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      04-14-2006, 05:18 PM   #1
BellasBmw
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Hmm Quick Question..

Ok so ya'll know about the disaster that my x did to me. And how he stole all my stuff including my dead grandmother's jewelry that was given to me after she passed away, and also some necklaces that my mom gave me for my birthday..etc.

Well i can get in contact with the girl that i know my x is talking to. I was thinking of sending her a msg saying this :

Quote:
Hey Arin-

I know this is really random, im pretty sure you know who i am. Anyway, the reason i'm writing to you is because i know you are still in contact with Sandy.

Im not sure if you know about the drama that happened between him and i during christmas but to make a long story short, he (or someone he hired) stole all my stuff, including my dead grandmother's jewelry. It was given to me after she passed away and it means alot. Also a few items that my mother gave me for birthday's growing up. I dont care about the other stuff that was stolen, its all material things and can be replaced, however this cant.

I guess what im wondering is, would you happen to know if he still has this stuff? I'm still cool with his old friends, but they dont talk to him anymore or else i would have found out through them. Anyway, if i hear back from you, cool, if not, o well. Thanks anyway.
However, i dont know if i am opening myself to more problems, even tho i want my stuff back. Should i just take this as a loss and move on, even though im still so freakin angry about all this, and cant move on. I dont know this girl , so she might be a bitch (she prob is since shes messign with him) or she might not be (naive like me). Confused..?
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      04-14-2006, 05:23 PM   #2
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Def let it go.

#1 This is a vindictive move, and we already know he WILL counter with something 10 times worse.

#2 since there are mutual friends involved in all your networks, you might loose creditabilty and respect amoung others who may view you as a rat, running to his friends and letting them in on stuff....

Also, they may not open up to you about cetain things since you could hold it against them, or atleast they would get that message after word was spread that you contacted this girl

Just my 2 cents.
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      04-14-2006, 05:23 PM   #3
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Hey, Bella - damn, so much drama! And I thought I had it bad when me and my g/f argued over what toppings to order for pizza delivery!

Jocularity aside, your ex may be brainwashing whatever girl he's sleeping with to form some kind of hatred against you. Your plan may even backfire if your ex finds out (either from the girl squealing or him snooping...hey, he did snoop over your emails/whatnot when you were with him).

If these things are *that* important, then I guess it can't get any worse than just giving it a try. Maybe it's a long shot, but what if you call your x directly and tell him straight up to hand your belongings back? That's pretty jacked up that he robbed you.
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      04-14-2006, 05:25 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squawks

If these things are *that* important, then I guess it can't get any worse than just giving it a try. Maybe it's a long shot, but what if you call your x directly and tell him straight up to hand your belongings back? That's pretty jacked up that he robbed you.
Well i cant call him directly cause i dont have his phone number. I dont know where he lives, i see him around my area but i never stop to talk.
I am worried that he did brainwash her into thinking im some terrible person so she may be all about defending him. But she doesnt know the whole story.. i dunno it just sucks, its been 4 months and im still :mad:
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      04-14-2006, 05:27 PM   #5
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Your dad not doing anything? Or bros?

If I had a daughter that was robbed by her b/f (now ex), I'd bust open a can of serious whoop-ass on that poor kid.
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      04-14-2006, 05:27 PM   #6
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Also, was your room the only room that was touched? and are you 100000000000% sure it was him? (if your room was the only room that was touched it means its someone in realation to you) and if you are 1000000% sure it was him, thats the proof?

Personally, if the situation was me (the one getting vandelised and stolen from), my response would be a lot diff then yours (considering the cops, considering a email type of slander) but thats just me.... but it prolly wudent happen to me to begin with....

I do feel bad for you, and I am sorry. And its lucky for your X that A, I dont live in CA, and B I wasnt really close with ya.
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      04-14-2006, 05:30 PM   #7
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I know you will immediatly disregard this option, however, what would happen if you called him and nicely invited him to a public place to sit down.

And as much as it kills you, apologize and suck it up and eventually (maybe with a few tears) ask for some stuff back?

Seems like your X might repsond best to that since hes prolly on a ego trip and thinks hes invinceable.... keep him like that....
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      04-14-2006, 05:31 PM   #8
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Also, other then this, is he a criminal?
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      04-14-2006, 05:34 PM   #9
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Hey Ant, why not file a police report? All emotions and manipulation aside, Burglary is burglary. Not sure when it becomes a felony - if you call the police, they'll likely ask you why you waited so long.

I'm sorry girl.
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      04-14-2006, 05:38 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowman811
Hey Ant, why not file a police report? All emotions and manipulation aside, Burglary is burglary. Not sure when it becomes a felony - if you call the police, they'll likely ask you why you waited so long.

