A classified ad worth reading! F'n hilarious!

sistom · 10-19-2011, 04:05 PM

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/pm...619410616.html

Here is the content of the page:

Quote:

Skyline! 1990 GTSt - $5000 (Maple Ridge)

Date: 2011-10-17, 12:39PM PDT
Reply to: sale-bqyhj-2619410616@craigslist.org

This isn't your normal skyline. This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.

Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.

Seats? this cocks*cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.

This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.

Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.

This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.

Location: Maple Ridge
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

txz4 · 10-19-2011, 04:10 PM

AHAHAHAHAH

EngineCo52 · 10-23-2011, 02:19 AM

waahahahahahahahahahahah LMFAO

TroyDeJ · 10-23-2011, 10:42 PM

that was absolutely the funniest thing ive ever read hahahahahaha

CJ421 · 10-23-2011, 10:47 PM

LMAO!!!!

choicez · 10-23-2011, 10:50 PM

shazzy04 · 10-30-2011, 06:33 PM

LMAO

crimsonred335is · 10-30-2011, 06:39 PM

That made my day!

Chewy734 · 10-30-2011, 10:29 PM

haha... awesome.

lopealle · 10-31-2011, 02:18 AM

Ha

Dvdman · 10-31-2011, 11:18 AM

Funny.

sistom · 10-31-2011, 11:42 AM

I still get a kick out of this every time I read it! hahaha

dtwyim · 11-08-2011, 10:54 PM

Would be interesting to meet the writer in person and have a conservation with him.

darebornsolja · 11-09-2011, 12:36 AM

I second that. If this guy wrote this about a skyline, imagine what he'll write about a v8 m3 or higher... sh**s getting serious son LOL

Focusedintntions · 11-09-2011, 08:28 AM

LMao nice find!

BMW Fanatic · 11-16-2011, 06:19 PM

HAHAHA I've never been to this section on the forums, but I'm gonna have to come here more often. It's still on sale FYI LOL.

chris@rsituning · 11-22-2011, 11:00 AM

hahahah that was amazing!

Mr. ///M3 RD · 11-24-2011, 04:56 PM

made my day too

very funny dude ... shall we send it to Jay Leno

prichards516 · 11-24-2011, 05:07 PM

LMAO, this is great!! is there such a thing as TOO much vajayjay

10-19-2011, 04:10 PM	#2
txz4 Major 60 Rep 1,097 Posts Drives: 2006 M coupe Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: san antonio, texas iTrader: (3)	AHAHAHAHAH
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-23-2011, 02:19 AM	#3
EngineCo52 Major 60 Rep 1,457 Posts Drives: 2007 Montego 328xi CPE Join Date: May 2011 Location: Havre de Grace, MD iTrader: (2)	waahahahahahahahahahahah LMFAO __________________ E92 328xi Mods-KW V1-BMW Performance Exhaust-Matte Black Grill-CF Mirror Covers-CF B-Pillars-20% Tint-Coming soon:AG M310's, M3 Rep Front, Black Roof, Vinyl Window Trim E9x Picture Game-8 Points-Roundabout, Something Remarkable(stack of 50 g's), Cruise Memorabilia, Dirt Road w/ Trees, Michael Jackson, Police Station ,Dress-Up Funny, TPMS
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-23-2011, 10:42 PM	#4
TroyDeJ Banned 84 Rep 984 Posts Drives: around aimlessly Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Long Island iTrader: (1)	that was absolutely the funniest thing ive ever read hahahahahaha
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-23-2011, 10:47 PM	#5
CJ421 Brigadier General 1920 Rep 4,201 Posts Drives: BMW G80 M3 Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: PA, USA iTrader: (1) Garage List 2024 BMW M3 Sedan [9.67]	LMAO!!!! __________________ 2024 BMW M3 Sedan Frozen Pure Grey II/Fjord Blue, 6MT Past: 2021 Z4 M40i Frozen Grey II/Black Alcantara \| 2017 F30 340i Mineral Gray/Coral Red, 6MT \| 2011 E92 335i Le Mans Blue/Black, 6MT
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-23-2011, 10:50 PM	#6
choicez Major 274 Rep 1,124 Posts Drives: you mad Join Date: May 2009 Location: LA iTrader: (15)
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-30-2011, 06:33 PM	#7
shazzy04 Lieutenant Colonel 29 Rep 1,864 Posts Drives: '15 F22 M235i Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: South Jersey iTrader: (6)	LMAO __________________ 2015 M235i - Mineral Gray/Coral Red - Cold Weather/ Technology/Premium Packages Mods coming soon
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-30-2011, 06:39 PM	#8
crimsonred335is Private 16 Rep 56 Posts Drives: a car Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (0)	That made my day!
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-30-2011, 10:29 PM	#9
Chewy734 Major General 494 Rep 6,798 Posts Drives: 2006 BMW 330i ZPP, ZSP Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: LA, CA iTrader: (15)	haha... awesome. __________________ Currently for sale: [19" Linea Corse LC818 wheel], [19" Fallen FK452 tire]
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-31-2011, 02:18 AM	#10
lopealle Resident Black Guy 268 Rep 2,302 Posts Drives: Lion Join Date: May 2009 Location: Federal Way, WA iTrader: (2) Garage List 2006 M5 [10.00]	Ha
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-31-2011, 11:18 AM	#11
Dvdman Major 181 Rep 1,000 Posts Drives: 2022 X5 and 2007 M6 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Chicago, IL iTrader: (2)	Funny.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

