[Lups]

I woke up this morning feeling like I might have done a few things wrong last night.

I got home late, I was tired as hell. All I wanted was to fall in to the bed naked, and sleep it all off.

I had a dress on, with a zipper I just couldn't find, or open, so I, in my genius state decided just to pop off the bra since it was a front opening one, and then to slip it out, sleep in the stupid dress and be all rosy in the morning.

So I tried it, but the weirdo back of the dress got tangled to the confusing back of the bra, and since I'm the most patient person in the world, I decided using raw force was the way to go.

I don't know anyone besides me, who has ended up with a black eye due to a stripping attempt, but that's what I did. I pulled the damn bra breaking the dress and hit my eye with the wiring.

Then, of course I got more violent and decided to disarm my opponent, and I got a real fucking 5mm stab wound in my arm because apparently bras are indestructible.

Since I learned from my previous mistakes, I thought it would be a good idea, and I got my cooking knife out, I wanted to kill the dress, and the stupid tit holder.

I was the DD last night, so I did that all while completely sober, but in the morning I got weird looks from the spouse.

" You got in to a fight?"

" No"

" You want to explain your dress and your eye and that bandage?"

" No. I wouldn't ever share that with anyone."


I truly hope one member here has endured a situation of Yes I'm Stupid, like I have all day. I can't even lie and tell anyone who asks something, I just confess since this whole thing was so damn stupid, it was all on me but I rather lose all my cool points here than tell my husband how incompetent as a person I am.

So, anyone? You've been stupid?

[1MOREMOD]

I was driving my truck in the snow after drinking. Spun it and hit a speed limit sign sideways. Got super pissed so stood on it spun the other way and took out some trees. Put it in the driveway and went to bed. Got up in am both sides of truck have dents all over and hit a curb knocking one tire off the bead.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

I was driving my truck in the snow after drinking. Spun it and hit a speed limit sign sideways. Got super pissed so stood on it spun the other way and took out some trees. Put it in the driveway and went to bed. Got up in am both sides of truck have dents all over and hit a curb knocking one tire off the bead.

Stop editing your posts and driving while drunk is never cool.

[ShopVac]

I fell out of a dress once. Once...

[King Rudi]

When my boys were younger (7 & 8) I was on my way to a managers meeting, all spiffed up - suit, tie, etc. I dopped them off at their grandmothers on my way out of town until their mother could pick them up after work. Upon arriving they proceeded to show me the new rope swing that had been fashioned under a large oak tree and my youngest tries putting his entire body inside the tied loop at the bottom. I then try to explain to him, this is not how to use this swing. He wasn't getting what I was trying to explain so I decided to show him. Bad move. No one bothered to let me know that the swing had been placed there by a 12 year old and was not suitable for anyone over 80 pounds. I put my foot inside the swing and began lift off.....it was short lived. The branch immediately broke and I came crashing down on my back. Now covered in dirt, pants ripped and with the wind knocked out of me, I had to get up and act like I wasn't hurt in front of my kids, who were hyperventilating from laughing so hard at me in between short bursts of concern. I did not have time to go home and change before said meeting so I ended up having to attend looking like I had slept outside in the woods in my suit the night before said meeting. To add insult to injury, literally, the CEO of our company attended this particular meeting and it was the first time we met.

To my surprise, he was a very down to earth guy with a soft spot for kids and gave me props for doing what I did with and for my kids. This gave us something to build report off of and quickly became close. He told this story every single time he introduced me to anyone.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

When my boys were younger (7 & 8) I was on my way to a managers meeting, all spiffed up - suit, tie, etc. I dopped them off at their grandmothers on my way out of town until their mother could pick them up after work. Upon arriving the proceeded to show me the new rope swing that had been fashioned under a large oak tree and my youngest tries putting his entire body inside the tied loop at the bottom. I then try to explain to him, this is not how to use this swing. He wasn't getting what I was trying to explain so I decided to show him. Bad move. No one bothered to let me know that the swing had been placed there by a 12 year old and was not suitable for anyone over 80 pounds. I put my foot inside the swing and began lift off.....it was short lived. The branch immediately broke and I came crashing down on my back. Now covered in dirt, pants ripped and with the wind knocked out of me, I had to get up and act like I wasn't hurt in front of my kids, who were hyperventilating from laughing so hard at me in between short bursts of concern. I did not have time to go home and change before said meeting so I ended up having to attend looking like I had slept outside in the woods in my suit the night before said meeting. To add insult to injury, literally, the CEO of our company attended this particular meeting and it was the first time we met.

