[Tommy-G]

I had someone I know apply for a position in my company. I hired him about 6 years ago at a different company and about 5 years ago set him up with my female best friend at the time.
She ended up moving into his home where he verbally and financially abused her for years.

This guy is very skilled at his trade and would contribute to my personal income.

My dilemma, I dont think I could have him working for me every day regardless of how difficult it is to find good skilled people and b/c of the way he treats people.

Thoughts????

[Frostynorth]

I'd can his ass on general principle.

[BMWILUVU]

If he would poison the work environment, I would pass but if we had a good professional relationship and he can behave at work then give it a go.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Frostynorth

I'd can his ass on general principle.

He doesnt currently work for me, he applied with me. He's still at the previous company we worked at

[Oldgixxer]

You say this female was your best friend and he treats her like shit and is abusive? Dunno bout you,but I'd smack the shit outta him. I value friends and family more than money. You can always find more ways to generate income. Can't put a price on loved ones. At least that's my perspective

[floridaorange]

To what extent is he verbally and financially abusive btw? I'm guessing you have more details? Literally abusive verbally?

Abuses the woman he's supposed to be protecting?

Or you have a meeting with him and see what's going on, help him find counseling.

[spazzyfry123]

Don't mix friends/family with business. Rarely ends up well regardless of how it will start.

[DETRoadster]

In what way is this even a difficult decision? You're essentially grappling with selling out your morals. Imagine sitting down with your best female friend and explaining to her your justification for hiring the guy that was her abuser. You know, because he could make you a lot of money.

[Frostynorth]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

He doesnt currently work for me, he applied with me. He's still at the previous company we worked at

For me it's a question if I would hate myself in the long run. Can you see his face daily after how he treated you best friend.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Oldgixxer

You say this female was your best friend and he treats her like shit and is abusive? Dunno bout you,but I'd smack the shit outta him. I value friends and family more than money. You can always find more ways to generate income. Can't put a price on loved ones. At least that's my perspective

I tried to intervene, he and I had words but she had no where else to live. Unfortunately, a few dogs and a cat make it very hard to find an apartment around here. Her staying with him has caused us to not be close anymore. She chose to stay in a bad relationship and I don't have much tolerance for that when you make the choice to stay even when others offer help.

Originally Posted by floridaorange

To what extent is he verbally and financially abusive btw? I'm guessing you have more details? Literally abusive verbally?

Abuses the woman he's supposed to be protecting?

Or you have a meeting with him and see what's going on, help him find counseling.

He would yell and scream at here for simple items, like parking too far over in the driveway or not carrying her phone outside when he would call. Financially he makes double what she does and shes making just enough to get buy but he makes her pay for groceries, cable, both cell phones and other items in a house he owns. Then he tells her she cant spend money on clothes and certain foods and wants her to buy an 85 Accord so she can take on more of the expenses by having a lower car payment. Its much deeper than just those examples but thats the gist. They go out to dinner but he makes her pay for her half etc etc.

Originally Posted by spazzyfry123

Don't mix friends/family with business. Rarely ends up well regardless of how it will start.

You guys have all pretty much confirmed my feelings....I just didnt know if I was being selfish and shouldnt allow my personal feelings in the way of business. To me, if youre a bad person to other people I dont want you working with me anyway but I needed to hear it from others

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

In what way is this even a difficult decision? You're essentially grappling with selling out your morals. Imagine sitting down with your best female friend and explaining to her your justification for hiring the guy that was her abuser. You know, because he could make you a lot of money.

No, you are completely right and thats my struggle its def not me wanting the money its me wondering as a manager "should" i care more about the company making money verses my personal feelings.....but my company also would not tolderate that behavior so you guys have all just reaffirmed my thoughts. However, she chose to stay with him and pull away from our friendship b/c I kept voicing my opinion.

Originally Posted by Frostynorth

For me it's a question if I would hate myself in the long run. Can you see his face daily after how he treated you best friend.

