Best get out of jury duty reason I've seen yet: When asked if anyone would have any reason to feel they could not be impartial or could otherwise not serve on the jury, this young lady raises her hand. Her reasoning was that she's a nihilist and so there's really no point to any of this anyway. Out she went.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

Best get out of jury duty reason I've seen yet: When asked if anyone would have any reason to feel they could not be impartial or could otherwise not serve on the jury, this young lady raises her hand. Her reasoning was that she's a nihilist and so there's really no point to any of this anyway. Out she went.

Never got into the courtroom, sat in the assembly area ALL DAY LONG.

I'm getting a shirt made: Large cannabis leaf, "Pick Me!" in red.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Never got into the courtroom, sat in the assembly area ALL DAY LONG.

I'm getting a shirt made: Large cannabis leaf, "Pick Me!" in red.

That's the worst!

I got picked. Really glad I did. Yes I blew 2 days sitting in on a drunk driving trial for a dude who was obvious guilty from the first moment. But sitting on a jury of your "peers" thinking holy sh*t, if I ever F up bad enough to need a trial, these morons could be deciding my fate" is enough to get anyone to be on the straight and narrow.

[Run Silent]

What the actual F?

[GuyLedouche]