[klipseracer]

My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married in another country. She said Aruba, I don't know if she knows what she's talking about or if it just sounds exotic to her, but what do you guys think?

I'm Korean but my family is white because I'm adopted. She is Chinese from hong kong and her family only speaks Cantonese. My family obviously doesn't speak Cantonese so that would be quite an awkward wedding considering that my family eats steak and potatoes and her family eats chicken's feet and so on(lol). The wedding traditions are entirely different as well from what type of ceremonial clothing to the gifts even the basic principles. She would want to get married in New York where all her family is if we got married in the states, but my family lives in the North West and it would be difficult to get my extended family there all at once. It would be simpler for us to just go somewhere neutral(Aruba) get married, have a honeymoon and then come back and spend a few days with each family.

What do you guys think?

[BimmerPod]

Hawaii. Aruba is ok for a quick vacation but unless youre ok with everyone moving at a snails pace I'd avoid it.

[Tondtar]

I'd say, you need to get married in a Muslim country. That way it leaves you with up to three more "upgrade" options in the future and it's still legal




Of course, that is if you can stand the first one after a few months in the first place

[Quick6EF]

inb4dontdoit

[CollinsE90]

Originally Posted by BimmerPod

Hawaii. Aruba is ok for a quick vacation but unless youre ok with everyone moving at a snails pace I'd avoid it.

Wedding in Hawaii? real original

[klipseracer]

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

Wedding in Hawaii? real original

lol

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by klipseracer

lol

+1

That movie had me almost crying I was laughing so hard in some parts.


But to original question - I don't know. Do you want a few guests? If so, do you plan on paying their way, or expect them to pay? Sometimes its a little presumptous of the bride/groom to expect people will want to show up at the destination of their choice and spend that kind of cash (especially since they would feel guilty not bringing a gift). That's my take on it anyway - I generally don't attend destination weddings unless I really actually want to go there myself - otherwise, I'm just subsidizing the bride/groom (because the more guests they get - the cheaper their trip is - resorts do that).

[BimmerPod]

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

Wedding in Hawaii? real original

Skipped the part about originality!

Bali

[klipseracer]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

+1

That movie had me almost crying I was laughing so hard in some parts.


But to original question - I don't know. Do you want a few guests? If so, do you plan on paying their way, or expect them to pay? Sometimes its a little presumptous of the bride/groom to expect people will want to show up at the destination of their choice and spend that kind of cash (especially since they would feel guilty not bringing a gift). That's my take on it anyway - I generally don't attend destination weddings unless I really actually want to go there myself - otherwise, I'm just subsidizing the bride/groom (because the more guests they get - the cheaper their trip is - resorts do that).

Not sure if we'd bring anyone. I think it would be good to have a few people with us. Close friends really, probably not family.

[M3Bahn]

Get married in Hong Kong, it's an exciting place plus you get bonus points with her.

[nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn]

Originally Posted by klipseracer

Not sure if we'd bring anyone. I think it would be good to have a few people with us. Close friends really, probably not family.

That's a really good way to piss off both of your families. If you are going to have anyone at the ceremony that you know, it has to be the parents. How about you fly both of your parents to whatever location, have the ceremony, then tell both of your parents that when they get home to spread the word that you are going to have a get together at sometime in the near future to celebrate the marriage. Problem solved.

I'm sending you a bill, pay me $5k for the headache I helped you avoid and for saving you a shit ton of money.

[JayKay335i]

I personally think destination weddings are dumb and wouldn't show up to one unless it was a first degree relative, that I liked, or my best friends. Even then, I'd call them assbags and ass them to chip in.

[CollinsE90]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

I personally think destination weddings are dumb and wouldn't show up to one unless it was a first degree relative, that I liked, or my best friends. Even then, I'd call them assbags and ass them to chip in.

you're jewish, this is common knowledge

[JayKay335i]

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

you're jewish, this is common knowledge

This is true. I manage my finances well. Happy holidays to all my fellow jews. Fuck everybody else.

[nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

This is true. I manage my finances well. Happy holidays to all my fellow jews. Fuck everybody else.

Which one out of 40 is this? Is this one of 37 equivalents to MLK day?

[JayKay335i]

Originally Posted by ferrari355fi

Which one out of 40 is this? Is this one of 37 equivalents to MLK day?

This is one of the important ones.

Your other mentioned "holidays" dont exist as far as I'm concerned.

[Zephyr15]

My wedding/reception was in the BVI, but we did a civil ceremony with immediate family to make it legal beforehand. I liked the destination wedding because it allowed us to have a small event with people we cared about and make the wedding a multi-day event with several activities. The only negative was that the local minister we used, who was very serious and solemn all week before the ceremony about the whole concept of marriage, turned into a Caribbean DJ when someone handed him a microphone to do the ceremony.

Unless you're swimming in it and can pay everyone's way you should do the following: (1) accept that not everyone will be able to come; (2) tell your guests that making the trip is their gift to you; (3) plan the event with your guests travel, lodging and meals in mind (it's a vacation for them, make sure it's a place they would want to go!); and (4) find ways to make things cheaper for the guests and/or kick in some money to them (could negotiate discount with resort, pay $x from each guest's bill up front, etc.).

[klipseracer]

Originally Posted by Zephyr15

My wedding/reception was in the BVI, but we did a civil ceremony with immediate family to make it legal beforehand. I liked the destination wedding because it allowed us to have a small event with people we cared about and make the wedding a multi-day event with several activities. The only negative was that the local minister we used, who was very serious and solemn all week before the ceremony about the whole concept of marriage, turned into a Caribbean DJ when someone handed him a microphone to do the ceremony.

Unless you're swimming in it and can pay everyone's way you should do the following: (1) accept that not everyone will be able to come; (2) tell your guests that making the trip is their gift to you; (3) plan the event with your guests travel, lodging and meals in mind (it's a vacation for them, make sure it's a place they would want to go!); and (4) find ways to make things cheaper for the guests and/or kick in some money to them (could negotiate discount with resort, pay $x from each guest's bill up front, etc.).

The reason we want to escape the families is to not have to deal with the cultural norms of each side. Bringing my family even if its a small portion of them defeats this purpose. BLAH. I dunno lol.

[greycrx87]

Tortola, Bvi - Long Beach Resort

[boymonkey]

Tell her family to come to the northwest. It's probably cheaper than your extended family going to new york. Her relatives coming from Hong Kong will pass through either Seattle or LA anyway.

[tHegeRm]

Originally Posted by klipseracer

The reason we want to escape the families is to not have to deal with the cultural norms of each side. Bringing my family even if its a small portion of them defeats this purpose. BLAH. I dunno lol.

I hear you there. I'm white, my girl's family is Vietnamese Catholic. If we even speak the word wedding we are both getting stuck dealing with a ceremony neither one of us want. Elope and after have a small ceremony here that you can give the family all the special requests they want.

+1 for Bali

and bring your close friends along. Perhaps another couple or two.

[Zephyr15]

Originally Posted by klipseracer

The reason we want to escape the families is to not have to deal with the cultural norms of each side. Bringing my family even if its a small portion of them defeats this purpose. BLAH. I dunno lol.

It's going to be awful tough to get married and not have any family present, but it's your wedding so I say do what you want to do. Some up front honesty with your family may help smooth things out.

You've already suggested semi-eloping by taking a "vacation" with a few close friends and getting married while away (maybe spend the last days of the vacation by yourselves or, better yet, take another week). Then, as was previously suggested, you could have a separate party with each family. Sounds like the best idea so far.