[pdjafari]

From this forum...

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=112065561

Long story short here are the cliff notes...

He posted a thread he wanted to die....He had his internet cam on from 5am when he apparently OD'd on ultram, lexapro xanax and roxicodone and posted his suicide note'. He had 'cried wolf' before so mods/admins pushed away requests to inform authorities stating he's an attention whore. Many members on that forum watched his cam and said his breathing was slow first 3 hours then ceased. One member had his phone # from a previous thread and posted it up. They got mods involved to trace IP, called his local police dept. Police at first thought it was a hoax. Dude hadnt budged in over 5 hours from his original position yet lighting from his camera changed...

In the end the vid shows what happened at the end.... His friends on his myspace are also worried after members on the forum found his profile and sent his friends messages, one of his friends confirms he's dead...

Video of the ending when the police/paramedics break down his door....

http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=espzsh&s=4

His myspace profile...

http://www.myspace.com/forgettingthepastagain

His suicide note which he apparently had copied parts from a google suicide note he had found and modified...

"To Whom It May Concern,
I am going to leave this for whoever stumbles across my bookmarks later on.
I hate myself and I hate living. I think that if someone who knows me
reads this they will know who I am. So I will leave this unsigned. I am
an a@#hole. I have let everyone down and I feel as though I will never
change or never improve. I am in love with a girl and I know that I am
not good enough for her. I have come
to believe that my life has all been meaningless. I keep trying and I
keep failing. I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in
the past. I used to think of my failure as some mystical way of telling
me that I was really meant for something meaningful. The only thing I
dread, besides the pain, is the way my family will suffer. I do not want
my mother or father to think that it was anything they did that lead me
to kill myself. I never really had any plans of leaving a note. I
thought that I would not be able to describe why I want to do this and I
am right. There is no way to tell you or anyone else why I dread every
new day. My father had such high expectations for me and tried to give
me every opportunity to improve upon myself. I let him down. I think
that I am a major disappointment to him. I have a job but I?m always broke
and I am in college but barely, I show up to class but that?s about it.
I want my life to end. I am tired of f@#$ing up everything. I
am tired of people always telling me that they do not like me. I am
tired of trying to be decent. I hope that someone finds this post and I
hope that my parents know that I f@#$ed up not them. It is my fault I
screwed up my own life.
The hate that rages within me, rages not for those I love so dearly or
those who have crossed my path.
This hate rages full force towards me and only me.
I have long forgiven those who've hurt me, but I have not and cannot
come to terms to forgive myself for the things I have done to myself, and
the things I've done to hurt those in my life.
You have all touched my life in one way or another,
especially those whom I call family.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am for ending my life the way I did. I
hope that you can all find it in your heart to see it as way for me not
suffering anymore and that I am finally at rest with myself, for being at
rest with the guilt that constantly ate at me for so long.
Please forgive me all for taking my own life so early. I tried so hard
to fight against this strong battle. I have reached out for help so many
times, and yet I believe, I was turned away because of the things I did,
that it is a punishment I am willing to take, for I know that being who I am
has only brought myself and others pain.
I love you all and will forever live within the memories we created.
Forgive me.
Love always and forever,
As for my signature I will leave you with a quote so that if anyone
reads this they will know it's me, "Can?t feel pain if your dead? Just Saying"

[dgliango]

thats pretty crazy. whats with all these weird threads on body building forums.

[just4kickz]

...

[cryptkeeper]

RIP

[ZStig]

hmm.

[e92leon]

wooooowww intense sh*t

[e92leon]

Originally Posted by dgliango

thats pretty crazy. whats with all these weird threads on body building forums.

exactly what I was thinking

[Year's_End]

what the hell...that's messed up.

[ideliver]

Originally Posted by dgliango

thats pretty crazy. whats with all these weird threads on body building forums.

that's just way crazy...this will make the cable news stories...but what is with these BB guys...they owe each other reps???

[Amir87]

I'm speachless.

[mpimping]

who would want to watch that

[wj4]

Originally Posted by mpimping

who would want to watch that

Exactly. Truly disturbing just to read.

[endofanera7]

oh man that's fucking sad. RIP

just saw this while screening though the thread. wtf? some dude were laughing while some screaming in disbelieve and 1 dude actually say "HELLO POLICE OFFICER!!" -_-"

[JayeJaymes]

dude wtf, that some fked up stuff....poor guy man

[DougLikesBMW]

Wow, well that sucks. Vid made me laugh though...In my defense, it was the wood hitting him in the butt, the retarded cops, the mouse on his butt...not the fact that he killed himself.

[radix]

Originally Posted by endofanera7

oh man that's fucking sad. RIP

just saw this while screening though the thread. wtf? some dude were laughing while some screaming in disbelieve and 1 dude actually say "HELLO POLICE OFFICER!!" -_-"

People that laugh at that sort of thing should be made to laugh in front of that poor guys family. I've no respect for chicken sh** a$$holes who act like that while posting anonymously. I don't use a pseudonym for that precise reason, because I like to conduct myself on the internet as I do in real life.

[endofanera7]

Originally Posted by anmcguire

People that laugh at that sort of thing should be made to laugh in front of that poor guys family. I've no respect for chicken sh** a$$holes who act like that while posting anonymously. I don't use a pseudonym for that precise reason, because I like conduct myself on the internet as I do in real life.

I was reading a few pages of that thread. Some dude actually texted him and tell him to commit suicide... why the fuck would someone do that to an emo guy?

[radix]

Originally Posted by endofanera7

I was reading a few pages of that thread. Some dude actually texted him and tell him to commit suicide... why the fuck would someone do that to an emo guy?

Because he's a sick f$#k. This world is full of sick, vapid idiots that enjoy other peoples misery and misfortune. I'm generally not a misanthrope, but I do acknowledge that the fact that these people exist. Sometimes the world is a sad place. The internet perpetuates the issue because anonymity just gives these people a voice they wouldn't otherwise have.

BTW, I'm not arguing against anonymity, but rather the e-thug idiots who abuse it.

[Inspired]

wow.. that is very sad. Just read about 50 pages from that thread. Wasted like an hour. FUCK. ruined my day.

[Blake]

not trying to be an asshole, but if he wanted help he could have gotten it. looks like he had lots of friends (i read through some of his comments on my*******, all it takes is confiding in one of them and asking for them to help somehow. he wanted attention and he went about it the entirely wrong way...it was a cry for help. i just don't get how people can bring themselves to commit suicide. there's just no excuse to me.

[Year's_End]

what the hell is wrong with those fuckers on that chat screen. "lol"? wtf. that's so wrong on so many levels.

i seriously question what the internet does to people sometimes.

[Blake]

Originally Posted by Bimmer Loyalist

what the hell is wrong with those fuckers on that chat screen. "lol"? wtf. that's so wrong on so many levels.

i seriously question what the internet does to people sometimes.

have you ever been here?