To my surprise, he was a very down to earth guy with a soft spot for kids and gave me props for doing what I did with and for my kids. This gave us something to build report off of and quickly became close. He told this story every single time he introduced me to anyone.

Oh thank coffee!!

This is epic! Well done, swinger Judy!

That's just so epic, the moment you know you've fucked up, but " I'll just own up to it.."

I can't believe the mess I made, but it's hilarious that a mild dressing disaster ends up to a morning after question of " what did you do?"

" Well honey, I tried to be quiet so wouldn't wake you up, but it seems clothes are very uncooperative these days. Then I immediately asked for help and I absolutely would not get beaten up by a bra."

I should've used that one. The kids and the hubby now make fun of me.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Lups

Oh thank coffee!!

This is epic! Well done, swinger Judy!

That's just so epic, the moment you know you've fucked up, but " I'll just own up to it.."

I can't believe the mess I made, but it's hilarious that a mild dressing disaster ends up to a morning after question of " what did you do?"

" Well honey, I tried to be quiet so wouldn't wake you up, but it seems clothes are very uncooperative these days. Then I immediately asked for help and I absolutely would not get beaten up by a bra."

I should've used that one. The kids and the hubby now make fun of me.

There are so many more stories like this one but this is the first one that comes to mind. Allow them to have their fun and poke the fun, it will all come full circle, that's just how life works.

I do have another story of trying to destroy a bees nest with a cigarette lighter and hairspray that ended in my near demise. I am very allergic to bee stings. Long story short, I got lit up by bees that were on fire. Hands down one of the most terrifying things to ever happen to me. Nothing worse than seeing things flying at you that can kill you.....all while flaming. It was straight out of a horror movie.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

There are so many more stories like this one but this is the first one that comes to mind. Allow them to have their fun and poke the fun, it will all come full circle, that's just how life works.

I do have another story of trying to destroy a bees nest with a cigarette lighter and hairspray that ended in my near demise. I am very allergic to bee stings. Long story short, I got lit up by bees that were on fire. Hands down one of the most terrifying things to ever happen to me. Nothing worse than seeing things flying at you that can kill you.....all while flaming. It was straight out of a horror movie.

Wait till you hear how I saved my whole family (I was about five or seven) from a huge bee hive that was build in the abandoned outhouse.

"Oh, a bendy stick, I'll just drop it off and run away"

After my shift stick action, a horrid scream followed, and my great uncle Mauri spent the rest of his summer sitting on an ice pack.

Weirdly enough, before I confessed 15 years later, everyone thought he had been attacked by bees.

Apparently old man balls and bee hives looks alike. Who knew, and who confesses on a forum on being extremely careful with balls.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Lups

Wait till you hear how I saved my whole family (I was about five or seven) from a huge bee hive that was build in the abandoned outhouse.

"Oh, a bendy stick, I'll just drop it off and run away"

After my shift stick action, a horrid scream followed, and my great uncle Mauri spent the rest of his summer sitting on an ice pack.

Weirdly enough, before I confessed 15 years later, everyone thought he had been attacked by bees.

Apparently old man balls and bee hives looks alike. Who knew, and who confesses on a forum on being extremely careful with balls.

Ho-ly shit!!!

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Ho-ly shit!!!

I saved my whole family on one side I only saw for a week each year from horrible bees while handling a nest in an outhouse nobody used!

The main point, the hit of the stick is, that he lived on for years. I did not kill him, I just kept really, really quiet about it too.

Edit: two years back I went back to that summer sauna, and I had to see the spot of the old outhouse. Apparently my actions are so legendary the summer sauna cottage had been transformed to a dry compost depositary the year of my last visit.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by Lups

Stop editing your posts and driving while drunk is never cool.

