For those easily offended...

samwoo2go · 12-09-2010, 04:58 PM

So apparently some old prunes think my "last saturday" story was offensive and irressponsible. If you are easily offended here is the PG version. if you think you can handle the R version after this, go here and have a read.

http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=463424

Last Saturday...
Me and my mate went out to a club to have a rest from our exhausting talks about god and careers, because the parking attendant said it was a rather dashing place. I had a glass of pineapple juice with a hint of lime, because I am not suppose to drink, it was quite splendid. My mate had half a pint of lager, because he was uncomfortable with this promiscuous women staring at us and winking the whole time. I personally think it's because of the nice new jumper I had on that my mum purchased for me last week at JC Penny. We got up to leave after an hour because the loud music was hurting our ears, what's a "G6" anyways? We should be getting home soon anyways because it was already 9 and I want to catch the late night shows in my pajamas and snuggie!

When we got up to leave, this scantily dressed woman (the one that likes my jumper) approached me and asked me if I want to buy her a drink. I said "OK, bartender, another glass of pineapple juice for this nice young lady here." She didn't drink it, I think she might be allergic to pineapples. I should've asked first, how boorish of me. She then started to lick her lips while staring at me, so I offered her my chapstick to make up for my cheeky behavior prior. She said "ahh...no thanks." Then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to "fuck" while rubbing her hands all over my sensitive area. She was really pretty, so I said, "o thank you, but how about you give me your address so I can write you letters and sonnets and we can court and when we get married we can have each other for the first time...it would be truly marvelous." she gave me this look which I can only describe as admiration and then said "fucking f@g?". I said "no thanks, I don't smoke because it's bad for me." She left angrily, I feel like I said something wrong...

We get to the car and I reminded my mate he shouldn't drive because he had that half pint an hour and 13 minutes ago...o wait...wait...wait...make that 1 hour and 14 minutes ago! HA HA HA, we both snicker at my witty comment. We can't be too careful these days. He happily thanked me for my kind reminders and we promptly hailed a cab home, it was $350 because we live more than 70 miles away, but it was worth it for a piece of mind I always say. I paid for it, because the poor chap has to pay another $350 tomorrow to get back to his car.

I got back to my flat, switched into my pajamas and had a wonderful night of sleep. The next morning I woke up alone like I always have but I do feel extra refreshed, and it was quite a beautiful Sunday so I said "o what a great day to do something rather dashing!" So I decided to grab my beloved pooch and fucked it in the ass. O what a fantastic way to end a splendid weekend.

Cheers mate

BlackMoupe · 12-09-2010, 05:00 PM

Hahahahahahaha <3 off topic.

Turbo>NA · 12-09-2010, 05:05 PM

I dont get why people get offensive? What did you say that offensive?

You did somethn wrong and you learned from it. Simple.

CollinsE90 · 12-09-2010, 05:05 PM

In for when I get home

NYCGarbagePrince · 12-09-2010, 05:14 PM

"Fucking ***" .... did she mean "*** Fucking" ?

choicez · 12-09-2010, 05:16 PM

samwoo2go · 12-09-2010, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCGarbagePrince

Aww you posted it here... didn't you already post this in the other thread.

Because apparently this cock muncher decided to stop reading after the red part, he will never find it. Maximum exposure my friend...maximum exposure!

samwoo2go · 12-09-2010, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCGarbagePrince

"Fucking ***" .... did she mean "*** Fucking" ?

there I fixed it, mods let me know if want me to change that, but I mean cigarettes, don't ban me please I just got back.

dragon1761 · 12-09-2010, 05:32 PM

haha. Seriously why would they read it if they find it offensive. If you dont like it dont read it stop bit*hing. I find it very entertaining especially with long work hours.

haha keep up the good work.

Tondtar · 12-09-2010, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samwoo2go

So apparently some old prunes think my "last saturday" story was offensive and irressponsible. If you are easily offended here is the PG version. if you think you can handle the R version after this, go here and have a read.

http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=463424

Last Saturday...
Me and my mate went out to a club to have a rest from our exhausting talks about god and careers, because the parking attendant said it was a rather dashing place. I had a glass of pineapple juice with a hint of lime, because I am not suppose to drink, it was quite splendid. My mate had half a pint of lager, because he was uncomfortable with this promiscuous women staring at us and winking the whole time. I personally think it's because of the nice new jumper I had on that my mum purchased for me last week at JC Penny. We got up to leave after an hour because the loud music was hurting our ears, what's a "G6" anyways? We should be getting home soon anyways because it was already 9 and I want to catch the late night shows in my pajamas and snuggie!