I'm sorry girl.
she assumed that he did it........she can't prove it.....
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      04-14-2006, 05:38 PM   #11
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Dude thats a stupid idea.... Delete that post, lol
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      04-14-2006, 05:39 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wweoholic
Dude thats a stupid idea.... Delete that post, lol
yo talkin' to me?
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      04-14-2006, 05:40 PM   #13
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Police won't do anything. They can't even search the guy's house. The police these days are worthless. Five-O only good for shooting up black folks taking wallets out of their pockets and handing out traffic violations.
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      04-14-2006, 05:42 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaTuReB0Y
yo talkin' to me?
No, it was regarding snowmans post........ The police will give him cumminity service (If they even catch him but the prints (if there were prints) are gone....
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      04-14-2006, 05:42 PM   #15
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I did file a police report after it happened. And yes he was arrested because they had a file on him (he had a warrant from a DUI), and they found evidence of my stuff in his apartment. So yes im 100000% it was him, or someone he paid to do it. He tries to say he was framed, but its bullshit.

Yes my room was the only one trashed upside down, and my stuff was the only things jacked. Im just so mad still, i cry and and get mad, then sad.. and i just want answers. I cant talk to him,i have no way of getting a hold of him. And i know i shouldnt talk to him, it will make things worse.. so thats why i have this constant battle in my head.. i should stay away and forget the punk ass, but damn we went from talkin about moving in together, to breakin up, to never talking again, to him stealing all my shit, to him banging a bunch of whores..etc. I just dont know anymore
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      04-14-2006, 05:45 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squawks
Police won't do anything. They can't even search the guy's house. The police these days are worthless. Five-O only good for shooting up black folks taking wallets out of their pockets and handing out traffic violations.
so true.....my friend's house got broken into.....and one of the robbers dropped his cell phones.......
and the cops just told my buddy to file a claim with his insurance......they cleaned his house up!

over $10,000 worth of merchandise stolen....insurance paid only $600 for the
broken window(steel bars)...he paid the other $500 deductible!
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      04-14-2006, 05:46 PM   #17
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Hey Bella, damn - I have to sympathize with ya.

But it's all good - things can only go up from here. You got Nature and Mac comin' over to entertain you this weekend! Mac looks like the type who would bust out a car with guns ablazin' (a skill learned from protecting his 3 mommas) so maybe you can consult with him.
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      04-14-2006, 05:47 PM   #18
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I am telling you, best option is talk to him, i really really think thats the only way of accomplishing something, anything at all....

Its fine to feel sad, it was sentimental things that were stolen, but let the mad feeling go, unless you really really really wanna and can act on it....

Also, I really highly doubt he would spend money to have someone do it, and no real burgalr would have acted in the way your house was touched....

Since you are 10000% sure, i am guessing, HE (and only him) physically did it....

Justice system sux, so i wud also forget about that entirely....
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      04-14-2006, 05:52 PM   #19
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go talk to him. I went thru a similar situation. I know you wont get over it until you talk to him. You could wait 2 years and it would still be bothering you unless you get it out. You're confused because you're still in love with him- it's clouding your mind.
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      04-14-2006, 05:53 PM   #20
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Wow, that's a tough experience to go through. It seems like its only progressing worse and worse. I just saw a movie that has this good line, "Its ok to love, lose and learn. You will love again."

You will always have loving memories of your family, here and elsewhere. Nobody can take that away from you. Its the only possession you get to keep forever.

Your resentment towards him taking advantage of you is 100% understandable. Wounds take time to heal. But he will continue to steal from you if you don't let this go. He's continuing stealing your time, emotions and your mind. To be honest, I feel more sorry for him. He has to live with himself and he will reap what he sows. Life has a way of maintaining a balance. Trust in Karma.
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      04-14-2006, 05:56 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowman811
Wow, that's a tough experience to go through. It seems like its only progressing worse and worse. I just saw a movie that has this good line, "Its ok to love, lose and learn. You will love again."

You will always have loving memories of your family, here and elsewhere. Nobody can take that away from you. Its the only possession you get to keep forever.

Your resentment towards him taking advantage of you is 100% understandable. Wounds take time to heal. But he will continue to steal from you if you don't let this go. He's continuing stealing your time, emotions and your mind. To be honest, I feel more sorry for him. He has to live with himself and he will reap what he sows. Life has a way of maintaining a balance. Trust in Karma.


It's gonna take her a long time to get over it. After that incident it's gonna b hard for her to trust men again. She will be looking for him in all the guys she date for a while.
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      04-14-2006, 05:58 PM   #22
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Well i just feel so violated and betrayed. My dad paid off his truck for him so he can save money for us to get a place together and we were helping him start his own business. He would tell me how appreciative he was towards my family and this is how he repays us??he always told me that i was going to be the mother of his kids. He tried hard to be a better person, but he got caught up with the wrong people..again. When i purchased my car, he was going to make 1/2 of my monthly payments to help me out since he knew how bad i wanted it. And he did for a couple months..then he got wacky on me.

I saw his truck by my house on sunday. He was up at the baseball field.. i was SO close to stopping and going to talk to him but i dont know what kind of reaction to expect. He might be a dickhead, and do something worse to me. Or he might smooth talk me, and thats not good either.

My mom never liked the guy, so everytime i mention him or mention that im still angry and hurt, she just tells me to suck it up and get over it. And im SO tired of feelign like this.. IM so tired of feeling helpless, frustrated, hurt, heartbroken. Ive always been very strong, and i get over things quickly, but this was just unexpected..and maybe with time ill be able to move on naturally, but in the meantime, its preventing me from being able to #1- date, #2-trust, #3-have a positive outlook on relationships.. just sucks
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