10-31-2011, 11:42 AM	#12
sistom Second Lieutenant 63 Rep 254 Posts Drives: '08 135i M-Sport Coupé Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Saint Simons Island, Georgia iTrader: (3) Garage List 2023 M440xi Gran Coupe [0.00]	I still get a kick out of this every time I read it! hahaha
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-08-2011, 10:54 PM	#13
dtwyim Captain 52 Rep 874 Posts Drives: BMW no more Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Canada iTrader: (0)	Would be interesting to meet the writer in person and have a conservation with him.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-09-2011, 12:36 AM	#14
darebornsolja First Lieutenant 19 Rep 333 Posts Drives: 18 F80 [yezy] Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Arcadia iTrader: (3) Garage List 2018 BMW M3 [0.00]	I second that. If this guy wrote this about a skyline, imagine what he'll write about a v8 m3 or higher... sh**s getting serious son LOL
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-09-2011, 08:28 AM	#15
Focusedintntions Colonel 111 Rep 2,696 Posts Drives: 2011 135i M-Sport :D Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: NoVA iTrader: (1)	LMao nice find! __________________ Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death… – Hunter Thompson
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-16-2011, 06:19 PM	#16
BMW Fanatic Banned 147 Rep 3,293 Posts Drives: slow Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Calgary iTrader: (11)	HAHAHA I've never been to this section on the forums, but I'm gonna have to come here more often. It's still on sale FYI LOL.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-22-2011, 11:00 AM	#17
chris@rsituning 11 Rep 43 Posts Drives: BMW Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Irvine iTrader: (0)	hahahah that was amazing! __________________ drop shipping supplier
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-24-2011, 04:56 PM	#18
Mr. ///M3 RD Happy Camper 634 Rep 7,869 Posts Drives: C63 AMG & 280 SL on Weekends : Join Date: May 2010 Location: GTA, Ontario - Canada iTrader: (0) Garage List 1969 Restored Merce ... [7.50] 2011 M3 Coupe TRADED [7.34] 1987 BMW 535is [1.00] Cars from the Past [6.50] The ///M3 Engine S65 [9.59]	made my day too very funny dude ... shall we send it to Jay Leno __________________ Cheers, Rolf-Dieter Life will take us to some interesting places, fortunately The ///M3 will too with a many of us know this very well, now my C6.3 AMG with 487 HP does it too ---> Click here for some good stuff I found
	Appreciate 0 Quote

11-24-2011, 05:07 PM	#19
prichards516 Lieutenant 30 Rep 480 Posts Drives: e92 M3 zcp Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Long Island, NY iTrader: (2)	LMAO, this is great!! is there such a thing as TOO much vajayjay
	Appreciate 0 Quote