Well I have a dozen of those

[Lups]

Originally Posted by ShopVac

I fell out of a dress once. Once...

Elaborate.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Well I have a dozen of those

There is no excuse for driving under influence if not to save a pregnant lady and the hospital is in the end of an abandoned road.

I'm all for drinking, and I'm all for driving. But like milk and coffee, I only approve them when separated.

[1MOREMOD]

There isn't much excuse for a lot of things I've done in the past. I lived, was never charged.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

There isn't much excuse for a lot of things I've done in the past. I lived, was never charged.

Hey I've met the guy you're these days. Fucking up in the past doesn't mean one should be shunned away, it means we all should see the person they are today.

I have issues with people driving and drinking. A friend of mine almost killed an other friend and himself so my limit is a third of a pint with a hefty dinner.

I still think all milk& coffee mixers are mass murderers so my standards might be a little strict.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Lups

" No. I wouldn't ever share that with anyone."

And yet, here WE are.

Went skiing in HS. Brought lots of mind-altering substances, partook of most of them. Remember vaguely being put in shower, clothes and all, because I was sweating like a pig. It was hypoglycemia, but none of my friends know wtf that shit is.

Next morning, as I'm nursing a serious hangover, friends are telling me I tried to take shots of Vaseline, as in real injections with my insulin needles. 'Bullshit!!' (looks in Vaseline container, sees all the needle holes)

[ShopVac]

Originally Posted by Lups

Elaborate.

Ummmm....no

Well, hairy legs...yeah....no

[BayE30]

if my wife told me this story we would both have a good laugh and a hug. dunno why you wouldnt share this story, its hilarious.

[///M Power-Belgium]

Originally Posted by ShopVac

I fell out of a dress once. Once...

Dude ?!?!

[DETRoadster]

Once I got super mad at a truck I was working on. I had an impact gun in my hand. I stood up, threw the impact gun down, and the air line (under 130 PSi of course) popped off the back of the gun, flew up, and punched me in the dick. All of this in front of my co-workers who were laughing hysterically.

[Turkish Pickle]

almost got expelled for trying to rename the school network to something funny for our 17yo minds, that was a fun time

pro tip: don't actually go to class if you decide to do this. if you take the time to connect to the router, finish your job. don't go "i'll come back to it later" because at some point you will be caught and be forced to serve detention after school for 3 days a week


or the time I swore I'd never let anyone drunk in my car again, after my friend sitting behind me (i was driving) climbed onto the roof from the side window.
now if we were stationary it'd be chill but this was on the highway - he's alive so its good but only the next morning we all realized "holy balls this was fucking stupid"

[Wakka]

Originally Posted by Lups

I woke up this morning feeling like I might have done a few things wrong last night.

I got home late, I was tired as hell. All I wanted was to fall in to the bed naked, and sleep it all off.

I had a dress on, with a zipper I just couldn't find, or open, so I, in my genius stage decided just to pop off the bra since it was a front opening one, and then to slip it out, sleep in the stupid dress and be all rosy in the morning.

So I tried it, but the weirdo back of the dress got tangled to the confusing back of the bra, and since I'm the most patient person in the world, I decided using raw force was the way to go.

I don't know anyone besides me, who has ended up with a black eye due to a stripping attempt, but that's what I did. I pulled the damn bra breaking the dress and hit my eye with the wiring.

Then, of course I got more violent and decided to disarm my opponent, and I got a real fucking 5mm stab wound in my arm because apparently bras are indestructible.

Since I learned from my previous mistakes, I thought it would be a good idea, and I got my cooking knife out, I wanted to kill the dress, and the stupid tit holder.

I was the DD last night, so I did that all while completely sober, but in the morning I got weird looks from the spouse.

" You got in to a fight?"

" No"

" You want to explain your dress and your eye and that bandage?"

" No. I wouldn't ever share that with anyone."


I truly hope one member here has endured a situation of Yes I'm Stupid, like I have all day. I can't even lie and tell anyone who asks something, I just confess since this whole thing was so damn stupid, it was all on me but I rather lose all my cool points here than tell my husband how incompetent as a person I am.

So, anyone? You've been stupid?