Nope, youre right

[NYG]

Don't want to get into a whole deep series of ethics here which make it look like I'm justifying his behavior outside of the office or that he's a good person (I'm not). It sounds like you get what you see with him. You know his weakness' and you know his strengths - I've learned over the years that the people who you think are decent human-beings are usually hiding the worst skeletons and the ones capable of the worst acts. I've had to defend myself and my partners in court over atrocious lies by people who, at the time, I thought I was lucky to have employed... gold stars up and down the list.

If this guy can advance your career/income/quality of life and you know what you're getting with him then, as a business owner, you do it. You don't have to respect his personality or think he's a good person. Don't get involved in people's personal lives - let the courts handle it if there is something to be handled. Everyone is different, everyone grows up in unique environments with unique genetic factors. The rude, loud-mouthed, blunt person that people assume are terrible are 99.9% of the time better people than your run of the mill redditor/child molester who appears to be "progressive" and "well-adjusted."

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by NYG

Don't want to get into a whole deep series of ethics here which make it look like I'm justifying his behavior outside of the office or that he's a good person (I'm not). It sounds like you get what you see with him. You know his weakness' and you know his strengths - I've learned over the years that the people who you think are decent human-beings are usually hiding the worst skeletons and the ones capable of the worst acts. I've had to defend myself and my partners in court over atrocious lies by people who, at the time, I thought I was lucky to have employed... gold stars up and down the list.

If this guy can advance your career/income/quality of life and you know what you're getting with him then, as a business owner, you do it. You don't have to respect his personality or think he's a good person. Don't get involved in people's personal lives - let the courts handle it if there is something to be handled. Everyone is different, everyone grows up in unique environments with unique genetic factors. The rude, loud-mouthed, blunt person that people assume are terrible are 99.9% of the time better people than your run of the mill redditor/child molester who appears to be "progressive" and "well-adjusted."

Got any good stories you can tell????

[2000cs]

Don’t hire him. Bad behavior tends to show itself in multiple places over time; I would expect poor treatment of other employees, customers, suppliers. I’ve seen variations of this movie several times in my career; always the same ending.

[NYG]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

Got any good stories you can tell????

Tons but there are so many layers to it all that it would take forever.

I'm not saying you should trample your own morals but everyone deserves an opportunity to be understood deeper than just the surface of their prior actions or personality.

Always focus on yourself and your family because a lot of the folks who tell you to take the moral highground, wouldn't give you a penny if you were sleeping outside. It's cheap virtual signaling.

[Maynard]

Wait - your response to setting up your female best friend with an abusive controlling dick, and her being financially stuck because of a moral obligatin of keeping her pets, was to 'not be close w/ her anymore'?!

[VINCER0]

Like you said, deep down you already knew the answer all along, just needed to hear it once more.

He treats his partner like trash knowing she's your best friend. Don't let that snake near you or your livelihood.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Maynard

Wait - your response to setting up your female best friend with an abusive controlling dick, and her being financially stuck because of a moral obligatin of keeping her pets, was to 'not be close w/ her anymore'?!

That was her choice. Not mine.....I tried to help and she was tired of hearing me complain about the way he treated her

[KevinC]

He's abusing your female best friend, and you're asking US if you should can his ass? C'mon man.

[Darth One]

Management is indeed tough, but this isn’t one of the reasons why. I personally would have a very tough time working with someone i hated/knew was an asshole.

Of course, I’m sure you’re savvy enough to decline his application with a different reason that “because i know you’re a terrible person in your personal life”

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

No, you are completely right and thats my struggle its def not me wanting the money its me wondering as a manager "should" i care more about the company making money verses my personal feelings.....but my company also would not tolderate that behavior so you guys have all just reaffirmed my thoughts. However, she chose to stay with him and pull away from our friendship b/c I kept voicing my opinion.

Nope, youre right

As a Manager you have a responsibility to the company to not hire assholes who treat people like shit. Most times you don't have the type of insider info you have and it becomes a matter of you as an manager firing someone who displays those attributes. In this case you have an advantage and can save the company money by not risking bringing on board a toxic and volatile personality. By not hiring him or even entertaining his application, you are in fact looking out for the company and potentially saving them money.

[Tommy-G]

^Boom! I like that