When we got up to leave, this scantily dressed woman (the one that likes my jumper) approached me and asked me if I want to buy her a drink. I said "OK, bartender, another glass of pineapple juice for this nice young lady here." She didn't drink it, I think she might be allergic to pineapples. I should've asked first, how boorish of me. She then started to lick her lips while staring at me, so I offered her my chapstick to make up for my cheeky behavior prior. She said "ahh...no thanks." Then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to "fuck" while rubbing her hands all over my sensitive area. She was really pretty, so I said, "o thank you, but how about you give me your address so I can write you letters and sonnets and we can court and when we get married we can have each other for the first time...it would be truly marvelous." she gave me this look which I can only describe as admiration and then said "fucking ***?". I said "no thanks, I don't smoke because it's bad for me." She left angrily, I feel like I said something wrong...

We get to the car and I reminded my mate he shouldn't drive because he had that half pint an hour and 13 minutes ago...o wait...wait...wait...make that 1 hour and 14 minutes ago! HA HA HA, we both snicker at my witty comment. We can't be too careful these days. He happily thanked me for my kind reminders and we promptly hailed a cab home, it was $350 because we live more than 70 miles away, but it was worth it for a piece of mind I always say. I paid for it, because the poor chap has to pay another $350 tomorrow to get back to his car.

I got back to my flat, switched into my pajamas and had a wonderful night of sleep. The next morning I woke up alone like I always have but I do feel extra refreshed, and it was quite a beautiful Sunday so I said "o what a great day to do something rather dashing!" So I decided to grab my beloved pooch and fucked it in the ass. O what a fantastic way to end a splendid weekend.

Cheers mate

Sam,

Can you please clarify that I was not included in that "Old Prune" batch you are referring to? ...Thanks, man ...and Cool Story Bro

bmwmthree · 12-09-2010, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by samwoo2go

Because apparently this cock muncher decided to stop reading after the red part, he will never find it. Maximum exposure my friend...maximum exposure!

ghosthi32 · 12-09-2010, 06:30 PM

LOLOOL

samwoo2go · 12-09-2010, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tondtar

Sam,

Can you please clarify that I was not included in that "Old Prune" batch you are referring to? ...Thanks, man ...and Cool Story Bro

lol ur cool, u got some fucked up posts urself

aretardedorange · 12-09-2010, 07:37 PM

I read that story in class today...I LOLED and got some funny looks. I hope you don't get aids and die =/.

FStop7 · 12-09-2010, 08:39 PM

don't be such a drama queen. some people didn't like your story. bfd.

abisson · 12-09-2010, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FStop7

don't be such a drama queen. some people didn't like your story. bfd.

don't be such a douche. some people don't like your comments. bfd.

Bakeme521 · 12-09-2010, 08:59 PM

hahaha epic

intensee92 · 12-09-2010, 09:02 PM

hahahaha

skinnycow · 12-09-2010, 09:05 PM

i thought it was a woman's job to get offended and complain

Tondtar · 12-09-2010, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skinnycow

i thought it was a woman's job to get offended and complain

Yeah, but they wait until they are married before pulling that shit every time

skinnycow · 12-09-2010, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tondtar

Yeah, but they wait until they are married before pulling that shit every time

they wait til they are married and then the real them comes out haha

FStop7 · 12-09-2010, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by abisson

don't be such a douche. some people don't like your comments. bfd.

