[E93M3-08]

This is a few years old, but most of it still applies.


Courtesy of Rick Mercer from "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" on CBC Television:

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.

He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.

[finaloption]

LOL this coming from a Canadian that the rest of Canada can't stand

surprised your posts weren't in French

[Taskmaster]

French Canadians

[E93M3-08]

Originally Posted by finaloption

LOL this coming from a Canadian that the rest of Canada can't stand

If you really believe that, you need to watch less TV and travel more. You obviously have no idea how much BS is being fed to you as "information".

surprised your posts weren't in French

Why would I post in French on an English forum? Yes, I do speak French ... and Italian and I use whatever language is necessary to communicate given the circumstance.

I suspect your "surprise" stems from your misinformation and, you know what, sadly it's not that uncommon. Hopefully, you'll be less surprised next time someone from this part of the world expresses himself in English.

[finaloption]

LOL are you serious? i thought Canadians had a sense of humor.. guess not

geez, way to kill the mood

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by finaloption

LOL are you serious? i thought Canadians had a sense of humor.. guess not

geez, way to kill the mood

Hahaha! He's the exception!!!

[Nkc]

He's the type of Canadian that speaks French and Italian. Somehow learning those 2 languages made him lose his sense of humour. Of course I kid, I'm Canadian, I'm never serious.

[E93M3-08]

Originally Posted by finaloption

LOL are you serious? i thought Canadians had a sense of humor.. guess not

geez, way to kill the mood

Canadians? I've met a few - haven't gotten around to meeting them all yet - and most appear to have a sense of humor. I do too ... here I'll prove it I hope that restores your faith in "Canadians' sense of humor" ... somewhat.

Sooo, having cleared THAT up, have you considered that what you said, and how you said it maybe wasn't that funny?

No?

While this would be an opportune moment to generalize and repeat a few stereotypes of my own in order to re-establish the "mood" ... I'll refrain out of respect for some of the more "sensitive" members who can dish it out but apparently can't take it.

(There, is that better?)

[E93M3-08]

Originally Posted by Nkc

He's the type of Canadian that speaks French and Italian. Somehow learning those 2 languages made him lose his sense of humour. Of course I kid, I'm Canadian, I'm never serious.

Au contraire, mon chèr NKC, I laugh in three languages.

Ciao.

[E93M3-08]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Hahaha! He's the exception!!!

... easy for you to say, you're from what @finaloption calls "the rest of Canada"

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by e9106

North American Temperature Chart

• 50F -> New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
  
  
• 40F -> Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
  
  
• 35F -> Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with windows down.
  
  
• 32F -> Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
  
  
• 0F -> New York landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
  
  
• -40F -> Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians watch Netflix.
  
  
• -60F -> Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
  
  
• -100F -> Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
  
  
• -173F -> Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
  
  
• -460F -> All atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold eh?"
  
  
• -500F -> Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

I disagree with your last marking...I feel 0 degrees Kelvin is probably the outside temperature required before they win again. I do not understand how they have such a loyal fan base. I don't like hockey, but they truly suck.

[bosstones]

Dammit, Canada.....I thought I said to keep your cold air to yourselves?! As I type, it is 0F but -17F with the windchill.

[E93M3-08]

Originally Posted by bosstones

Dammit, Canada.....I thought I said to keep your cold air to yourselves?! As I type, it is 0F but -17F with the windchill.

0 deg. F ... and you're complaining? Please, please send it back if you're not entirely satisfied.

-11 F this morning ... -31 F with windchill. Same $8!t - different day.

[davis449]

Originally Posted by e9106

0 deg. F ... and you're complaining? Please, please send it back if you're not entirely satisfied.

-11 F this morning ... -31 F with windchill. Same $8!t - different day.

You would last about 4 seconds outside down here in May. "Fuck it's 90F, you guys are having a heat wave, eh!?"

[E93M3-08]

Originally Posted by davis449

You would last about 4 seconds outside down here in May. "Fuck it's 90F, you guys are having a heat wave, eh!?"

Thanks for the heads up.

I'll leave my fur lined flip-flops at home if I head your way in May.