Drives: 2010 GTI MKVI

ahahahaha

12-09-2010, 04:58 PM	#1
samwoo2go Banned 476 Rep 779 Posts Drives: E92 335i Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SoCal iTrader: (12)	So apparently some old prunes think my "last saturday" story was offensive and irressponsible. If you are easily offended here is the PG version. if you think you can handle the R version after this, go here and have a read. http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=463424 Last Saturday... Me and my mate went out to a club to have a rest from our exhausting talks about god and careers, because the parking attendant said it was a rather dashing place. I had a glass of pineapple juice with a hint of lime, because I am not suppose to drink, it was quite splendid. My mate had half a pint of lager, because he was uncomfortable with this promiscuous women staring at us and winking the whole time. I personally think it's because of the nice new jumper I had on that my mum purchased for me last week at JC Penny. We got up to leave after an hour because the loud music was hurting our ears, what's a "G6" anyways? We should be getting home soon anyways because it was already 9 and I want to catch the late night shows in my pajamas and snuggie! When we got up to leave, this scantily dressed woman (the one that likes my jumper) approached me and asked me if I want to buy her a drink. I said "OK, bartender, another glass of pineapple juice for this nice young lady here." She didn't drink it, I think she might be allergic to pineapples. I should've asked first, how boorish of me. She then started to lick her lips while staring at me, so I offered her my chapstick to make up for my cheeky behavior prior. She said "ahh...no thanks." Then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to "fuck" while rubbing her hands all over my sensitive area. She was really pretty, so I said, "o thank you, but how about you give me your address so I can write you letters and sonnets and we can court and when we get married we can have each other for the first time...it would be truly marvelous." she gave me this look which I can only describe as admiration and then said "fucking f@g?". I said "no thanks, I don't smoke because it's bad for me." She left angrily, I feel like I said something wrong... We get to the car and I reminded my mate he shouldn't drive because he had that half pint an hour and 13 minutes ago...o wait...wait...wait...make that 1 hour and 14 minutes ago! HA HA HA, we both snicker at my witty comment. We can't be too careful these days. He happily thanked me for my kind reminders and we promptly hailed a cab home, it was $350 because we live more than 70 miles away, but it was worth it for a piece of mind I always say. I paid for it, because the poor chap has to pay another $350 tomorrow to get back to his car. I got back to my flat, switched into my pajamas and had a wonderful night of sleep. The next morning I woke up alone like I always have but I do feel extra refreshed, and it was quite a beautiful Sunday so I said "o what a great day to do something rather dashing!" So I decided to grab my beloved pooch and fucked it in the ass. O what a fantastic way to end a splendid weekend. Cheers mate Last edited by samwoo2go; 12-09-2010 at 05:17 PM..
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12-09-2010, 05:00 PM	#2
BlackMoupe Mouper 127 Rep 1,064 Posts Drives: _____ Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: _____ iTrader: (1)	Hahahahahahaha <3 off topic.
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12-09-2010, 05:05 PM	#3
Turbo>NA xbox gamertag: HuGeBluEmOnKeY 271 Rep 3,757 Posts Drives: M-Sport LCI Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: SoCal (626) iTrader: (2)	I dont get why people get offensive? What did you say that offensive? You did somethn wrong and you learned from it. Simple. __________________ E92 335i alpine white \| black dokota \| auto \| zpp \| zsp \| heated \| iPod - ltbmw : vorsteiner : linea corsa : h&r : k&n : e92-lighting : expectalot-vinyl - --GONE--
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12-09-2010, 05:05 PM	#4
CollinsE90 Where my bitches 803 Rep 1,924 Posts Drives: Cadillac coupe deville Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: street corner checking profits iTrader: (0)	In for when I get home __________________
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12-09-2010, 05:14 PM	#5
NYCGarbagePrince Major 260 Rep 1,435 Posts Drives: X6 50i Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: NYC iTrader: (0)	"Fucking *" .... did she mean "* Fucking" ?
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12-09-2010, 05:16 PM	#6
choicez Major 276 Rep 1,124 Posts Drives: you mad Join Date: May 2009 Location: LA iTrader: (15)
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12-09-2010, 05:32 PM	#9
dragon1761 Lieutenant 98 Rep 528 Posts Drives: 128i SGM 08; 328i AW 14 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Arcadia, CA iTrader: (0)	haha. Seriously why would they read it if they find it offensive. If you dont like it dont read it stop bit*hing. I find it very entertaining especially with long work hours. haha keep up the good work.
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12-09-2010, 06:30 PM	#12
ghosthi32 Banned 39 Rep 2,504 Posts Drives: Water camel Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: strait of hormuz iTrader: (0)	LOLOOL
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12-09-2010, 07:37 PM	#14
aretardedorange Banned 177 Rep 609 Posts Drives: E60 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Empire State iTrader: (6)	I read that story in class today...I LOLED and got some funny looks. I hope you don't get aids and die =/.
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12-09-2010, 08:39 PM	#15
FStop7 I like cars 354 Rep 5,051 Posts Drives: M6 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Newbury Park, CA iTrader: (3)	don't be such a drama queen. some people didn't like your story. bfd.
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12-09-2010, 08:59 PM	#17
Bakeme521 Some say... 255 Rep 4,296 Posts Drives: Fresh Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Baton Rouge n NOLA iTrader: (12) Garage List 2007 BMW 335i [8.24]	hahaha epic __________________ I have exhaust and an intake...
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12-09-2010, 09:02 PM	#18
intensee92 Colonel 55 Rep 2,468 Posts Drives: Your Girl Crazy. Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Charlotte iTrader: (12)	hahahaha
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12-09-2010, 09:05 PM	#19
skinnycow condoms prevent minivans 244 Rep 223 Posts Drives: Batmobile Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kitchen iTrader: (0)	i thought it was a woman's job to get offended and complain
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